My daughter keeps blaming me for her not getting good grades or being prepared for tests. She is 15 and in 11th grade. Her GPA is about 2.9.
She lived with her father from age 10 to 15. She just came to live with me in another state and has had to adjust to a new school, etc.
She keeps saying to me "Thanks for making me fail." I do help her study and make tests/ quizzes for her and ask her questions from her school subjects.
I don't know how responsible I am though for her grades. I am trying my best, but I am only one person. I know that if my ex-husband was with me, he would blame for all of her failures.
My daughter keeps saying, "I am going to fail" and I don't know how to react to this.
2007-10-02 05:03:36 · 11 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Get her some tutoring. Maybe set up a meeting with her teacher you so that things can get talked out in case something is going on she's not telling you. In any case, you do not bear all responsibility for her failing. It's tough for her to move away from her friends and into a new school so she may just be lashing out.
See if she can get involved with some school activities to make new friends which should help to ease her.
2007-10-02 05:11:22 · answer #1 · answered by Dude 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not at all responsible for your daughters' grades in school. If she is unprepared for a test it's because she didn't study enough. She's probably upset about having to move to a new house, new school, etc. She shouldn't be taking her frustrations out on you, but that sounds like what she is doing. If she's failing, it's no ones fault but her own.
I would recommend counseling for her. She obviously seems to be having issues and is blaming you for them. She'll probably get even more upset about going to a counselor, but in the end, they will probably help her.
At fifteen your daughter should be able to pass or fail a class on her own merit. I don't even know how she could justify blaming you, it's not like you are doing her homework for her and taking her tests.
2007-10-02 12:55:46 · answer #2 · answered by silverarrow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your daughter that no one is "making" her fail except herself. If she is having trouble keeping up, it's *her* responsibility to talk to teachers after class, or put in extra time to get her work done. No way are you responsible for her schoolwork at 15 years old.
Next time she tells you that, inform her that you are always available for questions and you'll help her study to the best of your ability, but that she is responsible for her grades, not you. Then offer to help her find a tutor if she is struggling. And if she is going out all the time instead of getting her work done, warn her that you can revoke those privileges and treat her like a child if she can't learn to budget enough time for schoolwork into her schedule.
You can say this in a nice way in a calm discussion, of course.
2007-10-02 12:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by Mia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you child is spoiled and she needs to act her age. its no ones fault but her own if she doesn't study. and don't you for one second let her get to you. and I'm just wondering who's the parent in this relationship. with a teen it can be hard but this is just insane. it seems you ex has probably been badmouthing you the whole time she lived with you. which makes him a weak minded evil spirited person. i know for a fact that having a super rebellious child can wreck havoc on a mothers self esteem. but there are 2 things you need to do and 1 thing you need to keep in mind... 1 never back down, 2 never give up on her because it will prove that her ranting was right and three...its not your fault. don't feel guilty. none is supermom its not you fault
2007-10-02 12:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by deux 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you find a good counselor for your daughter to see as she doesn't think well of herself, doesn't think she is capable of doing well, and won't take responsibility for what she does. Something is not right with her and she needs to deal with it - it's not all about her school work. A 2.9 grade average is good - now get her to counseling so she can have a good life.
Good luck.
2007-10-02 12:15:49 · answer #5 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it is definately not your fault you tried your best to help her succeed in school and no parent would want their child to fail you should talk to your daughter and let her know that you feel it is not your fault that she's failing and that it hurts you for her to blame you for something you didn't do and a 2.9 GPA is actually pretty good!
2007-10-02 12:08:59 · answer #6 · answered by Ms.Carter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take that BS from your daughter. She's taking away blame from herself and passing it on to you and you are taking the bait. If you truly work with her, then she needs to own up to the fact that maybe she's not trying as hard as she thinks she is. She needs to learn to take responsibilities for her own actions...she's old enough to learn that now.
2007-10-02 12:09:45 · answer #7 · answered by CC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because "she is going to fail" doesn't mean you have failed as a mother. Sounds like she is playing her dad against you. You didn't say why she is living with you now.
2007-10-02 12:08:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her failing is not your fault. You are doing every thing that you can. Sounds like she doesn't have much self esteem. I think you need to take her to a counsellor.
2007-10-02 12:22:40 · answer #9 · answered by Air Guitar Goddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she is taking hints from dad, in blaming you.
Tell her to grow-up. You can't force her to concentrate and take things seriously anymore than she can force you take the blame.
2007-10-02 12:14:32 · answer #10 · answered by Kellyn25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋