How do you get a strong-willed child to try new foods?

Question

My son is 6 and he will eat: pudding, yogurt, chips, fries and bacon. That's it. He drinks tons of milk. I have tried every way I can think of to get him to try new foods and he just won't do it. Short of holding him down and shoving the food in his mouth, which I DON'T do, by the way, there is just no way to get him to try foods. He flatly refuses: gentle requests, bargaining, taking away priveledges, not letting him leave the table until he's tried a bite of food, not giving him anything else to eat (he skipped 2 meals in a row and I just can't send him to school hungry!!!) Lately, he has been very constipated. I told him this is because he won't eat fruits, breads or vegetables and said I wanted him to at least eat apple sauce. I need some advice from parents of strong-willed kids only. If you don't have one, no offense, but you do not know what I'm dealing with here. I have another child who will try new foods. He's not strong-willed. My 6 year old is different.

Answer 1

It does not sound like he is going to starve to death. I had a son that would only eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I told the doctor about it and he laughed and said buy healthy bread and give him a multivitamin. He would get over it. The main thing he warned me about was not letting it become a "power struggle" or a control factor in the relationship. So, every night at dinner, I set a place for everyone else, and at his plate, he got a peanut butter sandwich (and for breakfast and for lunch). And we talked quite casually about what we liked and did not like. Eventually, curiosity won out (and it did not take too long! just a week or two). However, I did not let him fill up on sweet yogurt, pudding and the like. He could have something like that after dinner for dessert just like everyone else. My old family doctor was wise about this one. It really had become a way of control. So, try putting his plate out at every meal so it looks alike - a glass of milk, a slice of bacon, a few fries (and a multivitamin). It is not the healthiest, but it will get old soon. His real entertainment has been the power struggle. The message he will soon get is that winning this kind of fight is not so fun!

Answer 2

I've got to ask - however did you get to this point? None of these are weaning foods! He must have stopped eating properly at some point, and you let him. So it's going to be tough.

I make one meal, and everyone in the family eats it, or they can have bread and butter. Your kid doesn't even eat that, or I'd suggest it. In fact there's pretty much nothing healthy on that list at all. I'd give him the meal and a glass of milk, nothing else, take it or leave it. And yes, he will be hungry. There's no way round it. Why should he bother trying something he may not like if all he has to do is say No and he'll get something he does like? He's constipated and uncomfortable? Fruit will fix it. Tell him he can have fruit or fruit juice, and you are sorry his tummy hurts but that's what he has to do to feel better.

The only thing to do with strong-willed kids is not to fight them directly. Don't ask him to eat, bargain, anything. Just don't give him the option of the junk he's been getting away with eating. If he says he won't eat what you've put in front of him, say "okay" and take it away. Don't say anything else, don't try to persuade him to eat, and certainly don't say "you'll eat it when you're hungry". Do put it somewhere accessible for when he changes his mind. If there is no battle to win, and he's hungry, he'll start trying things.

I would have a word with his teacher too, explain what you are doing. Given how awful his current diet is, I'm sure she'll agree that a few days of going hungry is better than carrying on like this.

Answer 3

Just keep offering the foods you want him to try. Don't make it a huge deal, just put it on his plate. If he doesn't eat it, no biggie. Let him eat with friends or cousins, he might see another kid eating something and want to try it. Don't worry about skipping meals, kids will naturally eat when they're hungry. If he's constipated you might try fruit juice. Keep trying new "fun" foods. If he likes hot dogs, wrap a biscuit around a hot dog and pop it in the oven.If he likes yogurt, let him dip some fruit in it. If he likes bacon, make him a BLT. Honestly, this sounds like it's more about his will than food. You are losing the battle and he knows it. Let him make some of his own food choices and see how things go. Six year olds are branching out and trying to be a little more independent. He knows that food is what is going to push your button. Don't' let it! Relax a little or you're going to really have some major food issues. Let him branch out a tad. Let him make some choices. Good luck :)

Answer 4

Our 1st child was always very picky and would refuse to try anything new. Unfortunately, not being very experienced as parents, we just gave into her and would make her what she wanted. Well, once our 2nd came along, I decided I wouldn't do that anymore. Whatever I was making for dinner was what everyone was eating. I did not make it an issue. I just placed the food on her plate and that was it. Of course as you could imagine, the 1st several times were like a scene out of some horror movie- the screaming, running away from the table, etc... but we just ignored it and told her this is what we are having. Well, once she realized we meant business, she actually started to try things little by little. We always praised her for her attempts. Now, she is 9 and I can happily say she eats everything I make for dinner. I have these tips though-get rid of ALL unhealthy foods in your house- at least until he starts eating better. Next, put very small portions on his plate. Let him help you make dinner, making sure you include at least one veggie, 2 is even better because then he can be given a choice as to which one, (or both!) he would like. 3rd, we made it a rule at our house that you can not say any thing negative about the food. If you don't like it, thats ok but you should not hurt the cook's feelings! Lastly, I tell my kids that its ok if they don't want to eat something, but they can not have anything else after dinner. By giving them a little control, it has worked wonders! All 3 of my little ones eat so well now! Just don't make the food the issue. Sometimes, even though its a negative thing for you son, he is seeing how he is getting all this attention for not cooperating. Trust me- our 1st was the same way! And now dinner is such a joy!

Answer 5

One thing I use instead of the fruits and vegetables is juice. Fruit juice and V-8. I have told my kids you can down a quick glass of V-8 or eat a bowl full, they always opt for the drink, it is much better if it is cold. And just be sure sure the juice is actually 100% juice a lot of them are not.
My aunt says to just stick one at a time, like one green bean along with what they will eat, but they HAVE to eat that one. And then keep it up and slowly up the amount to 2 and so on. That is what she does with the picky eaters at her daycare and now they eat almost all veggies.
The applesauce I give my kids a straw and let them drink it they think that is fun.
I let my kids become picky eaters and it has been a hard road back, but if you do not have the chips, fries or pudding in the house he will have to eat something else. He wont even eat chicken nuggets? or even mac& cheese, not the greatest but a little more variety.
Bottom line is he has learned you will cave, so you have to stand strong, even if he went to school hungry I bet it would only be one time.
My youngest is very strong willed, but I had finally gotten to the point of being tired of her controlling me.
Consistency is key it has to be the same rule every time no matter what with a strong willed chil. Warn once and act, period. Do not yell or argue, simply say I have given you your answer and act. And once he is listening do not back off or you will set yourself back a mile. But get him under control as soon as possible. She had to have surgery and would not drink because she did not want to, we ended up back in the hospital for dehydration. Trust me at that point I wished I had taught her to listen to me simply because I said so. It was horrible to have to get her in trouble and make her cry when she was hurting.
Another thing that motivated me is it simply unhealthy for their growing bodies, I wanted to set a good example to them so they did not end up malnourished or overweight, at some point this type of eating will catch up to them. And my oldest has not been sick as much since we changed their diets.
Another important thing is I make my kids take a vitamin every day, I use Centrum kids.
Good luck and it is a slow process but the sooner you start the better for your son.
And trust me we are far from great and healthy eaters still but a lot better than before. And we are a lot happier the both of us since she has learned to do what I say, because I said so.

Answer 6

My daughter is the same way we practically have to shove it down her throat as well. What we have found works best is to make her try what ever it is we are having then give her what she wants only after trying the food though. This usually works and sometimes she end up liking it. Then sometimes it will not work and she just gets hungry. Also try making the food look fun because much like when you go to a restraunt it is all about presentation. If it looks good it must be good right?

Answer 7

Stop barganing, stop taking things away, stop taking away priveliges that aren't priveliges because if they were he would have had to have EARNED them to begin with. I would stop buying pudding, yougurt, chips, fries and bacon. Also cut out all the milk drinking. That is WHY he is constipated and WHY he won't eat because he fills up on milk. Then put a meal in front of him and if he doesn't eat let him go hungry, without the milk he WILL get hungry and eventually will eat. YOU have to be consistent.

Answer 8

i might not have a child of my body like this, but I've been working with kids as a nanny and care provider and teacher for 15 years. I think that counts for something, since i have seen this sort of thing through to the end before. My own son ive always given new foods to all the time, and he loves anything atleast once.

Dont keep those foods in the house, dont feed them to anyone else in the family. If it means getting rid of everything in the house and shopping one day at a time for a while, do it. Only give him meals that he should be eating. You've made it a battle of wills, and thats where the hardship lies.

This isnt about winning or losing, its about doing what your child needs. At this point, if you have to keep him home from school for a couple of days so as not to send him to school hungry, do it. Give him plenty of food at each meal, let him know there is nothing else to eat, and then let him be.

At some point he will realize that he's hungry enough to eat the meal given to him.

Another tip for strong willed children- Dont give them choices. Asking them what they want, or what to do, or that sort of thing implies that you dont know and are depending on them to lead the situation.

It also helps to sit the child down and explain a little bit about poverty, starvation, and what its like to be ungreatful. There are plenty of books and articals harboring photo's of the less fortunate. Its ugly to be without thanks, and its equally as unpleasant to not like what you have.

Beyond that, he's a child, and he needs to know that. He doesnt eat certain food because you're making him, but because you love him and you have to teach him how to care for his body, and how to be a functional person. Even at 6 he can grasp that concept.

I have been there and I have done this before. It is hard, but the hard part is dealing with yourself, so you can then deal with the child.

Hang in there, endure through the hard part and see it through.

Answer 9

i'm a mom of a sturdy willed new child besides. I incredibly have chanced on that there have been particular issues that i could no longer hit upon a "valid" clarification for wanting her to do different than that is what "I" needed. And on those subjects, my needs did no longer ought to supercede her if she wasn't waiting. For us one in all those such subjects became bedtime/nursing/going to sleep on my own. Up until eventually 22 months she might in basic terms doze off on the breast and then i might flow her to her crib. I had tried previously to get substitute this habit, yet she'd have none of it. She wasn't waiting to be that autonomous and the sole reason i needed her to be so autonomous became for my convenience. Which became somewhat selfish on my section. So...I waited some extra months and we'd try back. finally properly suited around 22 months she gave the impression to be waiting and has primary the transition actual w/ little to no crying. however the biggest became for me to attend until eventually she became waiting. you will possibly no longer have the flexibility to attend. there is very valid motives that she desires to flow to sleep w/o nursing on your loved ones. notwithstanding, if that is in basic terms which you incredibly prefer her to, it particularly is advisable to work out in case you are able to no longer wait some extra months. young ones transition plenty extra actual while they are waiting and if we offer them their time. yet that's no longer consistently achievable. i might additionally propose you to pay close interest to if she starts off to enhance any humorous quirks once you wean her (ie pulling out her hair, scratching herself, etc). some infants are so un-waiting to wean that they deal w/ the trauma of the seperation in very risky techniques (pulling out of hair, scratching self, etc.). stable success. it is so no longer undemanding to have a sturdy-willed new child!

Answer 10

Tell him you don't think he should eat it. ;-)

If he sees you enjoying something and you continually show him that he can't have it, he'll probably want to try it. Wait until he insists.