Why do all our kids think we owe them something more than a place to live and food? Kids are crazy these days?

Question

When they turn 16 they think you owe them a car

When they turn 18 and they don't have a job and drop out of school, all they want is to party with their friends 24-7 then they think we still owe them a place to live

Where do they get off - kids these days have no morals or respect

Its like they are manufactured for manipulation

I helped them with homework
I read to them as they grew up
I sent them to church
I put them in sports and paid for ballet, karate and community center activities

I talked to them about the dangers of drugs
I hugged them and told them I loved them
I warned them about bad things and how to avoid them
I gave them a time to be home
I asked to meet their friends parents

What else can you do - where did I go wrong

It seems like this problem is more of a society thing and fitting in, peer pressure and what they see in movies and on TV (in games)

It isn't always the parents - it is more about what they are exposed to

Answer 1

"Spare the rod, spoil the child"

But that's ok, reality hits when mom and dad (or in my case, Me) tells them," no you can't move back in, no, I won't lend you any money..."
"Yes, your car payments are your responsibility as is your insurance."

I make my son do chores, he gets an allowance. If he wants something, he'd better be working for me, (I pay him $10 an hr.) and he buys his own comp. games or whatever...He also does his own laundry, dishes and cleans his room (after I beat him)
He is also very aware of what goes on around him. His last LA report was on the North American Union. Not bad for a kid of 15......
and, yes.....I know he gets high.....

Answer 2

My kids don't bug me too much about buying them stuff cause they know if they set me off, I will absolutely not buy it for them.
When I thought I could make my own rules as a teenager I found out I was right when I was taken to some relatives' house and dropped off. The phrase I remember hearing was, 'don't come back.'
Teenagers will always be teenagers. I suppose it's how we raise them that matters. How they'll turn out.
I'm married, work in maintenance at a sawmill and have two kids. Probably have a few more before I'm done. Even if it shortens my lifespan.

Answer 3

As a matter of clarification, I NEVER expected ANYTHING out of my parents.

When I was 16, my parents were literally begging me to go to the DMV to get my driver's licence. I honestly didn't want to drive because I was terrifed of it back then.

When I was 18, I graduated high school with a 3.5 GPA. Two weeks later, I got a job making $7 an hour at a doctor's office. A month later, I finally got my driver's licence. I saved MY money for 6 months to buy my cousin's 97' pontiac convertible from her for $3000.

When I did go out to party, I called my parents and kept them updated throughout the night because I didn't want them to worry.

You want to clarify what you mean by "ALL OUR KIDS" now?

Answer 4

It really just depends on how they are brought up by their parents. Their moral compass comes from both their friends and parents although more from friends as they are peers. Kids want to "keep up with the Jones'" as much as the rest of us. The only difference is they haven't learned the value of a buck yet. Everyone in my family has a wide screen TV except me. When I visit their houses I get a little green with envy, but I know I cannot afford one right now. Kids learn the value of a buck when they are the ones earning it, not their folks.

Answer 5

I think it comes in how you raise them. I'm not saying you are a bad parent, but it seems like you didn't say NO enough, or teach them enough responsibility. You have to teach them the value of a dollar from a young age these days. You have to make them do chores and get an afternoon job if they want luxuries like a car or designer jeans...and sometimes you just have to NOT let them have things, just so they understand that you don't always get what you want.

Answer 6

Well, they aren't born that way...they get that way because of what they're shown, what they're taught and how they're raised. Also consider that peer pressure is a very real socializing agent, so if their peers act that way, kids will try that particular behavior on to see how it fits. The family is a greater influence, however, and most lessons on how to behave in the world come from home.

Answer 7

It's life imitating art (the movies/Hollywood). Kids watch TV or movies and believe that life is supposed to be that way. Adults also fail to talk to their kids and teach them to have realistic expectations. I agree that society has changed and kids don't have the morals and respect that was common. It's up to the adults to take back the reigns and actually teach their kids and discipline them when appropriate.

Answer 8

Yup ... many kids are growing up with a total lack of discipline and respect. They feel that they're "entitled" to things and this "no disciplining of our children" has lead to a spoiled attitude where they feel that if we say "no" to them ... we're saying we don't love them.

It's usually not the children's fault - it's the adults that are raising them.

It's an immaturity which life will typically slap out of them as soon as they're forced to face the "real world" without anyone to coddle them... telling them that there are no "losers" and "everyone's a winner" and to "not take no for an answer" and that they "can do whatever they want" ... and they don't teach them the hard work & discipline required to achieve their goals. Instead they just collapse and give in to their children's demands because they're "too busy" to teach them the facts of life - to show them that life isn't going to coddle them - and that reality is the harsh b*tch which is going to knock them on their butts and laugh about it when they're down.

Kids aren't born with these attitudes - it's taught to them & encouraged by those who raise them.

Answer 9

Because a lot of times parents act like and would rather be friends with their children more than parents.

there are a lot of lazy parents out there that use material stuff as a way to get their kids affection.

Answer 10

These kids are products of a broken education system called public schools. It's pretty sad. But it's frightening to see messed up kids becoming parents.