I want out but, I've got kids, can't drive cause I'm on meds, can't leave cause it will only be more difficult and he said he'd give me hell and I know he will. I can cheat and get away with it. He does things behind my back and I always catch him lying.I'm not emotionally, physically, mentally being satisfied and though he knows what I want - he doesn't even try. I've been good to him, but I don't want to be anymore cause I 'm sick and tired of giving and getting little in return. So if you knew that I really couldn't leave- would u say it was ok to cheat?
2007-10-01 20:28:06 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the way i see it it is never ever okay to cheat while you are in a relationship. But now that your "partner" has already cheated, he has broken all trust and worthiness of being with you. The way you make it sound you are not emotionally, physically, or mentally tied to him as a companion(and that all falls on him) so there shouldn't be anything stopping you from pursuing other realtionships and making a way out for yourself with someone that truly cares for you. I am not judging you in any way at all please understand, but i went through this a few times with my mom and it just isn't healthy to bring men into your children's lives you don't know for a fact(through time and good judgement) to be a worthy and respectable person that you could be with for the rest of your life. Its just to hard as a kid.
2007-10-01 20:41:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Its not OK to cheat. Its OK to leave. You staying with him makes you just as pathetic as he is. You're enabling him. There's never ever an excuse for staying with someone that you have no "emotional, physical, mental" relationship with. You have two legs, walk out if you have to. There are places that will help you get away from him forever. Him "giving you hell" can't be any worse than what you're already going through. Its probably only a threat. If he doesn't give you the time of day while you're around, what makes you think he'll pay much attention to you if you leave?
That sure doesn't sound like a "hypothetical" question. You have too much detail for it to be hypothetical.
2007-10-01 20:38:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe that anyone really can't leave. There are single mothers out there making it all the time. Welfare will help you. If that is really your picture, you will have not problem finding other men. Your are beautiful.
You can get a restraining order against him and file harassment charges. Put him in jail. It is better than living in hell like you are doing now.
If you feel this way, you can always divorce him.
You are feeling guilty about cheating or you would not have asked this question. This is one way of dealing with your guilt. Leave him and it is not cheating.
It is always possible to leave. Sometimes, you just have to.
I wouldn't cheat or want anyone cheating on me.
2007-10-01 20:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your life is in enough of a mess without adding cheating to the long list of problems you have. If he will give you hell if you try to leave, can you not imagine what he will do if he catches you cheating? I think you need some serious mental help so that you can leave this situation.
If the thumbs down is from you, I am sorry I do not think it is okay to ever cheat in a relationship.
2007-10-01 20:30:25 · answer #4 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You can leave. Take your children and go to a safe house, if you can't drive, phone the police, tell them your situation, and they will take you there. If they won't (which I doubt) call the safe house and they will help get you there. Get help if not for yourself, don't let your kids have to grow up around this, you are a mother now first and foremost you need to think of your children. You deserve more than this and so do those children.
2007-10-01 20:42:15 · answer #5 · answered by zail 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is NEVER OK to cheat.. think about the example you are setting for your children by staying in that relationship.. or that you would set by cheating.. it will get out sometime that mommy cheated.. and it is never OK to stay just because you have children.. you need to get out.. and be happy.. you may not think so.. but you kids can tell that you are unhappy... you need to leave.. but try to do it on good terms.. and explain things to your kids.. do argue in front of them.. but be honist to them.. you have to do what is right for your kids..
sometimes doing the hardest thing is the best thing...
Good Luck..
2007-10-01 20:35:15 · answer #6 · answered by angelalee76 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it will make anything better. Stick up for yourself & leave him. So what if he'll give you hell, he's giving you hell now anyway. Value yourself & defend yourself, get a life, & try to be happy. Time flies quick. Don't get stuck on this guy, move on to better things. Good luck.
2007-10-01 20:33:32 · answer #7 · answered by ninfasflowersngifts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry...i dont think its okay for you to cheat...aside from breaking your marriage vows and it being a sin (i think you already know that, so i dont have to go on details about this point)...i think it will only make your life more complicated and messy...what if your husband finds out you are cheating...im sure he's not going to take that lying down...he's going to break up with you anyhow...he might try to get custody of your kids and use your unfaithfulness as leverage...are you willing to lose your kids? you can still get out of your marriage...you can ask for monetary support for your kids...in that way...you still keep your dignity intact...you didn't cheat...you stayed a good mom to your kids and you get support from your husband...and you are free to have a new relationship...just make sure that this new guy will be good to you and your kids...
2007-10-01 20:34:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
One way or another, cheaters ALWAYS get caught. I have yet to be proved wrong... so really, in the end, it'll just make matters worse, and right now it sounds like you really don't need any more crap in your life! Get out of the relationship though before you dive any deeper into it, sounds like you are really unhappy!
2007-10-01 20:46:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, in the first place....you CAN leave. You just don't want to badly enough. You just want to take the easy road.
In the second place...why do you think it is called "Cheating"? Because it is dishonest. So, to answer your question - No, it is not okay to cheat.
2007-10-01 20:42:46 · answer #10 · answered by artistagent116 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋