Me and my boyfriend have been on-off for 2 and a half yrs now and we've had problems but we love each other and we get through it. Lately i have felt like we are falling out of love and then he tells me that...what does it mean and what can i do?
2007-10-02 04:10:46 · 55 answers · asked by Saray 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wow, talk about warning signs!
Yikes!
Well clearly he cares about you but perhaps the spark is gone...after a few years the honeymoon phase tends to fade out because you just become so comfortable with each other.
Try to do things together that you both enjoy, things that you used to do 'back in the day', things that really let you know that the spark was there. Do something romantic together.
All is not lost, it just requires a new approach to your relationship.
2007-10-02 04:15:48 · answer #1 · answered by JD 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well it means he still cares for you but is not in love in the sense that his whole world revolves around you. I think it natural for the halo effect to wear off in time in each relationship.
Being in love all the time is not a necessity. If it were everyone would be divorced by now. What is more important is whether or not you have made a commitment together and will continue to strive to work things out weather they are good times, bad times, or anywhere in-between times.
Whatever the case it is possible to do something on your part. But if he has not made that choice within his being to stick it out with you no matter what, then I'm afraid there is nothing more you can do but be receptive to the moment in which he might decide to commit.
If he however is not in that frame of mind and heart you might have to let him go. If not you could find yourself in desperate position in which you will suffer more and potentially be abused.
A lot of this depends on how old you are. If you both are really young like 18 then it usually spells the beginning of the end.
However if you are in your mid to late twenties onward then its time to chose someone you get along with (underneath it all you are good friends) and settle down.
If both peoples are receptive to the idea then being in love will come as well as go from time to time. The key is not to freak out when you or he is not feeling it. Just relax and let time do its thing. It will swing back around again.
Try to convey these ideas to him and see what his reaction is. If he really wants out there is nothing you can do except let him see what he is missing.
If he is mixed allow him time to process this new information and it possibly may all work out depending on how mature you both are.
Best case scenario is he'll totally get it and be on board off the bat.
Let's hope for the best while being prepared for anything.
2007-10-02 04:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by Love of Truth 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It means the relationship has become stale and predictable. It sounds like you are not so much in love with him either.
What to do depends on what you want.
If you are simply getting bored with each other, but don't really need to be 'in love,' then advice on how to 'spice up' a relationship might work, along with finding interesting things to do either together or separately. Then you will have something new to talk about.
If you want him to be in love with you and/or he wants to be in love with someone--it just isn't you--then you probably need to give him, and yourself, more space.
People tend to be in love when they are not quite sure of the other person, when they have to pursue them a bit. If you are always there, are clinging and dependent, and allow yourself to be taken for granted, very likely the other party will become more secure, then more distant.
Either way, you need to 'get a life.' Put more energy into other things: creative work, friends and family. If it is ending, this will help you. If not, both your lives will be enriched.
2007-10-02 04:37:56 · answer #3 · answered by silverscreen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow in the last 8 minutes you have 45 answers. Not to "pile on" but he probably has someone else in the waiting room ready to pounce on. My ex husband of 15 years gave me that line. He was distant, missing a lot, wearing after shave, more concerned about his appearance. Finally he said "I love you but I'm not IN love with you". Talk about a crock of s -- t. Hey guess what he was having an affair and got her pregnant and left me and our 10 month old daughter (which was the best thing that could have happened). You MUST read the book "he's just not that into you" and get rid of the loser. It'll hurt you for a while and you'll be blue, but this is a dead end. Take it from some one who has been there.
2007-10-02 04:25:04 · answer #4 · answered by speed7chi 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Run!!! There are so many fish out in the sea that you need to know the right one is out there for you. Most the time when they say they love you but are not inlove with you that means that they are having an affair with someone else. You deserve much better and I know that its hard sometimes, but you will be just fine. We are very strong us women and we need to let those kind of men that we dont need them and will be fine without them. Go out and explore all your options you might really like what you find
2007-10-02 04:49:43 · answer #5 · answered by jenniferk5683 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It means "I care about you, but I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with you." Either the two of you are going to have to find a way to get through it again by figuring out what's caused him to feel that way and how you can both work through the issues, or you might need to decide there just isn't going to be a happy ending for you as a couple and figure out whether you want to try and salvage a friendship.
2007-10-02 04:17:59 · answer #6 · answered by MM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In simple terms it means it's over. He likes you very much as a friend, but romantically it has fizzled out for him. Time to move on, and though remaining friends would be nice; it may be too hard. Anyway if it's been off and on for two and a half years, you should obviously realise it's time to get a life and not remain stagnating.
2007-10-02 04:20:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ou need to know the right one is out there for you. Most the time when they say they love you but are not inlove with you that means that they are having an affair with someone else. You deserve much better and I know that its hard sometimes, but you will be just fine. We are very strong us women and we need to let those kind of men that we dont need them and will be fine without them. Go out and explore all your options you might really like what you find
2014-09-24 03:52:22 · answer #8 · answered by ami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, I love you, but, if Charlie Therzon gives a nod, I am outta here. It's like being , "you'll due till someone better comes around". That boy needs to get his head on straight. He takes you so for granted he isn't the least bit concerned of having romantic moments on a regular basis. I love my sister, but, I am not in love with her.
2007-10-02 04:18:16 · answer #9 · answered by make room for daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can do nothing except prepare yourself to move on. You can only ask for honesty and that is what he delivered. He loves you...like you love your pals, family etc. He is not in love with you anymore which means he has closed off his emotional self. He wants to start seeking out others and he will. It hurts but you can get through this and finally start to move on and someday find a relationship that is better suited for you. Good Luck.
p.s. know that if he still has sex with you...it is because he enjoys it and can still get it. Do not fool yourself. Move on to somebody who will be "in love" with you.
2007-10-02 04:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by yowhatsup2day 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋