My dad is the biggest jerk i know. He is very self-absorped and told me that i would be a horrible mom and i should give my baby up for adoption and that this is impossible to do and i won't ever do it and i'm helpless.. How the hell do i stop trying to get his approval and just tell him to **** off? I've been trying for 23 yrs and he can't help anybody in this family... and hes never given me the support i needed or wanted. How do i stop trying to get his approval?
2007-10-01 16:17:07 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Im still trying with my mother and im almost 30. I have just stopped calling her, she will call me once in a while and its not so bad. At one point i actually told her that i was not going to try anymore, im going to worry about my family and making sure they are happy and i will make sure my children have a relationship with their mother. That is all you can do some times, some people no matter what you do will never make them happy.
2007-10-01 16:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by prplhaz04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to say this but I had the same problem with my mother telling me that I would not make a good mom. However, I have proved her wrong. My point is this: I have had to see a therapist about issues concerning my mom and this was the advice I was given.
You can never change the way your parents feel about issues and sometimes you just have to cut them loose from our lives. If all they do is talk negative about things it is just going to be more stress on you.
How do I stop trying to get his approval: you just walk away, because you don't want negative aurora around your children.
2007-10-01 16:28:14 · answer #2 · answered by ~Sheila~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look in the mirror.........see who you are..........know who you want to be for yourself and your child. Then do it.
Your dad probably was treated just as badly as a child and has impossible expectations that no one can meet. It is his way of always being disappointed so he can gripe about it.
You don't say if you live with him, but if you do move out. You say you are helpless,,,,,,why? You can hang up the phone, walk out the door, get away from him when he starts with the verbal abuse. The more you stand up for yourself and are successful as an adult and a parent, the less you will seek his approval. I wish you the best of luck in a tough situation.
2007-10-01 17:18:13 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there and done that, The only way is to go on with your life. If you have children then raise them to the best of your ability. I figured out a long time ago that I have to make myself happy and be happy with who I am. I no longer look for approval from my parents. It still hurts but I know that I can do it for me and my family.
2007-10-01 16:25:46 · answer #4 · answered by honeybeeinwv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After this amount of time hes not going to change. You should go on with your life and only have contact that keep you from feeling guilty,(that could be none). Make your life happy, that's more important to your child than making your father see the light. One day he may come around when he find out what hes done, but don't hold your breath.
2007-10-01 16:57:31 · answer #5 · answered by paul 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to cut him out of your life. It sounds harsh but so do the things he's saying to you. Sometimes it will make people wake up and realize what they have done but if not you will be much better off.
2007-10-01 16:40:44 · answer #6 · answered by Stacey P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋