Catholic Wedding Question?

Question

My fiance and I recently went in and spoke with her Priest about getting married at her church. Something was mentioned about us having to sign something stating we'll raise our kids catholic. Does anyone know what the consequences are if we ended up not raising our children catholic, even though we said that we would?

Answer 1

Only the Catholic signs the statement promising to raise the children as Catholics. It is a precept (requirement) of the faith for Catholic to raise their children as Catholics.

The nonCatholic only signs an acknowledgement of the Catholic's promise.

Let me ask you this.....How does it make you feel that your girlfriend is willing to sign a written promise to do something she has no intention to do? How do you feel about the vows she will make to you?

And why, if you have no intention to raise your children as Catholics would you even worry about getting married in the Catholic Church?

I think you both need to have a loooooonnnnnggggg discussion - with the priest- about the importance of a true and lively faith in the raising of children.....and in the importance of being faithful to the promises that you make.

Answer 2

I don't believe you have to sign anything, but for the Catholic priest to agree to a wedding between a Catholic and a non-Catholic, he must get a promise that the children will be raised Catholic. There is nothing binding about that answer except knowlingly deceiving a priest. I would look into your heart and if you really don't want to raise your children Catholic then don't lie about it and get married in a protestant church.

Answer 3

Only the Catholic spouse is required to sign something saying the children will be raised Catholic.

If a Catholic parent fails to instruct their children about the Catholic faith, which all Catholics believe to be true, then the Catholic parent is denying their children knowledge of the truth. This is a sin, and the Catholic parent who does this must answer to God for it.

If you, as the non-Catholic parent, intend to thwart your future wife's obligation to raise the children Catholic, you should speak up about it now. It's something that needs to be worked out before the wedding.

If she as a Catholic is iffy on whether or not she will do her best to raise the children Catholic, then she should not sign the paper saying she will do so.

Answer 4

This promise is not only made in writing, it is also made by public declaration. When you declare your intentions before your family, friends, the priest, and God himself, you will make a promise to bring your children up in the Church.

The most serious consequences would probably be to your own conscience. If you make empty promises, what does that say about your integrity? A related issue is damage to your reputation. Many of the people who witness your promise will know whether or not you were serious, which calls into questions the other marriage promises, e.g., "to forsake all others," and "until death."

The rite of marriage is all about promises. I would think very seriously about making truthful vows. If you are unable to honestly make these promises, you should reconsider your interest in a Catholic marriage.

Too, your fiance, knowing that marriage with you will cost her a united Catholic family and leave her children cut off from the original Church organized by Jesus, under the promise and protection of Jesus, with the full Gospel given by Jesus, should rethink her own decisions about your relationship.

Cheers,
Bruce

Answer 5

I didn't have to sign anything as far as I remember, but I did verbally agree when asked that question by the priest.

As I am not a liar, I raised my children Catholic, then joined them in the faith.

If you don't intend to raise your children Catholic, find another church in which to wed.

Answer 6

*Is Catholic*

Consequences for whom?

For your children they might not make it to heaven. The farther away an individual gets from Christ and His Church, the harder it is to live a moral life let alone seek sanctification.

For yourselves -- well it depends. It would be breaking and oath to Christ. Also if you deliberately feed your kids poison, the state would throw you in jail. If you deliberately don't teach your children the truth about God wouldn't that be a bad thing?

Canonically if you are teaching your children false things, then you would be some form of schismatic, heretic, or apostate. The degree (material or formal) depends on how much you believe in what you are teaching.

It is possible that you could get yourself bared from communion if what you are teaching gives rise to scandal. Depending on what you are doing you could get excommunicated.

That is the basics.

But when somebody comes to me and asks me the question you did, I say, would you teach your children that the sky is pink? Of course not! Then as parents it is your duty to teach your children the truth about God!

Answer 7

It's up to you how to raise your children. Do what you think is right.

If you and your future spouse are questioning this requirement, look closer at your decision to get married in a catholic church.

I think the consequences of not raising your kids catholic will be more open-minded and caring children. No offence intended.

Answer 8

Spanish Jesuits will come to your home, repossess your wedding rings and snatch wedding pictures off your wall.

The priests who already answered have the technical theological answers. Seems to me (non theologian) that you will have lied to a priest and you and your new wife will have started your married life based on a lie.

If you want to follow the Catholic faith I am all for it. If not, there are lots of other very nice places to get married as well.

Answer 9

Well, that question goes to the idea of "sacramental intention" - noting that you understand the meaning of the Catholic Sacrament. If you knowingly sign such a document and do NOT "intend" to raise your children as Catholics, that could be seen as an act of fraud, something that could in fact invalidate your Sacrament of Holy Matrimony - making it null and void. That could easily be seen as a sacramental defect.

The"consequences" - well....that would be between you and God.

Answer 10

They probably won't let you back in that church. If you don't intend to raise your children as Catholics, do not sign the statement. You can be legally married by someone else.