How to explain death to a young child?

Question

I have a good friend whose mom was turned over into Hospice care yesterday. She's in the last stages of pancreatic cancer & was told it can be anywhere from 2 to 4 weeks. Being a mom & a Nana I know how to sit & talk to the little ones on this matter. But does anyone know of a good book designed for kids explaining death? This little boy is only 5yrs. old.

Answer 1

When talking about death with a child, parents should explain that death means that life stops, the deceased cannot return, and the body is buried. They should also explain their religious beliefs concerning these matters. Anything less simple and explicit often causes confusion and misinterpretation. Covering death over with fiction or half-truths may increase children's fears in the future and lead to mistrust of family members. However, children's fears may be lessened when the death discussion is focused not on morbid details but on the beauty of life.

You might want to try these,

Blow Me A Kiss, Miss Lilly
by Nancy White Carlstrom,

Come Back, Grandma
by Sue Limb

Badger's Parting Gifts
by Susan Varley

the three are recommended for children between 3-6.

Answer 2

If the child is asking questions, (s)he's old enough, just remember that some of the concepts will still be beyond them.

Just keep in mind that going all flowery with concepts of heaven and things like that can backfire. Some children becomes obsessed to the point that they think they can go to heaven to visit and then come back. This has lead to some very young children "accidentally" committing suicide. Admittedly, this last bit is *obscenely* rare, but children do obsess over some odd things.

If you are religeous, simplify the explanation by telling the child that his Gramma is leaving on a long trip. After the funeral (and after the marker is up), take the child out to the grave and explain that as long as he loves her, and remembers her, she will be part of him, but that she can't be there for him anymore, but if he wants, you can make a family trip to visit her memorial every so often when he feels the need to reconnect with her.

An alternative explanation is always the hokey explanation that everyone is on Earth for as long as they need to be, and once they have acheived everyting that they have to acheive in their life, they pass-on. This one works well for many children.

If it helps, below is a google search on "How to explain death to a child?"

Answer 3

here are some novels to think about:
1. Anderson, L.C. It's O.K. to Cry. Chicago: Children's Press, 1979. (SA) A four year old boy tries to tell his five year old brother that their favorite uncle is dead. In the second part of the book there are questions and answers that relate to the story and to the general topic of death.
2. e Paola, T. Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs. New York: Putnam, 1973. (PS/SA) A small boy's loving rituals with his great grandmother are terminated suddenly by her death. He experiences the emptiness and later accepts the fantasy that she is "upstairs" with the stars.

Answer 4

Do you see the plants wither? The sun goes up and we get sunshine and light, the night covers us for rest. Why do we get asleep and wakes up beyond our will? Every living things young and old have their destiny. Even if we hide inside the strongest castle, death is inevitable. Our life is only on probation here on earth, we came from our Creator, we this world, and we go back to Him for evaluation (Judgment) in the Last Day.

Answer 5

when he asks where she is explain to him about heaven. let him know that she's in a good place right now. everybody wants to be there and one day he will too. you can't see her, she's invisible but she's watching everything everyone does.

Answer 6

simply put, its like going to sleep without waking up.