so my mom is paying for the wedding, and she has said that she doesnt want "children" there because i have a few cousins. but my fiance has a small family and his 2 cousins are the only people we know young enough to be the ring bearer and flower girl.
i kinda had a falling out with my dads side of the family when they got divorced, i was just kinda lost to them since we lived far away, but a few months back i was invited to a surprise party for my grandfather and most of my cousins were there. and we all got along really well. we cought up talked about life and i felt like i really reconnected with them. my mom says if i one of them, then i have to do all of them. i dont feel like thats true. i'm really close now to my dads brothers 3 girls, but i havent seen his sisters daughter in well over 10 years so i wouldnt invite her anyways.
ettiquite wise, would it be ok to invite some cousins and not others, even if i invite all the parents? some live at home with the parents...
2007-10-02 05:14:48 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
there is a total of 8 people in question. so its not like a huge amount. my uncles 3 girls ranging in age from 12-17, then my aunts 2 kids, that i hardly know, i saw one at the reunion, but we hardly talked. then my other aunts 3 kids, 2 i havent seen in at least 10 years, one that was at the reunion and we got along really well.
2007-10-02 05:17:30 · update #1
thing is, a lot of the family says they're sorry we lost track of each other, and i dont want to upset some. but we are on a budge (my moms) and i dont want to ask too much from her.
2007-10-02 05:18:22 · update #2
just to respond to the "civil ceremony" idea, i'm an only child, so is my fiance, so i'm taking advantage of the best wedding i can plan! lol, its the only chance i'll have at this money so why not have an awesome party!!! and its not like its gonna be huge, only 125 people tops
2007-10-02 05:27:13 · update #3
It is OK for your guest list to reflect the fact that are close to and/or often spend time with some of your relatives, and that you are not close to and/or rarely spend time with others. There is nothing incorrect about inviting a young lady with whom you have formed a bond and not invited her sibling whom you barely know. You can't invite minor children living at home to a wedding without also inviting their parents. In a case like that I described, of inviting an out of town minor but not her sibling(s), you would want to consider the inconvenience to parents if some, but not all, of their children are invited. I'm sure you see how this places the family in a awkward position.
If your mother is paying for the wedding and prefers that no one under a certain age be invited, then her wishes should be honored. With her permission, you might be able to make exceptions for a ring bearer and flower girl, but it's perfectly possible to have a splendid wedding with neither. Defer to the person controlling the checkbook whenever possible -- to do less smacks of ingratitude.
2007-10-02 06:12:43 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If mom is graciously paying for the wedding, then she has the say whether she wants to limit the amount of people. But if she is not inviting them because it's your dad's side, then she is being petty. Don't invite some of the close friends if you really want to invite the family.
Marriage is all about compromise.
2007-10-02 14:56:09 · answer #2 · answered by theewokprincess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am in the same boat just a different situation. i have decided to only invite my mom's sister and her husband and their two kids(they are adults and married). i am not going to invite my mom's brother or his wife or any of his 6 adult kids. all of those cousins have gotten married and we were not invited or we found out after the fact. one cousin was getting married and the only reason we found out was because my sister had to ask our aunt something, otherwise we would still have no clue and it was his first marriage! i think that you should invite who you want to and not worry what the other relatives think, and if your mom is worried about the extra cost, then you should step up and pay for the extra people, that is only fair. good luck!
2007-10-02 12:35:19 · answer #3 · answered by nytengayle13 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
since there aren't that many people in question, i would invite them all as to not hurt anyone's feelings. the cousins that you barely know might not even come even if you do invite them.
also, for my wedding. i am inviting an aunt and uncle i have not seen in a while but i am not inviting their son, my cousin. he is an adult now, and i have not seen him since i was about 10 years old. i am now 25.
2007-10-02 12:20:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi there,
its okey to invite some of your relatives. try sending a invitation card for the wedding that allows 2 person only with confirmation of their attendance this way you will know on how many people will attend your wedding.
congratulations for a taking a new chapter in your life. take care
2007-10-02 12:25:14 · answer #5 · answered by huggy_lady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should invite them all (it's only 8 people). If you really are not that close with them they probley won't come anyways. The last thing you want to do is hurt someones feelings, just because your not close to them doesn't mean they don't still care about you and want to share in your special day. I think you should take the high road and if they don't come then it's on them not you.
2007-10-02 12:31:11 · answer #6 · answered by Mel G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't invite anyone. Have a simple civil ceremony at the County Courthouse.
2007-10-02 12:23:08 · answer #7 · answered by AviationMetalSmith 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Invite those you want to attend. Don't invite those you do not want to attend.
As you said, it is a small budget. Budget dictates who gets invited.
2007-10-02 14:59:22 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is right. If you invite one, you invite them all.
2007-10-02 12:21:42 · answer #9 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋