Ok. once Your partner cheat, it's over right? Things will never be the same. You can't expect a "counselor" to help because the fact that they cheated is still there. It's just nasty. Why would you waist your time trying to fix something that will be broken forever? If your partner thought that your relationship was worth fixin" they wouldn't of stepped out on you to begin with. Total disrespect.
2007-10-02 07:28:00 · 29 answers · asked by Paradise 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I agree. A cheater didn't just fall over and accidentally have sex with someone else. It was a choice they made (drunk is not an excuse) and if it happens, it's over. I would never allow a cheater to come back, because why wouldn't they do it again knowing they can get away with it?
2007-10-02 07:31:17 · answer #1 · answered by smartsassysabrina 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can see your point of view, and every opinion is as valid and as likely to be right as any other. On the assumption however, that people don't just cheat for no reason infidelity can be symptomatic of other problems within the relationship which the partners (for whatever reason) didn't know how to solve. After a heart attack your heart will never be 100% again, but you still opt for treatment and repairs to the extent its possible, right? Why? Because if you don't, you'll die. But then, "why waste your time fixing something that will be broken forever?" Because cracks and flaws don't mean something ceases to have value (otherwise America would've discarded the Liberty Bell, right?) Now, I'm not talking about trying to forgive and rehabilitate the "playa"...this clown is going to do what he does for as long as he/she can get away with it. I'm talking about genuine people of conscience who made legitimate mistakes or lapses in judgement. It's entirely possible they deserve another chance if everything else had value between them and their partners. Food for thought, at least.
2007-10-02 07:42:31 · answer #2 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, cheating is bad and can break a relationship, but it's possible to rebuild, provided both parties are willing to work their butts off for it. And no, it won't be the same relationship. It'll be very different, but it doesn't mean it'll be broken or less whole than what came before the cheating. Doesn't mean that because one party cheated, the relationship isn't worth trying to salvage.
2007-10-02 07:32:55 · answer #3 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes it takes a mistake such as cheating to make a person realize what a wonderful thing they have. Sometimes it takes a big ordeal such as cheating to make a couple sit down and actually talk about their relationship. It depends on if the cheater is genuinely sorry and if the victim here is able to forgive, in time of course.
2007-10-02 07:32:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hurt from betrayal can run pretty deep. I tend to agree with you in the fact that those thoughts will always be in the back of your mind. I could never understand why people just don't walk away from someone they are not happy with instead of wasting their time and emotions. Too many fish in the sea to stay with a rotten one. Find yourself someone true and try not to be bitter.
2007-10-02 07:37:40 · answer #5 · answered by Teresa S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on if they are only dating or married, children/ no children.
If married w/children you try to find out the reason for him/her cheating and build on how to keep it from happening again. I do not believe in "Once a cheater, always a cheater". I do believe that in some relationships the woman's sex drive does go dorm-ate and or it could be that she built a wall (TALL one) because of the marital relationship...The husband may not be too sensitive to her needs and thus not getting sex at home he'll go find it!
(If you don't feed your Dog at home, he'll rummage thu the trash!)
2007-10-02 07:34:55 · answer #6 · answered by Numb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I caught my partner of 10 years cheating on me, I did a lot of reading and research. What I read was that only 10 percent of relationships can really recover from a cheating incident and that's only with counseling, etc. The person has to be totally repentent and has to be willing to cut the other person (cheater) out of his/her life and go to counseling with you to sort it out properly. Most aren't willing to do that.
Good luck! :)
2007-10-02 07:33:09 · answer #7 · answered by searching_please 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think everyone deserves a second chance. A relationship is not broken until one party feels like they would be better off leaving the relationship.
Also, I think divorce is immoral unless you have tried as hard as you can. In my book, that means following your heart.
If he or she cheats once and you think they will do it again....maybe you should leave. In many cases, someone can make a mistake and not repeat it. If you love someone, you will put up with alot.
2007-10-02 07:32:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Yep I agree. Thats something worked prehandedly. They must have considerate it before they even did it. And they fell into temptation. So I wouldn't even bother.
2007-10-02 07:31:38 · answer #9 · answered by KiRACASNiAGA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to realize is that in life everything doesn't fit into a neat little black & white box; there are many shades of gray.
2007-10-02 07:31:36 · answer #10 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋