For over 10 years my aunt and uncle are always inviting themselves to stay overnight at our house when they are in town. My parents are being nice but now they have begun to feel they are being taken advantage of. This couple visit our town on average 4 to 5 times a year. They have at least 10 other relatives they can stay with including their own adult children, but they prefer not to go to the other homes. The problem has gotten worse because now whenever there is any wedding or death in their distant family, they come to our house and now invite other relatives to stay at our house as well without asking my parents if it is okay. They also invite people over to socialize in our home and want my mom to help cook and clean with them for the other guests too. I try to help but I am a busy teen and my mom has my little brother and sister to deal with too. I once saw my mom crying one day that it was just too much to handle. They stay 3 to 7 days each visit. PLEASE HELP!
2007-10-02 03:39:27 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your parents are definitely being taken advantage of and only your parents can put a stop to this. Unfortunately, I have a feeling somebody's feelings are going to be hurt. This should not have been allowed to go on this long. However, since it has . . .
I would sit down right now, in between visits hopefully, and write them a letter explaining that their frequent visits disrupts the household and that, while they are loved, that the free ride stops here and now! Since these people have grown children living in the area I would suggest that they see about staying with them. Tell them they (your parents) can no longer afford to put them and their friends and other relatives up indefinitely and that they would love to meet them somewhere for lunch or dinner as long as everybody could go Dutch. Make it plain this should be in a restaurant and not at the home of your parents!
If their feelings get hurt to the point of them never coming for another visit--so what? Your parents have been more than generous for way too long and these moochers must realize it and just go on and on continuing to taking advantage of them. Somebody HAS to put a stop to it or it will go on forever.
You might want to try composing the letter if they have a problem with writing something like this. It might at least give them some suggestions as to what to say. It can be done nicely, but don't be surprised if these freeloaders get angry. Most people do when free room and board is taken away.
Good luck!
2007-10-02 04:44:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I have unwelcomed guest I simply say what a surprize Let me help you get a nice hotel reservation My children have such busy schedules It would be ashame to disrupt your visit with our schedules I have a really busy schedule this week Would you like that reservation with or without a pool Oh there are ones with kitchenet so you can get you own groceries and cook I then call and book I do not feel any guilt Well after the first time any way When I come home wich is rare I stay at my brothers house While they are at work I cook clean vacum do laundry At first my sister in law was annoyed Then once she got used to me she loves to see me come I visit for one week maybe every 2 years I buy groceries and everything
2007-10-02 04:09:39 · answer #2 · answered by chameleon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Mom has to talk with the relatives that the Couple DOESN'T STAY WITH WHILE IN TOWN, and see if they can give the hint to the couple. Write a Long letter before the next visit, or they pop up, then she needs to Cry in front of them and THEN TELL THEM WHY!! Family is a Blessing, but then some of them take quiet and kindness for weakness. Time to stop being so Kind as well as Time to Speak Up!! Give your Mom A Big Hug for me!!
2007-10-02 03:50:17 · answer #3 · answered by Dub-G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! It is never too late to fix something. Your parents have to call them immediately (before the next visit). These relatives obviously are users. Your mom has to firmly tell them that they are no longer able to accommodate their visits. Your family is much too busy and every free moment is dedicated to being with ONLY each other! I am sure they would not hesitate in laying down the law, if it were the other way around. Your parents must demand that your family's request for personal respect be upheld, no matter what. Enough is enough! You are a good daughter to care about your family first. That is the way it should be.
2007-10-02 04:30:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This should have been nipped in the bud a long time ago. Next time an event comes up, before they even enter your town (When they call to tell you about the event)your mother or father (which ever parent is related to them) needs to explain that, due to all the excitement, there is just too much going on for your family to have house guests now. Tell them that you'd be happy to book them a hotel room (at their expense) if they don't want to stay with other family, but it will just be impossible for your family to have company at this time. Promise to meet them for breakfast and invite them to dinner.
If Mom/Dad can't be that forth right, they should tell them that they are welcome to stay one night, but that you do not have the room or time for guests for more than one night.
If your realtives get too upset, pay no mind - they're users and just upset that the free room and maid service is gone!
2007-10-02 03:56:04 · answer #5 · answered by lisa w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't anything you can do about this situation, its not your home and you are not an adult. However, you could tell your father that you saw your mother crying about how overwhelming it is, and you are concerned. Its up to your parents to get a backbone and tell these folks that there is no more room at the inn.
2007-10-02 03:57:21 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You Mom needs to speak up. She can say she isn't feeling up to par and just can't take on company at this time. She should have "scheduled appointments" (made up) that allow her to get out of the house for several hours when they are there. Saying she isn't up to it is the truth...she isn't. She needs to protect herself.
2007-10-02 04:16:00 · answer #7 · answered by red 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your parents need to talk to your aunt and uncle abou this. They need to set some ground rules, such as your aunt and uncle asking before they come over. Get her to tell them how upset they are about it.
2007-10-02 03:48:46 · answer #8 · answered by gr_bateman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak up-day no. Your house is a private place for you and only you to enjoy. NO explanations needed. So rude of them.
2015-12-27 15:39:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to them & tell them you don'y have any able rooms in your house any more
or tell them you got other guests & can't let them stay
if they're smart people they should know & never come back
2007-10-02 03:55:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋