...how would you handle this situation?
2007-10-01 18:54:20 · 6 answers · asked by folkart 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
This is a very serious question and is difficult for most people to understand because it is so contrary to what we are taught by society. I can tell this is going to be a long reply!
You didn't mention if you are a person of faith or not... if you share the same faith as your lover, then it should be a little easier for you to understand why he would do this. For a non-believer, this of course makes no sense at all. I will assume you are a person of faith (since you cared enough to come here for help) and I will also assume you have a sense what it is like to have a relationship with God.
Everyone (even the atheist) has a personal responsibility to be the best person he/she can be. We each have our gifts, strengths, values, morals etc to help us to make our decisions in this life. Religion aids believers in learning about God and points them in the direction of God, assisting them to "discern" God's grace and in your life and "calling." People are called to do different things. The "career" or "vocation" ("calling") is unique for each of us. Some people are called to be doctors, some, teachers etc. The list is limitless... what makes one choose one path over another??? Obviously, it is what they are interested in and what makes them happy. To the person of faith, we believe that we answer God's call to that vocation.
So... careers are one thing... another thing is called a "state in life" or "station in life." This is a calling to the single life or married life. (In the Catholic Church there is the "Religious Life" or "Consecrated Life"... this is where the Hermit would fall into). We've all known single people and married people... some successfully married/single and others not too successful in that calling. What makes one choose those paths???? MANY. MANY factors I'm sure you understand.
OK... now we're getting a LITTLE CLOSER to my answer, but not quite there yet!
We are all "called" to LOVE! The "Greatest Commandment" is to LOVE GOD... the Second is like it, "to LOVE your neighbor as yourself." (Don't forget we are also supposed to "Love your ENEMIES!!!)
No matter what vocation or path you choose to follow, we are ALL called to a life of LOVE. I hope the person who chooses to become a doctor does so out of LOVE, not out of greed or desire for money.
All Vocations Should Be Centered on GOD! Every path takes us to the same place. In the end, God will ask us, "Do You LOVE Me?" and it is up to us to answer that question.
SO... Why in the heck would ANYONE want to renounce the world AND choose such drastic measures to even abandon PEOPLE to become a Hermit???? Sounds crazy and it sounds like a contradiction to "Love your Neighbor"... No???
No. Positively NOT a contradiction at all.
The Hermit doesn't leave the world and everyone he/she loves to abandon people or out of hatred etc. NO... he/she chooses that way of life out of LOVE OF GOD AND LOVE OF NEIGHBOR! It is not a selfish calling... it is the opposite. The Hermit stands before God as a sacrifice of Body, Mind and Spirit so that he/she can more identify with humanity and offer that sacrifice with JOY because of choosing to be in alignment with God's calling for them.
Is this for Everyone??? Of Course not!!!
So... OBVIOUSLY... for your lover to choose such a seemingly "drastic" vocation as a Hermit, he must really, truly LOVE GOD and have strong commitment to Him, because there aren't any glamorous "worldly" rewards (money, power etc.) for Hermits!!!
So... your questions was, "How would you handle this situation?"
You call the hermit your "Lover" so I assume you LOVE him, NO??? Love is supposed to be UNCONDITIONAL. With Love, there is often times sacrifice involved, but because we Love the other person, that "sacrifice" actually feels good because it helps us grow. (YES it TOTALLY SUCKS... pardon my language), but we WILLINGLY choose that sacrifice BECAUSE we LOVE!!!
If you don't understand that last paragraph, you have NOT experienced TRUE LOVE or UNCONDITIONAL LOVE yet! If you don't understand how sacrifice can be good, I really don't believe you're there yet either.
So... What would I do???
I would 100% be there for my friend... support him... stand by him and I would CONTINUE TO LOVE ETERNALLY because that is ALL of our calling... TO LOVE... UNCONDITIONALLY. I would do whatever it takes to ENSURE that he is successful in that calling and be there for him when he needs me, and certainly not judge him for choosing a life few fully understand.
I believe, that it is through acceptance of his choice, it will actually help YOU with your path. It will give you a new freedom which will strengthen you as you journey towards God. If you LOVE GOD, You will LOVE your friend and that LOVE will encourage YOU to choose GOD too!!!
: )
Will you ever understand the choice of a Hermit? Probably not. Are you supposed to??? Only God knows. Are you supposed to know a Hermit? Yes... if your friend chooses that path.
How many people know a Hermit???
I think that is REALLY COOL!!!
If you want/need to talk more about this, contact me and I'd love to help support you in this difficult time. I assure you that once you see GOD in this decision, you will find JOY too!
: )
2007-10-01 19:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by Tall Paul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sincerly try to find out why he choose Hermit life than a worldly existance with you full of love, joys and sex. I would forstly ask if I myself drove him to leave me. If the nswer to that is negative and you were the best of mates then either he lost some gear in his brain or truly some mysterious thing happened to him. If you love him, then ruin your life and wait for him maybe one day he will retur. If you love yourself just find another one. Life is too short to throw it away. Live and let live.
2007-10-01 19:04:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anthony Zammit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give them time. God will direct them on His own time Worldly pleasures are hard to discern ,is it OK or OR it sinful?Eventually they will loosen up.I know from experience they are trying to find their place in the world
2007-10-01 19:25:24 · answer #3 · answered by Jeng 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be happy! All the more reason to never leave the house. But you're not talking about bedroom exercises are you? Cause I couldn't live without that.
2007-10-01 19:18:40 · answer #4 · answered by Becca 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Drag his whacked-out butt back to earth. Or fine...he can go live in a tent in the backyard until he gets tired of it.
2007-10-01 18:59:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would become a himmit.
2007-10-01 18:57:02 · answer #6 · answered by cheir 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋