My current boyfriend now just turned 20 in sept. and I at 16 is turning 17. Do you think Parents should know if I am dating a much older Guy? Is it true that age really dont matter in some cases? Is it or can it be a healthy relationship?
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My current boyfriend is yea, 20 !!! well, he is very honest with me when and if I ask questions about anything and everything. I heard some rumor about him having a kid, so I asked him, and he told me yes he May have, but his ex from yrs. ago wont have a DNA test done on the kid to find out if it is his or not, he has tried many times to give her money to take care of the child, just in case it is his, but she does refuz to let him do anything...I'm so happy he was honest with me abt it, and I honor him for that....It doesnt bother me either that he might have a kid.but I need to know is it healthy 2 be in this kind of relationship with a older guy like this....Weve been togather 3 months.
2007-10-02 06:06:32 · 22 answers · asked by kayla9825 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well u r very young still. i met my husband in high school & have 2 kids im now 23. if he makes you happy great but i think you should enjoy it. have fun dont fight and do indeed tell your parents. if you hide something like this from your parents they might find out elsewhere. if your have sex with him i hope ur taking care of urself. you really dont need a baby right now. like i said just enjoy it
2007-10-02 06:13:58 · answer #1 · answered by jenne4l 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In all honesty, your age in the grand scheme of things is really not that far apart. When you are both of legal ages you will realize that four years or 3 years is really not a big deal.
I think the advice for you no matter if you are dating a 20 yr old or a 17 yr old, would be that you should be careful and take care of yourself first. Don't make a stupid decision that you may have to live with for the rest of your life. Remember that you do have your whole life ahead of you and be aware that you are still young and although certain things might seem like a good idea now, they may not be later.
Otherwise, I won't tell you not to do or have this relationship. Only you can make that decision in the end for yourself. As far as your parents go, I'm sure they will not be happy even if he was your age, so its kind of a no win situation. But, that just parents for you. As long as you have your head on your shoulders correctly you should be fine no matter what.
2007-10-02 06:15:26 · answer #2 · answered by Tickle me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At your age you should approach with more logic, than with your heart. Yes people should know what your involvement is. If he does not want to respect you by meeting your parents, then he is NOT the one. You do not sound too sure, or you would not solicit answers from strangers. You are too young to wrap your life into someone else's that already has a little drama baggage going on. You should not have to ask about a person 'after' you have heard the rumors. Take your time growing up. Do not add unnecessary complications. Stay close to any strong males in your family, they will guide and protect you. If your boyfriend sees no sign of a strong male, he can easily take advantage of your tender heart.
2007-10-02 06:17:37 · answer #3 · answered by CC65 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is not healthy to be in a relationship with an older guy whether he has a kid, might have a kid or doesnt have a kid. but the ting is ur not far apart in age so if u guys really like each other yall would make every effort to make your relationship work. good luch guys. P.S. my parents are 3 yrs apart as well an dated at yall age. they broke up an my dad got married wen he thought the kid was his but d kids wasnt so my dad got a divorce an went w/ my mom an now they are married for 22 yrs.
2007-10-02 06:17:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are dating a pedophile and you honor him for that?
Yes, age does matter when one of you is a child, and you are legally a child. He can go to prison for up to 20 years and have to register as a pedophile for the rest of his life if someone tells the cops on you. It only takes one cop to see you and file the paperwork.
He has a child but won't pay for a DNA test to be sure? He wants his ex to pay for it? That's not very responsible.
And what kind of man is he that this woman wants him to have nothing to do with this child? He must be a really bad father.
Yeah, you need to tell your parents so they can get you counseling so you can figure out why you let this man use you like he is. Your parents need to file charges so he doesn't do this to another young girl.
2007-10-02 06:11:22 · answer #5 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You'd be surprised at how much a difference three years of your life makes in someones maturity. Especially at the age of 17.
I cannot say if your relationship with this older man is healthy or not. But be warned, if your parents don't like it and find out about it, they can press statutory rape charges against him if they find out about him. (Depending on the laws in your state.)
Be careful, girl. You are still a child in the eyes of the state and probably in the eyes of your parents. (Young adult, perhaps.) Use your best judgment.
And yes, age is nothing but a number. But mental age has everything to do with it.
2007-10-02 06:15:08 · answer #6 · answered by Cud_Wick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be careful. If he does not know about a child, he may not know about other children. Aslo, it is illegal for you to be dating him. If your parents are against it, then they could have him charged with statutory rape and sodomy.
Also, you have to wonder why a 20 year old is hanging around high school girls. You may be young and cute, but you lack experience and are very naive. I don't mean that in a bad way, just seems like that is what he maybe looking for, innocents and someone to control.
Good luck.
2007-10-02 06:14:29 · answer #7 · answered by donniez369 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to answer question #1: it depends on how balistic you think your parents will get knowing your dating an older guy with a kid. also, age sometimes matters cuz its a mental thing, a state of mind, most younger guys/girls really act childish and cant handle adult situation, alot of older people dont act thier age they can act childish or like they just so much older that they know everything. to your 2nd question: i have been dealing with a man with 3 kids, so if you think you are old enough to handle a situation like that be my guest, if not i suggest you bail out now instead of dragging it on. . . .dont feel bad if you dont want to deal either your young and have a long way to go in dealing with kids but just be careful cuz your not legal yet and your boyfriend can go to jail if someone tricks on ya'll especially if ya'll having sex!!! good luck
2007-10-02 06:14:50 · answer #8 · answered by Cutie Pie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Legally your a minor dating an adult, right?
Now that were eye to eye, I think if he had and has a child "before" you two were dating, then accept the child as you would your own.....NO problem...If he had this child while you guys were dating or in the middle of a semi temporary break up then leave him, honest or not.You don't want to worry when you two have a disagreement his way of "SPACE" is well, he just plants seeds all over the universe...
2007-10-02 06:20:01 · answer #9 · answered by Little big brains 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if he has a kid and is NOT part of the kid´s life that should serve as a wakeup call to you that should tell you something..he is a deadbeat dad that just got the woman pregnant and then left her. imagine if you ever got pregnant by him? he would do the same thing to you. he would knock u up and them dump u just like he did with the other girl. he is NOT good or responsible person if he is a deadbeat father...that´s what u should be worrying about-if it happened to that other girl it could also happen to you.
2007-10-02 06:11:51 · answer #10 · answered by Butterfly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋