How do I break up with the love of my life? PLEASE HELP?

Question

I love her, and I am hurting so bad to finally do this, but i have to break it off with my gf of over 2 years. Shes been mean to me, controlling, wont let me spend my money how i want, talks bad about my family, puts me down, spys on methrough my emails, kissed another guys neck, wont let me have the career i want if i stay with her, and keeps breaking up with me on and off, and gets mad at me for every little thing i do (like calling the suicide hotline when she told me she was gonna kill herself and stopped answering her phone).. however.. when she doesnt do this she is sweet and nice and she is very beautiful and she even took me on a date last month.. but i cant deal with what shes doing. i know its going to hurt her very bad and i want to do it as painlessly as possible, bc i know its going to hurt me very deeply too.. so I have 2 things i need help with. 1. how can i break up with her gently. 2. How can i deal with it, i dont even know what its like not to have her in my life.

Answer 1

I would tell her (honestly) that you and her need some distance, as you cannot continue the relationship you have with her. Tell her you feel she may be too immature for you and you just need some time alone to evaluate your feelings. Then don't let her play the control card with drama, just take what's yours and don't look back.

There's no painless way to solve it, so just do it. I'm sorry you got hooked on an immature drama queen with a pretty outside, but this is the reality. I'm sure you have hobbies or a career to look after.

Answer 2

This is never the easy part for anyone but just to let you know don't do it in front of a crowd let it be just you and her somewhere peaceful so you can tell her why it is over and how you feel now trying to deal with her not being there in your life well sorry to say this but all it sounds like is she is weighing you down more then anything so if i where you i would be relieved yet sad that everything went south good luck and happy trails

Answer 3

Be honest with her. Tell her you need to persue your career otherwise you BOTH will fall way to far behind in life.

Tell her she will have a easy time finding someone new, and better than you.

DONT PLAY THE SITTING AROUND AND CRYING OVER IT game. It will get you both nowhere. Break the news as common as asking how are you doing. Dont pull a "honey, we need to talk." come right out and say, "we need to break up before we get too involved. the 2 years has been great, but I have 4 years of school ahead of me".

Use something that will be longer than your relationship in the example.

Good luck!

Answer 4

thats a difficult question. though, i agree with you for wanting to end it.
i think youre a very strong person for keeping up with it for so long... and yet you still love her so much.
do you think that theres no way for her to change? have you ever talked to her about it?
it might be hard... but you should really just sit her down and have anice chat with her. tell her what shes doing to you. and if she still does not change or even acts like she doesnt really care about her behavior, tell her very nicely that you want to put the relationship to an end. dont say "i think we should see other people" because, honeslty, i think that hurts more than saying "lets break up."
tell her directly that its over. she might even start spouting out promising words like "ill change" and so on, but if you really feel in your heart that she will not... just end it right there. direct and precise!
now, as for you... the best way to getover a broken heart is not with a new love. thats what you call "using". i would cut all ties with her for a long while. no phone calls, no emails, and try avoiding her. get yourself to the point where you barely see her at all. that way you can become accustomed to not being with her. if youre constantly near her you will only miss her and want her back.
dont be afraid to drown yourself in alcohol for at least two or three days. chow down on that chocolate. watch those sad movies. depress yourself out until you start tp feel that you cant get any more depressed.
afterward... stay at a friends house if you could (for a short while) and start to get back on your feet. right away pick up a hobby or immerse yourself in work. dont let her get back inside your head for however long it takes for you to return to a normal life.
when everything is getting back to normal... i suggest going on dates. start seeing a girl. (hopefully a great one) and keep it up like that.
after all this, probably even months after the break up, you can start somewhat socializing with your ex. greeting her and having small chats, until FRIENDSHIP is built. (you may think that you fell in love again... but most likely its just friendship. its hard to really distingush sometimes.)
until the time where you can think of her only as a friend... you are not over her.
when you can smile around her and think that the days you had were really good and you feel grateful towards her.. thats when you know youre over her.

im not an expert. actually, im really only a child... but i think that something similar to what i said is your best solution. there are other ways, however. no matter what you do ro say it wont be easy... but dont give up! i hope things work out for you ^^

Answer 5

Well, about the money, she does have a say. Especially if you're considering marriage with her. It's not just your money, it's the both of yours. As for the putting family down, so what? Maybe your dad is a pig, or your mom is judgemental. Sorry, but it is possible. What career is it that you want? Maybe she sees more in you and is just trying to help.

You are not convincing me that she's a bad person. You're only convincing me that you are solely thinking about yourself.

You'll be fine without her, if you really want to end it, just do it. It's never easy.

Answer 6

you have raised many questions on your question, i visit respond to this you could Love restoration what existence has broken? particular presented that is genuine, unconditional love....... the minute hypocrisy, falseness enters into courting it spoils each thing, the guy whose spirits have been carry as a results of fact he theory he replaced into being enjoyed & cared for easily disintegrates whilst he realizes how hypocrite the different man or woman is and how pretend his/her love replaced into . in case you like an occasion of such genuine love study the e book " les miserables " and particularly the passage the place jean vallejan meets the priest who feeds him , provides him safeguard whilst no person is in a position to accomplish that, whilst the completed international is hell bent on labeling him as criminal , an animal this priest treats him the way a man or woman would desire to be dealt with and inspite of that jean vallejan robs this very priest, yet this priest forgives all his sins and that's whilst a genuine exchange happens in jean vallejan . Such love , thoughts-set as shown by using that priest constantly has potential to repair what existence has broken .

Answer 7

Well, first you have to tell her how you feel about her action like what you wrote her, if you cant then you can tell her that you feel you are tired of having relationship and you want to stop it.But before you tell her you have to find someone that you think they can make you happy after you break up with your gf. I can understand your situation to be with someone who have bad action. So dont just think, try to do it and try to be strong. Do you want to spend your whole life with someone who treat you this way? I think you deserve someone else who really love you and treat you nicely. Good luck.

Answer 8

You may love her but she's not making your life any easier, and she may have a sweet and beautiful side but her possessiveness dominates.
Just tell her it's been a long ride, you're exhausted and you need to be alone, tell her you love her but you can't handle a relationship anymore.
You just have to swallow and do it.

I think it's the right thing to do.

If you do, then cut all contact for a while, just 'til you sort your head out.
Good luck.

Answer 9

to me she doesn't seem like the right girl friend for you. you should tell her all the thing you just said right now that go on from there. good luck

Answer 10

slowly start doing things without her, get her used of u not being there. b with other friends. good luck!!!