Hey, I asked this in another area and got a lot of mixed opinions, so I wanted to ask actual parents.
I'm planning on giving my girlfriend of one year a promise ring. There are definite reasons why we aren't going for an engagement ring: 1.) She doesn't want to be engaged before she turns 20, and she'll be a month shy of that... 2.) She still has another year and a half of college left, and I don't want her mixing school and wedding planning when she can't handle that, and 3.) I want to be more settled financially before taking that step.
Everyone in my other question seems to be in agreement that it's not as big of a deal because a promise ring is between her and me. But my question is.... in this situation, would you be more upset if I didn't say anything to you as a parent about this, or would it be better not to bring it up (because it might create anxiety thinking about having your only daughter one day moving out). Please be honest, I want to do this the RIGHT way.
2007-10-02 06:50:44 · 17 answers · asked by Matt B 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Well...my daughter is only 5, so I have some time before I really have to think about this, but right now I would say that it's between her and her bf.
I think it would be respectful of you to ask, but not really necessary. Just be warned...the first boy that tries to take my daddy's girl will probably be staring down the barrel of a shotgun...lol.
2007-10-02 07:44:32 · answer #1 · answered by ambertmbg1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a parent and this is just my opinion. I would not be upset if you gave my child a promise ring and didnt ask. After all a promise ring in my opinion is that you just promise to be faithful to her. Now on the other hand if you gave her an engagement ring I would not be upset if you didnt ask either. I mean after all how many men ask get told NO and then ask the girl anyway? If you want to rack up brownie points(if you need them) then ask but the decisions your making as an adult are between the two of you, you shouldnt need permission from her family.
2007-10-02 07:03:27 · answer #2 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A promise ring is between you and her. I would say, once you decide to get engaged formally, let both your parents know (I don't know about the asking for permission thing. You are both legal adults. Why do you need to ask permission?). As a parent, I wouldn't get upset about not knowing about a promise ring but I would want ot know ASAP about an engagement, whether I was the parent of the son or the daughter!
2007-10-02 06:56:53 · answer #3 · answered by Shelley L 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
As a parent of two daughters, I don't think you need, and the focus is on the word need, the parents approval of giving their daughter a promise ring. However, after you have given the ring to your girlfriend, respect for the parents should steer you with your girlfriend into the soonest opportunity to meet with them, maybe over dinner out (your treat) and let them know what the promise ring means and your intentions for the future.
2007-10-02 07:15:30 · answer #4 · answered by Maggie May 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If its not an engagement ring then no I don't think he should. If my bf asked my dad permission to give me a promise ring I think he'd say something like "Come back when your really ready to take her off my hands!"
2016-04-07 00:32:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would like it honestly to know if my sons were to give away a promise ring to a girl. That is some serious steps! No, it's not an engagement ring, BUT it is suppose to lead towards that! I would get to know her parents a bit more, and talk to them honestly I would repect that so much more! Good Luck on your decision! ~T~ :)
P.S. I wouldn't pressure her either
2007-10-02 07:08:55 · answer #6 · answered by boxerlover_96 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Mama Paq - the idea of asking a parent for the daughter's hand in marriage is very antiquated. The only reason it ever existed was because women were legally considered property, and father's basically sold their daughter to a husband.
2007-10-02 08:41:13 · answer #7 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex gave me a promise ring within 2 weeks of us being together (should of been a reg flag i know). He didn't ask my parents or tell them, he actually took me, he said were going out to the store, took me to the jewelry store and gave me a limit (that i went over with his help) and came home with it and showed it to my parents, my mom thought it was so sweet, my dad i think had a hissy fit to my mom but oh well he got over it. He did ask my parents on the engagement part that i did accept and break. I insisted on it, tradition is important, its important because you want to start off with tradition so you will continue it with your family you one day will have.
2007-10-02 08:09:41 · answer #8 · answered by Jewels 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A promise ring is not an engagement ring. It's only a pre-cursor to it, so I would say go for it. But when you do get her that engagement ring, then I would say talk to her parents?
2007-10-02 06:59:26 · answer #9 · answered by Miley 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're concerned, I think it would rack up serious points in your corner to let her parents know what your intentions are. You sound like a good guy, w/ a reasonable plan, and if her parents are nice, I don't see a problem.
My husband actually didn't ask permission to marry me (b/c my parents are crazy) but my parents got over it, and they love him.
Think about what they might say, and if they happened to say no, would it change your decision? If not, you might not want to ask, b/c if you ask and they say no, and then you do it anyway, that's a bit more sticky of a situation.
"It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission"
2007-10-02 06:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by Dj 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋