How do I get the guys to stop going easy on me?

Question

Not all the guys are bad for this. My instructor and at least one of the other guys throw and grip me as hard as they'd throw another guy, but there are some who, when asked to pair up with me, suddenly suffer from limp wrist syndrome or something.
I actually looked at one of them one day and said: Is that the best you got?

I took this class to begin with to learn to defend myself. How am I going to learn self-defense if I don't know what to expect?

Answer 1

I think you have to remember that you are a female college student and sometimes as a young female adult you will get this kind of response from some of the younger male students or ones that are not secure with going harder with a young adult female such as yourself.

Don't berate or insult them-just encourage them to go harder when training with you. Some will-some still won't. Not all training partners are good or great ones but if you can get a few more of them to go harder then you are on your way to building a core of better training partners than what you have now.

I also have to say that I have some very tough female as well as male fighters/students. None of those tough female fighters/students would dare say that to some of my tough male fighters/students for two reasons. First it is disrespectful and counter-productive and I would jump all over them-it shows a lack of discipline and lack of control. Secondly as one of the other people already mentioned-be careful what you ask for. There is a margin of safety and a certain standard of order that has to be kept when working with highly trained, highly skilled, tough fighters and students that if it is not, injuries and accidents occur for no good or valid reason.

Answer 2

give it your all when you attack. It's a natural response of action and reaction. if you give it your all you'll get an equal response.
Maybe best to explain to your partner that you can handle more than he is giving BUT as others allready said be careful what you wish for. Believe it or not but the female body is not as tough as the male in certain areas. I practice aikido which really works the anatomy of the human body. If I were to go as hard on some of the girls as I do with some guys I'm certain I would have caused some serious injuries (yes after a while you can feel what a body will take). If it's realism you want than also realise what the realistic odds are that a guy is gonna attack you or go all the way on you.

Answer 3

seems like a thumbs down trend...my moral dilemma...agree and get best answer or say what I believe...

That guy up there is right, why would any guy whose learning go full force with a girl? Cause then if he destroys you, everyone will look at him and be like WHat THE ****.? Of course instructors can, cause they should always win, but some random joe whose as clueless as you could only lose in that situation, and not in a literal sense.

oh and by the way, unless you commit to it, martial arts for self defense is about as useful as a q-tip. Commit means years, and by years I mean like at least 10.

Answer 4

Careful what you wish for... but just tell them to not go so easy and eventually they will go a little harder and a little harder until they find out what is too hard. If the guy weighs as much as you do then he should have no problem going harder. I grapple with a girl sometimes and when we first started I went easy on her then she surprised me so I went a little harder and now she could probably kick my butt she got good really fast!!

However if you're the type that shows up to class once a month and not improving then you probably shouldn't go at all. Nothing's worse than some giggly girl that isn't taking it serious in your class!!

Answer 5

I get you. I know what you are trying to say. I agree. When I as a 220 lb man who has been fighting my WHOLE life approach you to hurt you, your classmates will have done you a disservice by taking it easy on you.

Having said that, maybe you could let them try it once or twice before you commit to full force. See, these guys AREN'T trying to hurt you, and it is ruining their concentration because everything we learn from boys to men says NEVER hit a woman. It's really hard to do if you are a GOOD man.

Please try and work with them.

Answer 6

Well I'm one of the lightest adult fighter there is. So I'm small, the guys all went soft on me. So I just showed them that I'm just as tough by a nice kick to the head. They treat me a little better now....although I think they still sometimes go soft.

Answer 7

not many of these answers seem very effective... as a guy I can tell you that the only way I'd go "full force" on a girl is if it were 100% necessary to prevent my mortality.

so the answer, based on that, is: beat the sh*t out of them w/o remorse, and FORCE them to fight back harder.

and if you're not able to do that... then maybe it's a good thing they're not using full strength, because you still need to practice more.

Answer 8

well its gonna be hard because if you back out of fight with a girl people will call you a whimp or something but if you do fight and if he even hits you once people will call him a jerk so ui honestly dont know try to get what i said and bend it around a lil if you know what i mean to find a way to explain


i know i made no sense at all =D

Answer 9

you should first ask them to do so and if not then make them pay! lol but really u should kind of go hard your self. there probobly thinking your weak no offence just show them or if that don't work go to a all girlz place b/c they go full force

ps: vote me the best.....or die lol jking

Answer 10

Just tell them.

Most guys are afraid they will hurt the girl, I have seen girls cried because guys were hitting too hard, so guys are usually cautious when it comes to practicing with girls. Just let him know what you want respectfully.