My brother says I’m dead to him, what should I do?

Question

He is 38 and has 4 step daughters 2 of which I can't stand. One is 29 the other is 24. They started all this crap on Myspace b/c they have way to much time on their hands calling me some pretty nasty things. when I said something to them they involved my brother and he got mad and told my mom he was going to smack me and my sis for starting, my mom simply just told him “look there your sisters’ you don’t need to get in the middle of a girl fight and throw stuff at your sister’s for other people”. A few weeks passed by and everything calmed down, but then I got a call from a friend telling me to check out Myspace. So I did and it was horrible to the point they were talking about my kids. At that point, I called my sister and she got mad and phoned my brother who said he didn’t want to hear it!! Oh! Now he didn’t want to hear it but when I did it, it was a BIG problem with him. My sister always tells me to calm down don’t say anything back but this time she was like f**k those B***h’s do what you gotta do! So long story short I got them back. I know tit for tat!!! But you just had to read the crap they wrote. It was the next day and my sister was at my mom’s well the 24 yrs. Old BF called my sister asking her what was going on, she told him your GF has way to much time on her hands and needs to stop being immature with this Myspace crap! His GF got on the phone and started screaming at my sister and told her to come say it to her face…Well if you knew my sister you would think she wouldn’t go there, but she did and they ended up fighting and the 29 yr old jumped in it as well so they ganged up on my sister. I got there as the fight ended and my sis was already gone but b4 I left I said if you both hit her I’m coming back! Reason being is they are 200 plus lbs and 5’6 in height and my sis is 5’2 and about 125 lbs. However, both of their faces looked crazy and witnesses said my sis got the best of both of them. They called the police but according to them they whooped my sis pretty back. She had one scratch on her neck and it was that bad. When the police came they said “you banged them up pretty bad” She isn’t a fighter at all but if you get her mad enough well she can hold her own. After all of this crap my brother goes on my space and put’s in the 29yr old’s ABOUT ME: Momo because of what happened with Titi today your dead to me, you are no longer my sister!!! I started to cry b/c last year I almost died and him and I weren’t talking at all b/c of them. He came to visit me and apologized for being a jerk. My mom is hurting inside b/c she can’t see her grandkids. How can he write this on the internet??? There are 4 of us 2 girls 2 boys…I’m the youngest so of course my sister is going to back me up b4 them but my own brother says I’m dead to him. My other brother stays neutral and he is the only one that talks to the oldest brother, he won’t even call my mom. It’s been a few months and it’s still up there, what can I do so I won’t hurt so much?

Terry C, not liking what you said but can't balme you for saying it. I have deleted my space page only had it to connect/find old friends. If you knew it all you wouldn't say half the stuff you did. I'm supposed to grow up when they speak about my kids, don't think so those kids are what kept me from doing some damage to those girls. I never once expressed to my Bro that I hated his step daughters, he never knew and I tried many times to be the bigger person i'm no drama queen, far from it! Just need some advice on to how to approach the comment he made. My friends check the myspace and tell me but i have since told them i don't want to know anything that's on there. If you read i wrote its' been months! T.Y>

Answer 1

First off, I'd like to say that I'm so sorry that you and the rest of your family are going thru this MAINLY BECAUSE OF OUTSIDE FOLKS! You all need to realize that when it all comes down to IT, you all will only have EACH OTHER! Just that way you wrote this long detailed letter here in answers, you need to write an even longer, more heart-felt letter to ALL your family members, especially the brother with the problem of letting people that are realitively "strangers" come between him and his Family! How dare He! Let him know in this letter that if it was happening to him, he'd surely would like to have support from His Family and Not wanting them to either take sides with the strangers, nor just be ignored. Also put in the fact about what took place when you almost died and he apologized and admitted that he was a Jerk, and ask him how he'd be feeling Now if you all's sister, or you, yourself, had been seriously hurt or even Killed by those same strangers that he seem to be taking sides with, and see if it'll mean anything to him. And tell him to think about this sceneio..."If it was you all's Mom going thru this type of crap with same or different strangers, Just How Would He Be Reacting"? Would he feel that Mom would be Dead to him as well? I hope that if/when you do this, that it opens his eyes to the fact, that You and your sister being Females parts of you all's family holds almost just as much Juice as Mom and I know he Loves Mom. Have him think about the fact that How's he's going to feel Not If, But When She has to Go to Heaven and Leaves you all? Then he would have to give all the praises to the remaining Females in His Family, if not for Just The Reason that they're His Sisters, but because it's the right thing to do and he should want to as well as the fact that Mom would want him and expect Him To. Try that out and don't fret...I can almost guarantee that he really didn't mean what he said...it was probabl Just The Heat of the Moment!
You all try to get Love Back in your Family. You all will Need one another before too long, and especially if those strangers decide to make things into a Family Fued! Those are some Big Women you described, Oooo-Weee! I'd hate to see the Men in their family and I'm sure You All would, Too! Good Luck!!

Answer 2

Yeah,

Maybe three people in a million are going to read every line of that rambling and almost incomprehensible diatribe.

People betray each other all the time.

There's no way you are "innocent" especially since you admit to "hating' his stepchildren.

Maybe you ought to examine your own behavior and see if you don't owe your brother an apology. Even IF you still think you are blameless, sometimes the better person has to make the first move towards reconciliation.

Or

Just let your brother BE "dead" to you. Don't call him, visit him, read his myspace pages, or have anything to do with him. You can't be offended by what he writes if you never read it. And who else is going to even care what crap he puts on myspace?

Answer 3

If you really want to let your bro know how you feel, and he isn't talking to you, write him a letter. Everything your feeling will come out on that letter and you would have done your part. Seems these girls had it out for you. They probably knew they can get away with anything with your bro, so they disrespected you and your family. Its messed up that your brother is choosing their side, but it just goes to show how he is. I'm sure it hurts like crazy that he is doing this to you, but there isn't much you can do. He is being the immature one and one day he will realize it. Until then, write the letter to him, and just try and live life without thinking of it. He will come around ;) Also pray, thats a good way to ask God to please change your brothers way of thinking so he can rationalize and come to his senses. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I am going to be very direct. Grow up. I mean that in a very serious way. There is not reason why petty (and this is petty) Internet drama should have any effect on your real life. You should take the higher road and be the adult. If they leave nasty messages on your myspace, delete your myspace account. Remove yourself from the situation, and do not react.

The moment you retaliated you became just as bad, guilty, and petty as them. So just take a breath, count to ten, and just chill. Let people bury themselves and if you never retaliate or get angry you will never be at fault.

(I really do wish that you will open yourself up to this advice)

Answer 5

I know how you feel. We live in a very materialistic society and one that "peddles" religion for profit, very often. I can tell you now, those people who are milking your mother of all her money will be dealt with, in God's own time. You are correct about what you said. You can still go to church with her but you do not have to be sucked into putting all your money in the collection plate. I do suggest if you can, that you move out and be the head of your own house. Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman, but it's a shame she doesn't know that Jesus said his yoke is light; not heavy. The church she's attending is milking her of her resources. But don't blame God. I know you don't want to. You just need to know that the church is where we go to worship. Yes, it has bills to pay, but the mission of the church, a good one, is to preach the gospel, not to preach about tithing. As a matter of fact, tithing isn't mentioned in the new testament. Paul said to give as you've purposed in your mind. The Lord loves a cheerful giver, but that doesn't necessarily mean just money in the collection basket. You may know of a needy family who needs money and give your donation to them rather than the collection basket. In the bible, the "seed" is the Word of God. Money is not a seed. This is a perversion of the word to imply you should give money as a seed and implying that's how God measures your love. Don't give up your faith. Study the bible and learn the truth for yourself. Maybe you can show your mom the truth, but usually, family doesn't listen to family. She'll be afraid she's betraying God. But God is not a hard taskmaster. Man is. I'll remember you in prayer and perhaps you can pray for me, too. We are in a spiritual warfare. You are needed to learn the truth and to teach against this false doctrine these preachers are peddling for profit. Jesus said "If you love me, keep my commandments." Not, if you love me, you'll give me every cent you can. Yes, we should give, but there's more than one way to give back to God.

Answer 6

swallow your pride quick i was just crying about my brother a couple hours ago do what you have to do in private and if he doesnt choose to help in making things better then you know you tryed but hes your brother and nothing should come to between that dont regret something later you could try to fix now!!!

Answer 7

It sounds like you have a lot of time on your hands too, to always be checking up on his myspace page...

You kind of started this whole thing because you pointed out you don't like his step daughters...Exactly WHY is that?...There are 2 sides to every story...Maybe they don't like you either...

...and the biggest thing illustrated here is that you and his step daughters are drama queens...Why would you care about what the stepdaughters are doing on myspace?...Its hard to tell which one is the biggest drama queen...All of you need to grow up...

Answer 8

there's the only way to everyone to understand u, with see a counsellor.that is more good than saying a people that don't know anything.

Answer 9

His loss. Move on. If you can't, talk to your doctor about it. Good luck!