So it was his number one fantasy,the thing that turns him on the most,he never forced me to,but let me know how much he loves it...always talking about it...i was tired of it and decided to give me what he was craving so much...we did it 2 days ago with my best friend.next morning i had a breakdown..he ensured me he loves only me and forever and that he didnt need it,i initiated it..but i now have the image of him kissing her,touching and f..ing in my had..cant think of anything else...what to do? can u forget something like this? we've been dating for 2 years and his says he wants me to be his wife in the future..also he says he would've not done it if he knew i would react this way..i really love him....can it ever be the same again? i want to hear guy's perspective too.
2007-10-01 18:06:39 · 6 answers · asked by Woman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
can i be comfortable with being together in the same room again with him and her..
2007-10-01 18:07:28 · update #1
If he says he wouldn't have done it if he knew it would hurt you, he at least is being honest. The episode that happened obviously happened because all parties agreed to it, it might make you upset now and uncomfortable but you can get past it, you don't have to do it again, and your boyfriend hasn't broken any trust as you were there. Tell him upfront that you don't want it to happen again, and that yes you DO love him, you just need some time to get over the shock of what happened.
As for your friend, I don't know. Don't be angry at her, or mad, again all three of you were willing participants. If you feel you can talk to her, tell her that you need some space because your reaction to the event isn't good and you need to get over it.
2007-10-01 18:12:36 · answer #1 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it bothered you no you will probably not feel comfortable with it being the three of you until you are comfortable with it just being the two of you first. It is not your friends fault though. This should had been thought about Little more before doing this although. I think choosing a friend was a wrong move in itself. Also a man needs to have a fantasy, and just that nothing more. You will probably regret this the rest of your life, and if you don't stop feeling so guilty your relationship with him will never work. I thought about this myself and wouldn't mind having experience with a chic but not a chic and my husband. I don't want someone having sex with my man, and I would had felt the same way. The only thing I can say is you may not forget, but you learn from mistakes, and if you let it eat you up it is over.
2007-10-02 01:32:52 · answer #2 · answered by bigjuggies79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to lie to ya here and try to smooth things over with you. But honestly you should have experimented with this sort of fantasy well in advance. Like earlier part of dating the guy. So it could have been something random and fun. And not with your best friend of all people. I mean my goodness, I know you didn't want to do it, but with your best friend? Come on now. I think you wanted to do a so there in his face type of move and it ended up blowing up in your own face. The best I can tell you is this: option 1 break up with him, and learn to forgive your friend, option 2 stop being friends with your best friend, and stick with the boyfriend but never fufill his fantasities again, or option 3 get rid of the both of them and pray they don't start seeing each other. Those are the few options you can try and do to get past it. But as I have read in Cosmo magazine time and time again, that its indeed harder to get past having a 3some. In my mind I figure it is because the couple has waited too long and too far into their relationship to do it, so that when they do, one of the partners end up feeling that the serious bond they have with their spouse or bf or gf is being threatened by this other person. I think that is the case with you here. I can't say more on this because its really up to you what to decide and what you feel is best for you and everyone else. I gave 3 options above can consider all three. Take one or the other or none at all. But its really up to you. Good luck on making the righ decision for your life.
P.S. In the future if a dude is going on and on about a certain sexual act. If you are game for it do it in the early part of the relationship before feelings go too deep. Or not at all. Because to go through another breakdown would be very bad for your health and mental state of mind.
2007-10-02 01:32:08 · answer #3 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this is one of those things that only bothers you if you let it.
like fear. if youre strapped into a roller coaster, you knwo you wont die, but its still scary, but in theory, if you can accept that its not scary and theres no risk, essentially you could remove the fear since it aint real.
you need to find whatever way you can to make this not be a big deal to you. you did it because he would have bugged you forever, and not been happy. now maybe its you who wont be happy as a result of it.
from a guys perspective; i dont think you shoudl worry about him not loving you. guys just have weird sexual needs, and for some guys that means anal sex, for some blow jobs, and for some it just means threesomes. it doesnt mean he wants other girls than you, it means he wants the idea of being with more than one girl, and since you cant be in two places at once, well, youve gotta get your friend in there.
as long as they stay away from each other sexually i dont forsee it being an issue. as for you, if you cant get the image out of your mind, maybe you should break up with him. he has now put you in a position where youre uncomfortable in the relationship, and only you can know if you can get past it or deal with it or not. if not, youll eventually dump him, its inevitable, but the sooner you decide the better it will be.
another thing is that he may want to do it again, so if youre not prepared to do it again and cant make peace with the idea, then definitely dump him, cuz youre just gonna be stuck doing somehting you dont want to do for the rest of the time youre together.
2007-10-02 01:18:34 · answer #4 · answered by Ricardus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Comfortable probably not but you know what your a great person and you found in yourself to do something great for the man you love. let it go now nothing more will happen unless you want it to and if it does look me up
2007-10-02 01:17:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough thing here is you did it with your best friend. You should have found someone outside of your circle. I think long term, it might affect your relationship with her more than him.
2007-10-02 09:31:09 · answer #6 · answered by verrico98 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋