How do you cope with the stress of looking after a suicidal person?

Question

My son is suicidal. He attempted suicide twice last year, but luckily I found him in time both times. (yes he is getting a lot of help from psychiatrist and psychologist). Some days are good and then we have the really bad days. I am on alert all the time, not knowing what is going to arise today. My husband tells me that I thrash around all night in my sleep. (that is if I am in bed, not sitting up all night with son, talking him through the bad times, hugging etc, just being there) I am so tired and so scared. I just want to know if you are in a similar situation, what do you do to save you sanity? I love my kids and will do anything for them. By the way my son is 24.

Answer 1

Im sorry to hear about your son and its lovely to hear how caring and compassionate you are towards him!
Its a very hard task looking after someone suicidal, and I have been suicidal myself and I hate having to burden it onto my partner when im feeling that way.
Have you considered getting him to have a stay at a psychiatric hospital or something similar until he gets stabilised on some medication? I know its harsh to think about doing it, but it will also put some of the burden off you and they will be able to watch him 24/7.
I have looked after someone feeling suicidal before and it is one of the hardest things you can ever do, you never know whats going to happen.
I wish you both all the best and hope your son feels well soon!

Answer 2

Have you sought counseling yourself? You mentioned that your son was going through therapy but perhaps you could benefit from yourself, not because there is something wrong with you, but perhaps talking with someone about what you are going through, the stress of what is going on, sometimes we just need someone to talk too, and to listen to US. Try an over the counter sleeping aide once and see if that helps with the thrashing, you don't have to use it all the time, but it might help with the sleeping problems.

You love your son, and are taking a major part in his recovery and that is very admirable, but it's very stressful too. You need to make time for yourself, whether it be therapy, some sort of hobby that is out of the house (Perhaps your husband would be willing to stay with your soon for an hour or so to let you out of the house so you don't worry about your son) and that you can be stress free about. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of anyone else.

Good luck and long life to all your family.

Answer 3

I can't imagine it being my son--I feel so sad for what you must be going thru-when my Dad's fiancee was 30,(I was 21 & she and I were close) she got suicidal, and her warning signs were a "last hurrah" weekend doing things she loved to do,(Fri. and Sat.) then freaking out and crying about her pain and no one understanding-3 am-sobbing hysterically, and then hugging us both seperately and telling us goodbye (we realize that now-she was subtle) The next day she called my dad and quietly said," I'm leaving, and it's all your fault. It's done". He picked up on it and sent an ambulance, but the lethal combo of Soma and Prozac was too much. Susie was gone before sundown on Monday night. I am telling you all this because wish someone could have given me a scenario example of behaviors to consider extremely critical--I might have taken it all much more serious. I could've done more, but I was ignorant to it all. We figure it was about a 3 day window from when she decided to do it, to when she followed through. She also had 2 prior attempts. May God bless your son.

Answer 4

Get into an active sport like wacking a ball. Let out the nervous energy. Your son could be distracted from suicide if he were convinced to share time with people with more unfortunate lives, like orphans needing tutoring or a fun activity teacher, kids in a cancer ward, help with a disabled group, assist in caring for animals in animal shelters, or assist in old age homes. If he can bring cheer to these folk or animals, then he will hopefully focus on helping people live and hopefully realize he also has good reasons to stay alive.

Answer 5

he could be Bipolar, an acute form of depression, your doc would know ask them the next visit, if it is then you can get medication for him, do you know what triggers this, have you asked him if there is any thing he want to discuss with you , that might be worrying him, if he has a P. C tell him if he wants to talk to some one in private I am more than happy to do so , here is my E. Mail [e-mail] he can mail me any time as you can too , I was a little less fortunate than you we lost our brother to suicide 10 yrs ago, but we were then at that time ignorant about spoting the tell tale signs, Now I know them, and am pleased to say have been able to help a few people from taking there precious life's, and they now lead good and Farly
happy life's, so good luck and tell him if you wish, am only an e mail away, now you!, you can't carry this burden for ever, you need time for yourself and your need's, other wise as I can feel from your words you are showing signs of break down, so it's paramount you take time out and give your self a break find out if you can get some form of rest bite care for you son, for you to then take stock and recharge your batteries, you need to think of the long term, both you and your husband need to share this load eqily, the strain on your marriage must be hard but hey your still together, a lot would have hit the road by now , so I know it's easy for me to say ,but do try and stay positive, I speak as a guy who's brother was so dear to me, but I live with it and move on, I still have fond memories.
Regards
Ryan Dix

Answer 6

hi ya im key im going though the soft of the same thing my mum as mental health prombles and she want take her medation i think he should be in hosptail getting help so u can put ur mind at rest i think u should talk to his doctor about it he would not be in there forever just until he his better well i hope he gets well and u keep ur head up take care key xxx

Answer 7

both your son and you should be followed by trained professionals. trained in suicide intervention and crisis prevention for instance.
ask the spiritual emergence network as well (freephone) but you will have to google it because they remove accounts that post links

Answer 8

Hire a home care nurse or pca (personal care attedant) to help w/ your son to ease your mind.