and he wants us to get back together but he is in another country and he wants us to move back there i am confused coz i do have strong feelings for the father of my child. Wat shud i do? shud i go back to him or stay in this current relationship? please help
2007-10-02 00:18:03 · 13 answers · asked by Tay E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
love
2007-10-02 00:20:48 · answer #1 · answered by It's All About Tyler 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look at why you broke up in the first place. Are those issues problems still there? Of course you will have some feelings for this man, you loved one another at some point and created a child together. What you have to seperate are the feelings you had for him then and the ones you have for him now. Add to this the fact that you will have to move country to be with him and the effect that could have on both you and your child. do not set any great store in your new relationship as it is early days and could go either way, so I would not let that influence your decision. Nor must you do this simply for the sake of your child, they quickly suss out when things are not right between the parents and this could lead to all sorts of issues in the future. The best advice I can give is to be totally honest with yourself, is getting back with your ex going to make you happy? a better person? make your dreams come true? if you are in any doubt stay put! It is better to be alone with your child for now than to go back into a situation that is not what you really want. Hope it works out for you. x
2007-10-02 07:33:25 · answer #2 · answered by Willow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's natural that you have strong feelings for him because he's the father of your son - but you should think very carefully before suddenly rushing off to another country for the sake of a man you've already fallen out with once before. Whatever caused the first break-up could very likely happen again. Also you are relatively happy in this new relationship and are picking up the pieces of your life. Do you want to take a step backwards? 1) Are you married to the father of your child? 2) If not, why not? 3) Why did you break up in the first place? 4) What are conditions like for women in the country he is in? 5) If you and your son went there, could you BOTH come back if you again weren't happy with the man? 6) Could he get custody of your son in this new country?
If you are dubious about any of the questions, DON'T GO.
2007-10-02 07:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by chris n 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a hard one and as i am only 24 i do not know what a situation like this would feel like but my advise to you would be to let your current relationship run its course. If the father of your child does really love you he will wait. He could be just asking you back because he hates the taught of you being with someone else be careful you could end up loosing a good man, if your sons father cares as much as he says he could make the sacrafise and come to live here why should you give up your whole life think about it before you decide keeping and remember the man you are with now has never left you down sometime we dont realilse what we have until they are gone make sure not to give up on something that it worth keeping onto
2007-10-02 07:32:32 · answer #4 · answered by Ash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've got to do some soul searching and work out the pros and cons, why did you guys break up in the first place? Is this other country a good place to live and raise a child ie what are their education and health systems like? Would you be able to find work there (if you want)? How would you keep in touch with family and friends and how often would you be able to visit them?
Sometimes you have to look at all the logistics of a situation as well as the emotions involved.
Good luck.
2007-10-02 07:25:03 · answer #5 · answered by KeaneMiss 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to consider the facts of why you aren't with your child's father... the things that drove you apart in the first place, are they resolved ? Or are you just hoping that he has changed and are walking blindly right back into the same old issues ? Can you really handle going into this and not having a way out ? Do you know what kind of change is going to come with such a big life altering decision ? Just some questions I know would be weighing heavily on my mind...
2007-10-02 07:25:06 · answer #6 · answered by geonhope 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How wonderful it is to have some perspective, dear. After constantly asking yourself what direction your life is going, doesn't it feel great to finally feel as if you know? How very wise you are! Yet all this recent wisdom is exhausting. You feel as though you've made a long trip up to the mountaintop to speak with the learned wise person at the top. Now that you're back down in civilization, it's time to find a soft bed and relax for a bit.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
2007-10-02 15:08:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
without more info such as past and why yr not together in first place etc.. its hard to say. it is a big one. inwhich you shud look at long and hard. sorry need more info but in some ways i feel if you and his son is that important to him than he wud come to you. keep safe
2007-10-02 07:24:28 · answer #8 · answered by DEBBIE D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if in your heart u think it would work and u still love him then yes go but if u dont love him no more then no u cant force something too work out even if u share a child together good luck mami
2007-10-02 07:22:41 · answer #9 · answered by BROK3NLI3Z20 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to do what makes you happy... children always want parents to get back together but it's not always for the best
2007-10-02 07:21:49 · answer #10 · answered by fireguy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
CHOOOOOOOOOSE. N pls choose as soon as possible. Otherwise ur gonna land in BIG trouble
2007-10-02 07:22:10 · answer #11 · answered by Atieno 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋