I find it extremely difficult to comfort somebody in grief, do you have any suggestions?

Answer 1

There is no easy way to comfort a person in grief.

You need to let them grieve. But at the same time, make sure they know you're there, so that when they do look for companionship and comfort, you're there to catch them.

I lost my dad a few months ago and no one could comfort me, but I felt good that I knew I had a handful of friends who always made their presence felt by just being there, sending me sms messages on my cellphone, or visiting me at home or even giving me a call, just asking about random stuff, eventhough deep down I knew they were really checking up on me and trying to make me open up.

So when the time came that i voluntarily opened up, I knew who to turn to, because my best friends never left my side.

Answer 2

Comforting someone in grief means that you let the person
(who is grieving) know how much you care for them.

You "may" have to be creative in how you do this.

For some people .... You will send them a note or a card.

For others .... You may stop by .... and give them a hug. Or
just stop by. (Like many others have said .... YOU DON'T
HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING!)

There are NO "RIGHT" words to say when someone has lost
a loved one. But the person that is experiences the lost
will be comforted by the presence of other caring people.

What I do (sometimes) is wait .... for several weeks AFTER the lost. That's when MOST of the other "comforters" have
gone back to their daily routine. I will (then) call or pay a
visit ..... Just to let the person (that I care about) know that they
are STILL in my thoughts.

Try not to think of it has difficult (which it is).... But it is difficult
if you think that you NEED to say something that will take
their pain AWAY. NOTHING can do that. But you can EASE
their pain .... Or encourage them "during" their pain JUST
by your presence. Or just by a simple act. For example ... I
say don't ask them "what I can do to help?" .... Depending
on how well you know them ..... Just go by and DO SOMETHING. Take out the trash ... make the beds.... bring
food.... babysit the kids.... take the dog for a walk.... (That's what I mean by being creative!)

Hope this helps!

Answer 3

Being around others who grieve often puts us more in touch with dealing with our own mortality. It's an uncomfortable feeling for many people.

Amazingly, for people who are grieving there really doesn't have to be anything extraordinary done. They are looking for a listening ear, a non-judgmental listener, a person with compassion. The best way to handle that is to let them do the talking and to sincerely listen to what they're saying. If they don't say anything, that's okay, often times people are in shock and can't say much in a grieving situation. If they accept a hug or a stroke on the back, give them one. If they are a religious person, they might appreciate knowing that you're praying for them. You might want to urge them gently to drink some water or eat something, because often people in grief simply forget to do these things (bringing something for them to eat might be a good thing, but don't feel bad if they don't break out the knife and fork).

Just take the lead from the grieving person in terms of what they will accept (in terms of their reaction) and you should be okay. Your presence shows that you care.

Answer 4

Really, most people are just as happy to have you sit silently with them and perhaps even hold their hand. You can cry with them, or stroke their hand or shoulder while they cry,. give them the occasional hug and make hem a cup of tea or coffee if they want one.

There is no need to try to be a counsellor, there are great professional people for that urpose, as a friend it's simpy a matter of being there.

Having been in the position of being the grieving person myself, I can assure you that a nice cup of tea delivered with a warm smile and someone answering the phone for me meant more than all the wise words of the sages at that time.

Later, the time for conversation will come, but by then you will feel natural and ready to talk with them.

Because you care, it will not be as hard as you fear ~ and you will be much appreciated :-)

Best wishes to you :-)

Answer 5

Don't say anything, they are sad, let them be sad. Don't try to hard to distract them from the grief, allow them to talk about the person they loved.
Tell them happy memories or wonderful things the person did for you or said to you. Never say it was God's will or you are only given what you can handle even if you believe that they may not.
Keep up the support the grief doesn't stop after 2-3 weeks, call, invite them to lunch in a month or two also. Make some future plans that affirm life.
When we took my dad to the hospital for the last time then went back to mom's house we spent the afternoon picking out wedding gowns from magazines for her granddaughter.
At the funeral her great grandson played on the grass.
My grandmother died last year at 98 and I am sure having great grandkids around helped mom cope.

Answer 6

For extreme cases : How good are you at listening? Bring them to/Let them talk it out, listen attentively, don't judge, don't compare, don't push, let them cry it out. Encourage them to step forward. Best you can do is be there.

Then again, what kind of grief was it? Heart broken? Someone died? Somebody's dying? Bad day? Got fired? etc... Sometimes, a person need to be challenged in order to move forward.

Show them the reason why they need to move forward.

Answer 7

Being with somebody in grief is comforting itself. Talking is not necessary.

Answer 8

Just be there at their side. Don't talk. Just be there, let them be the ones to share the memories.

Answer 9

Give them a ear & shoulder to lean on.
~~Good Luck~~

Answer 10

Flowers and cards.