I'm friendly, charismatic and calm.
I am 24, and have a 3y/o, 20m/o and 16w/o
They are such well behaved, pleasent little girls.
It's been hard to make friends. My neighborhood wants to keep themselves to themselves. So last year i got my two oldest into our churches Mother's Day Out Program. It's small and humble and they really enjoy going.
But i see i'm getting looked down upon. Yes, i'm young and i'm slender in build, people tend to question if i am the mother of all 3 because i'm peptite and when i say yes, they can get argumentative. I make jokes out of it so not to seem uppity or change the subject quickly and that hasen't worked. I took my 20m/o to MDO last week and smiled at everyone, said hi, how are you and could not believe that i got snubbed by everyone.
If i keep my head down, i get funy looks, i say hi and smile, i get funny looks.
I'm in Texas and this is new compared to the constant friendliness i have seen. I just want a social life again.
More Below......
2007-10-02 01:42:29 · 10 answers · asked by Kat 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I am originally from England and generally when i talk, no matter how slow and pronunciated
i get asked to repeat myself or people look away.
I am quiet voiced, so when i speak up i think i am yelling. But after 6 years of living here, i have learned to tone my accent in a way Texans can understand and
pronounce certain American words the American way so not to be questioned repeatedly.
So i thought that maybe my accent or origin would be putting people off.
I don't know.
I know all this sounds silly but i just don't know how to present myself anymore.
I see other mothers talking to one another and i long to be engaged in adult conversation again
or included in event making.
I offer help and get refused, i dress well and appropriatly, i take care of myself and don't smell.
My teeth are white and nice and my breath is minty lol
so what in the world am i doing wrong for people to not want to talk to me?
How do i get over this and make things better?
2007-10-02 01:43:20 · update #1
I would be your friend if i was in Texas. Not sure what their problem is. Just keep trying but maybe not so hard. They dont like pushy people . Get more involved at church and some thing good will come along.
2007-10-02 01:47:02 · answer #1 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It strikes me that you are in all probability a very pleasant person.
All social groups have a specific culture which is the product of theose who are in it. I think the group you have joined sound rather small minded and not a little silly.
So, I`d suggest joining some other groups in the neighbourhood, perhaps based on a hobby or a sport. Cast your net wider. What about volunteering for a community organisation, such as the Scouts or the Guides.
Don`t ever apologise for yourself- and don`t try to make people like you. People either accept you or they don`t.
Be cheerful- you`ll make some friends eventually.
2007-10-02 02:40:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can really understand your feelings and it is hard.
Try this:
Have a Tupperware party, a Mary Kay party, or an Avon party. Or have all three!
Get involved with a local charity group or activity in which you can share some time with people and give them a chance to get to know you.
Volunteer to help build a Habitat for Humanity home. You will meet many nice people there.
Have a Halloween Party for friends and their children. Have a hunt for some "scary " toys you have hidden around the house. Make cookies in Halloween colors with faces. Buy some pumpkins and magic markers and have the other kids and moms paint faces on them and put them on your neighbors porches.
You are very smart and articulate and nice, so don't be shy about letting people know you and about getting involved.
Good luck and Happy Halloween!
(below are some links for you)
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2007-10-02 02:02:49 · answer #3 · answered by a_phantoms_rose 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When one is trying too hard, it often shows. Just be pleasant and smile. Talk to the Pastor of the Church about how you feel (that you are rejected).
Ask if there is a reason. He should take the responsiblity of introducing you to kinder people. Some Christians, huh? I'm sorry you are having this experience. Guess I'd try another church or gathering. Try volunteering in your community if possible. Don't adjust yourself to them. Mention to the Pastor that these people should not be taking any dislike of you out on your children. They are a snobby group and need to be called on it. If nothing else works, tell them how you feel before you walk out for good.
2007-10-02 03:17:15 · answer #4 · answered by red 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It kind of sounds like your in a smaller town. Probably everyone knows everyone, so you stick out like a sore thumb. You'd think in a church program you'd have at least a few people making extra efforts to be kind to you. My guess is that it will take some time. Just go to the park with the babies and slowly get to know the moms there over time, same with church events. I'd suggest find clubs, classes, groups to join or a community or church based service to volunteer for. Getting to know people while working,studying or learning I think makes spending time with some one you don't know easier since it makes conversation secondary activity which I think tends to be more relaxing. Good luck and don't worry you will find people with whom you'll connect.
2007-10-02 02:02:37 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may not realise this, but things are good for you. You have 3 beautiful children, spend more time with them, keep your house clean for them, save more money for their education instead of spending it on your socialising. You are a mother, you are no longer a single woman, you need to live like one. If the other mothers reject you, why do you want to be their friends? Why not try making friends with older people, ......someone who's your parents' age. They are the ones who need friends, attention and help.
2007-10-02 05:05:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to enunciate and articulate for your own benefit. Those other people are probably jealous because they turned into walruses after they had their kids. It's hard but you kind of have to play cool yourself and let people warm up to you. A person can be too outgoing and this can be annoying. Just be yourself and you'll find out who your real friends are.
2007-10-02 01:47:41 · answer #7 · answered by Officer Uggh 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-05 14:35:19 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, people there are real jerks. Move.
Texas isn't known for it's hospitality to British people.
They are still relieving the independence war.
"We dont take kindly to your kind 'round these parts"
2007-10-02 06:59:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just snobby jerks. I don't think you are doing anything wrong and I'm sorry to hear that people are being rude to you. Please don't get disheartened and give up. Keep trying different groups. You'll find accpeting people somewhere.
2007-10-02 01:50:28 · answer #10 · answered by princess_dnb 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋