How do i CONVINCE him?

Question

Ok so I’m super good friends with this guy named John. We went out like 3 years ago, but it was just kinda modest. I didn’t fall for him or anything. But now I’m dating my current boyfriend and have been for 8 months now. We both have fallen in love with each other. But he thinks I have too much of a “special bond” with John. Honestly I don’t like John at all, he’s just always been there, I’ve cried on his shoulder many of times. He’s my good friend, and I’m in love with my boyfriend. But he’s worried that John and I have something more going on, since one of John’s text messages said “I love you” to me. Which my boyfriend saw and got worried. John has told me before that he really really likes me, and has for a while…
How do I convince my boyfriend there is nothing going on with John and i?

Answer 1

Tell him to grow up and deal with it, or get out of the relationship. Jealousy does not get better with age, it just becomes more and more tedious. He needs to learn to deal with his insecurities.

Answer 2

First you need to convince John that he is never going to be more than "just a friend". I'd say that your boyfriend has a reason to be distrustful of John since it's obvious that John wants to date you. Even if you don't want to date him, it would be all too easy for John to manipulate you to dump your boyfriend in order to be single. Also, since you are allowing John to text you stuff like "I love you" & not try to get him to tone it down, you're encouraging him to believe that he has a chance. Someone is going to get hurt out of this scenario as it is now & there is a good chance that it could be all of you.

If it was a different relationship between you & John (where he wasn't in love with you) I'd say that you should just try to get them to be friends. It's hard for someone to believe that a guy & girl can be friends, so it's a bit slow going. I really do believe, though, that the person you really should be talking to is John. He's obviously got this idea that the two of you have something beyond friendship going on (and you haven't really done a good job telling him otherwise).

Answer 3

You shouldn't have to. Someone who truly loves you is willing to take a chance on you, not looking for reasons not to trust you. You have a right to have other friends. After all, you have a life and there is hopefully many people in it that love you. John may be in love with you, but what matters is how you feel about him. If you love your boyfriend tell him so, but also let him know that he will have to love you exactly the way you are, and that means respecting your past relationships and thereby respecting you.

Jealousy is not a sign of love, but a sign of miss-trust and insecurity. If your boyfriend doesn't understand, your relationship won't last...

Answer 4

Maybe your boyfriend has been hurt by the same situation you're going through now. If he loves you he should trust you. Even though John is a very god friend and I know you don't want to hurt him you need to explain how his text message is interfering with your relationship and how you fell about your man. Love is so beautiful when God ts in charge. You'll go through changes and so long as you do this together your relationship will grow stronger and better.

Answer 5

bookmark this yahoo answers page and save it in his favourites on his computer, then he will see it and understand things clearly and accidentally. although by telling you this ive just crapped all over my own beautiful idea.

honestly, the only thing you can do is explain it the same way you explained it here. tell him youve never given him reason to doubt you, and ask him if he has ever loved anyone in a platonic way. one txt out of contxt isnt a good enough reasoin. tell him you can understand why he would get insecure, then make him feel secure by taking him out for dinner, giving him some great sex, and make sure he knows how great everything is, and that he really shouldnt worry.

if he cant get around it then hes too insecure and it sounds like youre screwed until he can accept that theres nothing going on, but hopefully it wont come to that.

Answer 6

Never lose your friends, but ask John to back off a bit out of respect for your boyfriend. Tell your boyfriend that John will always be your friend, but that you have spoken to him about backing off some.

Answer 7

maybe you need to back away from john a little and have him not text messages like that. how would you feel if your boyfriend was getting i love you texts from so called friends.you did go out with john so he is gonna worry. cant really blame him a little bit. stay friends with john just back off a little

Answer 8

You shouldn't have to convince him. If your boyfriend truly loves you he'll believe you. Tell him that he needs to trust you and that you wouldn't do something like that, tell him it offends you because that is only someone really low would do and you're not like that. If he doesn't believe you just remember if there's no trust in a relationship then the relationship isn't worth having.

Answer 9

You just have to talk to him.. tell him that you love him adn that john is just a friend.. every one has those special guy friends.. the one you can always talk about.. you should make something up like john is gay.. ahah.. then your boyfriend wouldnt be jeleious anymore... you might have to talk to john to.. sounds like he likes you but you have to tell him that you dont like him liket aht righ tnow.. you want to be friends with him but you already hve your boyfriend.. tell you boyfriend that you talked about this with john.. itll work outl

Answer 10

keep repeating it when he brings it up, and eventually he should get it...But remember men are like that, they get VERY jealous for the stupidest things in us womens books...i have a friend like that, and he doesnt talk to me anymore bc he is to insecure about the fact that i still like my ex, as a friend, while my new friend really likes me. BUT i dont like him like that and i never will...he is convinced he did something wrong which he did, but i also bite his head off when he had the nerve to get pissed at my talking with my ex/friend...but It takes ALONG time to get through to your ave. guys...and i am almost on "good" terms with him now so dont give up, he will get it... and hotchilie is rite too...