11 Year Olds And Myspace?

Question

Today,As i was typing
www.Yahoo.com In,
I saw
www.myspace.com/ADriAnNa&AlYsSa.
It was typed like that,I clicked it,My Daughters Pictures were up there with a MINI SKIRT
and a Bra.
They said they're 14 years old,Live in Nevada.
We live in Nevada.
They are putting WAY to much personal stuff.
E-mail,Aim etc.
How can i talk to them without them getting upset?
Should i punish them?
Take they're computer away?

No Offense.
My Children,Ages 11 and 4 (both twins,4 and 11 yr olds) have computers in their own room because everyone loves the computer and they all want to go on.
My daughter has one.
My other daughter does.
My 2 4 yr olds haveone.

Don't Judge me because i give them what they want.I always got told the word no,and i dont want to see them up-set.

Answer 1

You need to have a frank and open discussion with them IMMEDIATELY. Tell them that you weren't snooping or even looking for it, but you did happen to find the website on the computer and were surprised by what you found.

This is a good time to let them know that the "don't go with strangers" idea they learned as toddlers applies to the internet, too. They are growing up and they need to be VERY aware of the dangers that could await them if they are not careful.

Answer 2

MySpace is a big issue these days. Kids think that they're invincible online and figure that the bad guy isn't going to get them, bad things always happen to someone else.

First thing. Punishment. The computer, unless it's being used for schoolwork is out of the question. For a while. It's their safety we're talking about here and you can't be too careful.

Second. Move the computer to whereever in the house everyone is in the most. NO child should ever have a computer in their own bedroom. I don't like the idea of separate computer rooms either. It may not be as esthetically pleasing, but the computer should be in the living room so you can monitor what your kids are doing on there. Keep in mind, at that age they do need some privacy, don't just be reading every message the send on MSN but that way you can see at a glance what site they're on, if they're downloading or uploading pictures etc.

Third. I don't think MySpace is a horrible place. It's a fun site to hang out on and relatively safe but youmust set boundaries. Either set up your own MySpace profile and make your children add you as a friend or get their password from them. This way, you can keep an eye on what they are posting. Also make sure your kids set their profiles to private. This way, only people on their 'friends' list will be able to see their profile.

Lastly, sit down with your kids and have a good talk about internet safety. The internet is a great tool and a lot of fun bt can cause serious problems as well. It's probably not a bad idea to have this talk with you kids every 6 months or so. They'll get bored and be like "come on, dad" but at least you'll show to them that you think this is very serious and you are not going to let down your guard.

Having internet access potentially lets millions of strangers into your home everyday. Do the same things you would do at home, lock your doors, windows and set the alarm. You can't be too careful when it comes to your childrens safety.

Answer 3

i understand myspace is what drives youngsters right this moment. They require that a toddler be a minimum of 14. there's a clarification for that. content cloth is evidently a important reason. they do no longer desire 11 year olds being subjected to that content cloth. Secondly, there are a large form of predators on myspace posing as different youngsters. that is hard adequate to coach an adolescent the thank you to administration a myspace acount precise and wisely. that is close to impossible for an 11 year old to appreciate secure practices etc. In theory I see no longer something incorrect with Myspace yet in fact it is not something greater effective than a drama crammed sounding board. youngsters viciously attack different youngsters, unfold rumors and gossip and all too normally make the recipient a sufferer. Even some erroneous mum and dad use it to get inspite of youngsters. the only way i might enable an 11 year old get entry to is thru direct supervision. i might somewhat like for myspace to close down thoroughly. What it replaced into meant to be and what it has grow to be are 2 countless issues. unhappy yet genuine. There are lots of layouts available by using doing a myspace format seek on line. you will locate many greater effective than those reported right here.

Answer 4

You need to learn about myspace. Get your own account and learn how to do everything. (I'm on the friends list of not only my son but his friends as well)Tell your daughter that she can have an account BUT...put the following rules in place. I've been using these rules and things have been fine.

Only friends from school can be on their friends list
All pics must be pre-approved.
The account must be set to "private"
I have the password
I will check it on occasion
Limited personal info (I allow first name only-no e-mail-no aim id.)


Don't worry about them getting upset. You are the parent here. I don't think you should punish, just set new rules in place and see how to goes. Posting a pic in a bra is a little out there and you really need to set rules about that for a NUMBER of reasons. The myspace cat is out of the bag so to speak. This is how our kids are communicating. I'm sure if myspace had been around when I was a teen I would have been right on it too. Just be informed and learn how to use it. It's actually a great tool for seeing what your kids are REALLY up to. Check it a couple times a week and if you see anything you don't like discuss it with your kids. I've learned quite a few interesting things from my sons space and his friends. I feel very informed and know exactly what conversations we need to be having. Good luck!

Answer 5

Sorry .. but I have an 11 year old myself and she has a myspace. You know why she has one though, because I monitor it. I am the one that helped set it up, so that its private and only family and close friends can view it. I monitor every time she gets on the computer. She is not allowed on it if me or her father aren't home.

So that leads to this question, how the heck did they take pics of themselves in mini skirts and bras, post them to a site and you not know about it till now? My husband and my self work over 50 hours a week each all summer and I still knew everything ( or close to it) that my daughter did on the computer. That's what the history button is for. That's what passwords are for.

You don't want them to get upset? Your kidding right? Your more concerned on where they would be upset with you for being ther parent then keeping them not only safe but children?

Take away the computer. Supervise your kids.

Answer 6

My niece did the same thing, she had a picture sexy with her leg on the sink and you could see her panties. I found out they have to say they are 14 otherwise they can not have a myspace account. I would suggest you talk to her and explain what a predator does. Dateline does shows on that all the time, There is even a story about a cop who instant messaged with a 11 year old, found out she played softball, the city she lived in the name of her team and school and then followed her home. Luckily he was a cop helping kids, had he been a predator the story would be sadly different, giving kids computers is not bad, not monitoring them and taking responsibilty on the other hand is negligent

Answer 7

Oh deary me, 11 is far too young for myspace. Have an open discussion with her ASAP. Maybe limit her internet time, although I see no way you can stop her using myspace, it can be accessed from anywhere, and banning her would probably cause a backlash anyway.
Have a dialogue with her (as in not a lecture). You really need to instill some values in her such as what is appropriate and not apprioriate of yourself to show in public. That's if you share my opinion that pictures of yourself in a bra and a mini skirt would classify often as porn. I'm not pointing the finger necessarily at you, but you really have to make sure you and your wife put across a positive message for her.
Last, but importantly, it's possible for her to make her myspace setting private, so that only her friends list can view her myspace (which is basically what myspace is about). If she refuses to do that when you ask, there's a chance she's using myspace for something different, in which case you've got a much bigger problem on your hands....

Answer 8

Punish is a strong word. Your kids are young and they are naturally easily influenced hence, putting too personal stuff online unaware of how unsafe they are, uploading too showy pictures. You cannot control what kids do over the internet and there is A LOT. Espcially in networking sites like MySpace among many others, I have to say many people puts up worse things than pictures of them in minis and bras and to the youth it may seem like it is their way to fit in and feel good about themselves because there are perverts who encourage such things. It does calls for a father figure more on the firm and disciplinary side. Taking their computer away seems too huge because they also use that for other things such as school stuff, maybe you can limit the time they spend on it and talk to them how serious the situation is. I think it is better to overact on this than to take it lightly and say it is just what kids do nowadays because 14 year olds aren't supposed to be made feel good enough to put pictures like that online by people whom they call friends. I hope this helps. Good luck!

Answer 9

Talk to them without getting them upset? Are you mad? I would hope that, by the time I got through with them, they would be VERY upset. Absolutely, take that computer away. You better start keeping a very close check on what else they are doing, too. Look, parents today are way too concerned with whether their kids "like" them or not. You are their parent, they are not supposed to like you. They are supposed to respect you, mind you, and even be a little afraid of what you will do if they do something they shouldn't. These little girls of yours could end up a statistic in a newspaper article if you don't take a firm hand now. Block myspace on your computer. Aren't you supposed to be 14 to use it, anyway? Just a thought.

Answer 10

You don't want them upset. Ok, then just keep letting them do how they do. Of course, when you have some forty year old pervert picking them up after school try not to be upset either.

Christ you don't want to upset them? ARE YOU A FATHER OR A FRIEND? Bras and mini skirts, hey that's great, for a pedophile.

Good luck buddy, you're really going to need it. I hope you like the word grandpa, shouldn't be too long now. Or maybe it will be the letters STD. Which ever, good luck to you. I feel sorry for your kids. They are going to get hurt one day. Good job Dad!