Its a long story but my dad was abusive to my mom while I was growing up and was in jail until I was 5. He would beat her very badly. He never hit me and pretty much gave me everything I wanted when he was around. He is the total definition of a sociopath and thinks he was the father of the year and cannot acknowledge all the pain he put our family through not to mention the emarrassment of having the police at our house every night when I was a child. I am now 34 and dont bother with him much as he lives out of state. He calls and asks for money and says he is being evicted and having open heart surgery (its a lie). I don't understand why he would think that I would want anything to do with him. All he does is call me up and yell at me for not calling. Not sure what is going through his head?
2007-10-02 03:02:50 · 10 answers · asked by L 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He will not acknowledge any wrong doing!! He is delusional in his own mind and has made himself into a saint. I do not answer his calls but then he gives me the guilt trip!
2007-10-02 03:20:39 · update #1
You can, and I think should, stick to limits to the behavior you are willing to endure from your dad. You do not have to listen to him yell at you. You do not have to take him at his word when he calls asking for money. It looks to me like he is still controlling and angry.....not a very safe combination.
"I don't understand why he would think that I would want anything to do with him. All he does is call me up and yell at me for not calling. Not sure what is going through his head?"
I do not think he is thinking of what you want.
It must be hard not to feel some compassion for your dad. Only you can decide what is safe for you to do, what you are willing to give to him; your time, your attention, help of any kind, or nothing at all. I just wouldn't expect him to respond lovingly to anything you do or don't do.
2007-10-02 03:51:55 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He sounds like my ex husband he would avoid child support When I made him leave he left me with the furniture nice guy right two days later it was all repossed I had 2 children one 14 months and one three weeks old He could have cared less once i kicked him outThere i was 3 bedroom apartment and two baby cribs The repo guy had a heart After that the only time you saw the man was if he wanted money He never called Same with his older son We all cut him off from everything We give him no money we limit where he can go when he is in the house At the dineing room table no where else He refused to give finacial support emotional suport he refused to be any kind of father We do not worry about him any more We have gone half way tried to get him involved in a respectable way But he remains a con artist I believe when he dies and his life flashes before him he will be haunted by the lack of care he gave for his children If my believe is right he must feel and see the hurt and pain he has caused and he must look at it and face it He must learn the hard way tough love child style
2007-10-02 10:29:49 · answer #2 · answered by chameleon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm truly sorry to read what you and your mom went through, due you dad. Imo, since your dad never really understood the value of a loving family, perhaps you should treat him with the same respect, that being, no respect at all.
It also seems his only reason to call you is to get money or whatever else he can weasel from you.
You have every right to disown him and not talk to him. He needs to know that what he did years ago has left emotional scars that may never heal. He should also know that his treatment of your mom was beyond inexcusable.
I truly wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do about your dad.
2007-10-02 10:12:30 · answer #3 · answered by deiracefan_219 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just sounds very selfish and messed up. You seem to know there is nothing you can do so you are doing the right thing. Life your own life the best you possible can. Forgive him as a sick person so you don't live with hate in your heart and keep him at a distance.
Good luck.
2007-10-02 10:09:13 · answer #4 · answered by girlnextdoor409 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a sociopath, how are you going to ever know what's going through his head? If you are expecting him to apologize, he won't.
Have you ever told this stuff to your dad? You should be asking him these questions and telling him how you feel. Tell him you don't want to have him in your life, if you don't. Then stop answering the phone.
2007-10-02 10:13:47 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't bother' keep him in another state. Report him to the police.He was abusive to your mom now he trying the same thing with you.He got more problems than you can handle.Don't listen to him hang up or get caller id, and don,t answer. I went threw the same thing with my dad for 25 years nothing but lies . I tried to forgive him for what he did to my mother, But I never could get out what I had seen and heard.Get him out of your life. Its hard to do
2007-10-02 10:20:40 · answer #6 · answered by gggggg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's calling out to you for help. If you don't want to give it to him then don't, that's your choice (since he's asking for money). He didn't abuse you as a child but he still hurt you & I dont think that he understands that. Explain to him why your upset & why you wont give him the money or he probably wont go away.
2007-10-02 10:08:06 · answer #7 · answered by sumthing_to_say_12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you have had to go through that and I don't blame you for not awanting to have nothing to with him. You have to think about you and your family especially if you kids.
2007-10-02 10:06:45 · answer #8 · answered by Ima Stressed Out 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least he was trying, but if you feel you don`t want to talk to him, block his number and if he contacts you through the internet, block his e-mail.
2007-10-02 10:07:33 · answer #9 · answered by Sammi♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone and forget about him. You don't need the headaches in your life.
2007-10-02 10:07:29 · answer #10 · answered by casey101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋