The problem: my sister, has a daughter 20yrs old, that has moved back in from living with a man for 2 years. She has a new job and trying to start a new life, but after being home one month, she has found out she is pregnant.
Question: Could someone give me biblical standards or verses on what the family's obligation toward this problem is?
My sister is upset, but is torn about what to do and her daughter is thinking about going back to this guy even though he abused her verbally and cheated on her openly.
I realize this is a forum. Just wanted some helpful thoughts. (neither my sister or her daughter are christians)
2007-10-02 05:12:01 · 9 answers · asked by hugskisses4707 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Let me begin by saying that I'm glad your sister and niece have someone strong like you in their life. I think it is essential that you have a pastor talk with your niece.
Since you asked for Biblical standards, I assume that you are a Christian. If your pastor is a good man/woman who has great compassion I would ask them to visit with your niece. She needs to understand that she will endanger her child by moving back into the home.
A man who openly cheats on his wife has no respect for her or for women. She doesn't want to be with such a man. If he is also abusive, she needs to understand that as the cycle of abuse grows both her and her child will be in physical danger.
The real problem here is that your niece has low self-esteem. So a pastor could help her understand the danger and help her grow emotionally.
But your real question is what Biblical advice you can give your sister and niece. The problem is the Bible is very limited in advice of this nature. Since the Old Testament forbids both living with a man outside marriage and having sex outside marriage, the Old Testament would probably call for the parents rejection and possible more severe punishment. So I don't think that will be helpful.
In the New Testament, this concept isn't directly addressed. But a verse that comes to mind is, "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:1-2 (NIV)
This passage calls for your sister and you to recognize that your niece has sinned. Now be careful, I'm not advising you to call her a sinner and threaten her to shape up. I greatly respect Paul's use of the word, gentle. Your niece needs to see, with much love and encouragement, how her actions have hurt her life. She needs also to be guided to living in a righteous manner.
At this time, that would include not being in a harmful environment and seeing that her and her child are protected. Thus if she was ready to come back home, then that might be the safest place for her and her child.
That brings us back to your sister and the second part of the scripture passage. Your sister needs to be encouraged to welcome her daughter lovingly into her home. Yes, that will be hard. After we have raised a family we are not ready to have a baby in our house. But sometimes we have to do what is right.
Her daughter will need help and what a wonderful teaching opportunity this will be. The family can help your niece get some needed rest and they can show her how to patiently and loving raise her child.
This is what it means to carry each others burdens. It is an act of extreme love. It is an act of lifting another up and making it easier to carry their burden. Both your niece and her child will need this type of love.
I hope this at least helps answer your question. May God bless you as you minister to your family. You are fulfilling the scripture. You are helping them carry their burdens.
I will pray for you and your family, sister.
Pastor John
2007-10-02 05:15:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, she sounds like she doesn't know how to take care of herself. She lives with an abusive boyfriend because she needs a place to stay, plus that she thinks she loves him, but I think that is more of a coping technique. Anybody in their right mind would leave abuse, and so she tires. She comes home hoping that she has a place at home, only to say that she is pregnant. Maybe I am wrong, but it looks like she might be trying to gain sympathies from the family in order to cover up her inability to make a life for herself. She doesn't sound to confident or forthright. Other wise, she would seek out a job, and apartment, and be a little more gutsy about the whole thing. She doesn't, so where does that leave the family and the responsibility of the members? I don't know how old she is, but if she has a twenty year old, then she must be at least in her mid-thirties. I say if she hasn't found the gut-spa to make a life by now, then she may not---ever. Harsh words I know, but somebody has to say them. She may need counseling and really, a whole lot of tough love.
Jesus would want us to be strong and responsible, forthright without being manipulative. I think he would expect us to love another, but when someone asks a question with a shade, or does something but has a hidden agenda, then it gets real complicated quick. If we are not wise enough to see through it and can be assertive, setting boundaries of what we can and can't do, then we are in trouble no matter how spiritual we are. It takes courage to say it as it is. It takes wisdom and a little maturity to use discretion about how to say it. Being assertive, and keeping it real, not matter how difficult it may be, is the best policy. I wish you and your sister well.
2007-10-02 11:33:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know of any biblical standards or verses that this could pertain to, but just let the daughter do what she feels is right. I think going back to this man is a little crazy though. In the end things might work out. I hope that you have a good day.
2007-10-02 06:02:43 · answer #3 · answered by poetry_dreamer2001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course, this always happens when young girls decide to live with boyfriends. They end up divorcing before they are married. She will be an exception if she receives child support from him. Your sister, bless her heart, is reaping what she has sewn. She didn't teach her daughter the ways of the Lord. She taught her the ways of man.
The only thing to do is raise her child by herself and for your sister, she will need to help her. If we don't take care of our own, we are worse than heathens.
2007-10-02 06:00:37 · answer #4 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Colossians 3:13-14 says:" Continue putting up with one another and forgiving one another freely if anyone has a cause for complaint against another. Even as Jehovah freely forgave you, so do you also. But besides all these things,clothe yourselves with love,for it a perfect bond of union.
That was in referance to how fellow Christians should treat each other in the congregation.
Later in that same chapter in verses 18-21 It says: " You wives be in subjection to your husbands,as it is becoming in the Lord.You husbands, keep on loving your wives and do not be bitterly angry with them.You children, be obedient to your parents in everything for this is well pleasing in the Lord.You fathers,do not be exasperating your children,so that they do not become downhearted."
Ephesians 6:1-4 says "Children be obedient to your parents in union with the Lord,for this is righteous: Honor your father and your mother; which is the first command with a promise:" That it may go well with you andyou may endure a long time on the earth." And you, fathers, do not be irritating your children,but go on bringing them up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.
Ephesians 5:28-31 speaks of how husbands should treat their wives loving them as they do their own bodies and in verse 33 of that same chapter says:" Nevertheless,also, let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself;on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.
As for unborn children the Law covenant given to the nation of Israel demanded death for the accidental injury to a pregnant woman if that injury caused the death of her child. Exodus 21:22-25
So God does not condone abortion , if even an accidental injury caused a death to an unborn child.
The principles that we can gleen from the other scriptures show that we need to forgive someone when they have made a mistake such as your neice has. And she as her parents daughter, will as long as she is in their home, need to respect their wishes,unless it conflicts with God's standard and they would want her to get an abortion.
As far as her returning to her abusive boyfriend that should not even be considered. It would jeapardize her health and the baby.
1 Corinthians13:4-8 says: " Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous,it does not brag,does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for it's own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
They as a family should decide how to best cope with the arrival of a new addition. This may be what gives your neice the strength to put her priorities in order. Her love for that baby will surpass the feelings she has for her ex. Her wanting to protect it from harm will help her to make better choices.
Hope this helps.
2007-10-02 06:36:20 · answer #5 · answered by tirshatha2001 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the offending person is a Christian, or professing one, they need be counseled in love in an attempt to restore them. If they are non-believing, they may be instructed as a friend.
In either case, they will ultimately have to suffer the consequences of their bad choices. That is the way God chose to deal with the sin problem. Many are called, but few are chosen.
We must be prepared to meet opposition yet maintain a trueness to God as the needle is to the N pole. And if you obtain Heaven alone, so be it.
The timing of God's cosmic conflict, as well as remedy is revealed in a Bible code. see http://abiblecode.tripod.com
Shalom, peace in Jesus, Ben Yeshua
2007-10-02 05:19:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Blood is blood.
Your sister needs to support her daughter in any way she can emotionally while steering her away from the man. Babies have no need to be raised in that sort of enviornment. Women raise kids alone every day.
2007-10-02 05:16:49 · answer #7 · answered by ~Heathen Princess~ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt must be married. The priest went to seminary for min. of 8 yrs to income a regularly occurring information of what's family contributors existence. the advice is of non secular and ethical, for the sake of human dignity. study the Theology of the physique, the sanctity of our physique
2016-10-05 23:24:51 · answer #8 · answered by richberg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Words of wisdpm....Let It Be.
2007-10-02 05:18:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋