Heres the situation!! I work at a juvenile correctional facility which is a demanding job, but i absolutely love it....i also attend school full time, on campus, and am a single mom to a three year old boy!! i dont want to give up school or work because both of those are going to make life for me and my son much better in the long run....but i feel bad that he doesnt have tons of quality time with me....he is well adjusted so hes not neglected or anything...i just feel that i am missing out on seeing him grow up...i am missing little things on the day to day basis.....how do i get over the feeling of guilt and still be an awesome mom?????????
2007-10-02 06:55:08 · 8 answers · asked by Laugh!! 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
******* for the comment of "you shouldn't have got pregnant in the first place" and "your son is already shortchanged", how about i was married when i got pregnant and in the military, i am a single mom because his dad came back from iraq extremely messed up in the head***********
2007-10-02 18:12:39 · update #1
I balanced my career by changing to part time, and also attend Graduate classes in the evening. However, I am married and have the support of my husband and family.
I might suggest you consider only 1-2 courses a semster. Maybe only one on campus, one on-line. Also, I have found summer sessions tend to be easier and certainly a 5 week course beats a 16 week course.
The guilt part? Well, it's there because you are an awesome mom by making these sacrifices now, so you can have a better life for your son. You value education, you value your career. Take your user name of 'LAUGHTER' and replace that with the guilt. Include more laughing in your daily silly routines with your little guy.
Best of luck to you!
2007-10-02 08:41:58 · answer #1 · answered by Sharon F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all if anybody says you're doing too much or your not being a good mom they know nothing! You're a great mom! You're going to make such a great life for you and your child. I'm proud of you!
Just as you schedule work and school into your time, schedule your son into your time. Don't replace time with you with a new toy or game. Go to the library together, go to a movie, play a board game and buy a pizza. You can still be a good mother and be all of those other things to better your future and his.
The longer you wait you wont have time whe it really matters to him. When he has baseball games, school plays, PTA events and trick or treating. Finish now and you'll be there. Who's to say someone special won't come into your life between now and then? I surely wouldn't bank on it but you'll want time for an family that might expand too.
2007-10-02 18:23:14 · answer #2 · answered by Annie Hightower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing too much away from home. Trust me. Been there done that. You will regret it when you and he are older and so will he. He will only be little for a short time and he needs you. I am sorry if this isn't what you want to hear. We almost made the same mistake with our first. It's not just that you are missing what he is doing...he is missing time with you. Listen to your guilt.... as it is telling you something. Your guilt means you are a good mom, not thinking only of yourself..now you have to listen to it and find ways to be with your child.
What did we do? Well, I was a working girl for YEARS...never knew part-time other than when I was in high school. My plan was to continue to work and upgrade my education while having kids. And my dear, I struggled with these plans and I am not a single mother...I can only imagine what your job and school do to your time to spend with your precious child..
In the end, I opted for schooling online and I changed jobs. I finished my online education but it took me longer because I made sure to have time for my kids. Now I am finished my education, making the big bucks and I can afford to work less than full time. Two of my kids are still very young and I am happy, happy, happy that I did things that way.
I have two friends who are single moms and also schooled online. It is everywhere now and on-campus learning is now unnecessary. Or you wait to go to school when it doesn't affect him as much. School will always be there, so will money. Your young child will not.
I know you say that education will make your life and his better in the long run...but let me ask you this...how much better will it be if he's lost to you forever because of the time you missed? Money never replaces a parent's love and time.
Did Jenn actually say you may miss out on the "little" things now but get in on the big things later???? How condecending! To say that the needs of a 3 year old are LITTLE? The years between 1 and 5 are the formative time...when all of who they are come together to form the rest of their life! I'll bet you 10 to 1, Jenn does not have a child. If small children's lives were so insignificant why not board them out until they're, say, 13. Then we can go pick them up and start forming a relationship and enjoy the "big things". Sheesh.
I listened to the warnings of many who had sacrificed time with their kids for career or school and they told me that if they had to do it over again, they'd truly put their kids first.
I'm glad l listened....
Will you?
2007-10-02 14:30:25 · answer #3 · answered by GeriGeri 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why would anyone have a child as a single mother and then attend to all these other things? You made a bad decision by getting pregnant first. Your child needs to have his mother close at hand at least until he is in school full time. I suggest you stop attending school for the next three or four years until he is in school.
Listen to your guilt. There is no benefit to the relationship you and your son share if you will have some more disposable income some time in the future. Children need mothers and fathers. He has already been shortchanged on that deal. You need to do more parenting than a married mother, not less.
.
2007-10-02 14:17:50 · answer #4 · answered by Jacob W 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well I believe that in the end when its all over with, you will NOT regret any of it because you would have made a better life for you AND your son. I say go for it girl! You can miss the little things now and be there for the BIG things later on down the road.
2007-10-02 14:06:21 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ Jenn 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You wont be able to balance till you are done with school and get your career on track. You do really sound busy but being a single mother you do need to make sure you can provide for yourself and son later in life so just hurry up and finish what you are doing and then you can slow down and be with him.
2007-10-02 14:02:50 · answer #6 · answered by fyrechick 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you're an awesome mom b/c you're trying to make a better life for you and your son.
the key is to make the most of the time you DO have with your son. DO as much as possible in the time that you're granted.
2007-10-02 13:58:46 · answer #7 · answered by *DiZzLe* 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋
well first thing DO NOT VOTE HITLARY CLINTON IN OFFICE
second JUST CHECK OUT RON PAULS ISSUES
he actually cares
2007-10-02 14:32:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋