Why do people go to a Catholic Priest for marriage advice?

Question

Isn't this like going to a 350 pounder for diet advice?

None of them have any wives or successful relationships with women, so why don't they just admit they are not the best person to come to for this advice. How can they possibly expect to have any moral authority on how all the dynamics of a marriage relationship works?

Answer 1

Do you go to a doctor because he is the picture of health? Of course not, you go to a doctor because he went to school and has access to knowledge you do not.

Priests should not be marriage counselors but asking a priest what you should do to make your marriage more spiritual is totally appropriate.

Answer 2

Should you go to an oncologist who has never had cancer? Should you to to a dentist who has never had a root canal? Should you go to college and learn from professors who have never done anything but teach the subject matter (no practical experience)? Should you go to a psychiatrist who has never suffered from depression? Should you get credit counseling advice from somebody who has never owned a credit card? The fact of the matter is, we frequently get help from professionals who have no personal experience in what we are going through. We trust them, because they have been educated about the topic. Priests are given very thorough training on marriage because it is one of the Sacraments of the Catholic Church. One more question: Should you marry somebody who has never been married before? How would you ever know that they knew how to be married? Of course, the engaged couple can know what they want in a spouse by observing other marriages, by dating, and that sort of thing. The same thing goes for priests. They observed marriages (their own parents and other relatives, friends, etc.). Most if not all of them dated prior to joining the seminary. Some were even engaged at one point. A small number of them didn't go to seminary until they were widowed. And then there is all that seminary training. Priests are almost always more well-versed on marriage than the engaged couples who go to them for counseling.

Answer 3

To answer your question, one does not need to receive the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony in order to be an expert of the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony.

It sounds as if you are not a Catholic. And yet, you pontificate as if you are an expert on Catholicism. Given the likelihood of you not being Catholic, from where do you derive the moral moral authority to question Catholics? How can you possibly be expected to possess a working knowledge in the dynamics of Catholic Dogma unless you are a Catholic. Right?

Answer 4

Well, some of us are married but I know what you are saying. the fact is that we learn not only by experiencing things personally but also by observing. While someone who has never been married may not have experienced the same feelings of rejection or betrayal from a spouse, these experiences are not that much different from betrayal and rejection by friends or relatives. We all know these things hurt and can help others get past the hurt through calling on sometimes different but related experience for empathy.

In Christ
Fr. Joseph

Answer 5

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Wel, if we can get past all of the Catholic-hating rhetoric, and then get past all of the priest-hating rhetoric, maybe we can get a clear-eyed response to your question.

First of all, priests are not born as priests. They become priests after having lived a life like anyone else's. They probably went out on dates. They probably had long-term relationships. And on top of all that, it is possible to know something about marriage without being married yourself, or without even being all that successful at it. Are you saying that if a psychologist works as a marriage counselor but, in her personal life, gets a divorce, she is no longer "eligible" to give marriage advice to others?

Second, priests are trained in how to deal with people. If we ignore the 2% who have been identified as pedophiles (the same percentage that exists in the overall population, from statistics I've seen) the other 98% know something about how people should interact with one another. This would, I believe, be a valid prerequisite for helping people with marital issues.

Third, Catholic priests are in the forgiveness business. While the problems that bring a couple to their priest may seem insurmountable to that couple, the priest may be able to guide them to a place where they can deal with each other again and save their marriage. This is, after all, the goal in going to someone with your marital problems, right?

I'm sure that there are married couples out there who got bad marriage advice from a priest. Just like there are people who got bad financial advice from a financial planner, and people who got bad career advice from a career counselor and people who got bad haircuts from a licensed cosmetologist. There are good and bad in every profession. You have to know who you're dealing with and what their qualifications are. And although this may be hard for all the Catholic-bashers of the world to understand, the vast, overwhelming majority of us TRUST our priests and would go to them for advice, just like a trusted family member or friend.

That doesn't seem like such an outlandish thing to me.
.

Answer 6

Our beloved priest go through the same things as we would go through as married persons
Their bride is the church and you can be sure they struggle back and forth as we would with our wives, this is normal. God often leads us to struggle for there is merit in that struggle.
They are also but not necessarily higher astute in the ways of our lord concerning Holy Matrimony

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Since a priest has dedicated himself to God, he is supposed to be morally pure. Going to a priest whom you know and trust for marriage advice is not so ridiculous as you might think. The priest has no ulterior motive, and will give unbiased advice.

Answer 9

I think that is a great question. I suppose people think that they are "closer" to God so they have more insight I think that they are just naive and deceived to think that a priest is of moral authority especially in that area

Answer 10

Very true. Of course, biblically you shouldn't trust a catholic priest about anything, since they are false prophets with a false gospel that leads to eternal hell.