Christians...need your help?

Question

Twice in the past couple of days God has lead me to help someone out financally. The first is a single mother of 6 kids. I gave her money for 2 new tires for her car. The next day they came over to play and brought an extra large pizza for their lunch while we ate spagettios. I don't know the last time we were able to afford a pizza like that. Then today I gave a college student who had no gas some gas money. She came back from the gas station with a drink in her hand. Should I be offended or glad to help out?

Well, I am not trying to brag. We are just coming out of having absolutly no money at all and God has blessed us with some money. I am trying to not be greedy with the money. I know that it is God who wanted me to give the money. I am not questioning that. I am not trying to brag about anything. That is why I was asking other christians this question.

Proverbs 19:20:

20 Listen to advice and accept instruction,
and in the end you will be wise

Answer 1

It's hard to tell from just one or two instances whether or not these people's spending habits are constant or a one time thing. It's possible that the single mother with 6 kids treats them to a pizza once a year and that the college student doesn't get a drink that often.

However, from what I've seen from some people I know, the above is rarely the case. It sounds to me that the people you're helping don't know how to manage money. It isn't that they're thumbing their noses at you or trying to be inconsiderate, they just don't know any better. There are many people who are not taught proper money management skills. The single mother probably doesn't realize that if she didn't buy a pizza or other extras so much, she could have had money to buy the tires for her car. The college student probably thinks that a dollar here and a dollar there for a drink or snacks doesn't add up (it does.)

As to whether you should be offended or glad to help out, let me ask you a question: was not helping these people out financially really an option for you? You said that it was God who lead you to help them out. Since that is so, it really wasn't much of a choice. So you should be glad about it.

On the other hand, you, too, are human. It's a normal feeling to feel slightly offended when you think that you may be really paying for someone else's irresponsible habits. Let me ask you another question: would it be worth it to you to talk to these people about it? Most people with bad spending habits don't know they have bad spending habits. And worst of all, most people with bad spending habits get very offended if you mention it to them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have done right by your own conscience and by God but you also have every right to feel offended. Some people are poor through no fault of their own and others keep themselves in poverty through foolish decisions.

By the way, I feel I must be honest about something. I'm not a Christian, but I was at one point and I understand/respect how the belief structure works. It's nice to see someone who truly lives by what they believe. If I have intruded here, then please forgive me.

Answer 2

I have had instances in the past where I felt that I should help people financially and I have been hurt by their lack of "gratitude" for lack of a better word. I bought groceries once for what I thought was a homeless family with a "will work for food" sign and was floored when the man told me that we would have rather had the cash so he could buy what he wanted! I was livid but after I prayed about it, I felt like God told me to help those people and I was obedient to what God was telling me to do. If that man used his family to scam me, then that is on him, not me.

However, I don't believe that God wants us to let people take advantage of us either. I have started carrying a list of charities that are specifically set up to help people in a bind and if approached or I notice a need, I can call the charity on the person's behalf or give them the number. For instance, there are organizations in my community that will help people with bills, groceries, lodging and getting their cars fixed.

I feel God does call us to help people out but there are ways to help without being taken advantage of by someone. For instance, you could have paid for the college student's gas instead of giving her gas money. You would have still been obedient to God by helping her out. Of course, there are some situations that you don't have control over, like the single mom buying pizza when she can't afford tires and in those instances, God will sort it out.

Answer 3

Well, when you offer to help someone out, there is a chance they won't be grateful or respectful.

I stopped to talk to this homeless woman trying to collect money for her family. I offered to buy her groceries. She was happy and I went to the store, made groceries for her and her family for a week.

When I gave them to her, she looked at the bag and instead of saying thank you, she proceeded to point that she would have preferred this type of meat over another, one type of cheese and not the type I gave her, that she'd rather wheat than white bread, roasted chicken instead of fried.

She asked if I would return to the store and get her the specific brands that she wanted and then told me actually she would have just preferred cash, and also she needed some baby clothes.

I was floored and just walked away. I was offended she was ungrateful, but I was still glad I helped out.

Answer 4

God wants u to help others. i would do that. but if the same thing happened to me the same it did to u. i would go up to the person and say,"whats up i gave u money 4 gas and u come out with a drink in ur hand? if u really had money u just stole money from me" i hate it when people say they dont have something and then they come out with the exact thing or something better.

Answer 5

Be glad that someone's need is met,whether it's the exact need that the person told you about. Be offended only when that person does not recognize your help or when the financial help you gave was used for unnecessary things.
And oh, it's better to help by providing a way for a person to find a solution rather than supplying the entire solution, esp when it comes to giving money, unless if we're talking about life-or-death situations.

Answer 6

Please be careful handing people money. It can fuel their addictions. When people ask for assistance, by all means help, not harm... sometimes this means being prayerful in your assistance and paying for the gas or buying the tires yourself rather than handing over money.

I pastor in a poor, vice-ridden area. It's a daily struggle. Stay prayed up, stay connected with other Christians, and remember to refer people to local agencies that have the necessary funds to deal; with these issues as well as the experience to separate the grain from the chaff. But always, always pray with those who are sent your way and rejoice that the angels have steered them towards you!

Grace and Peace!

Answer 7

You will be blessed for your actions. The better way of helping people is to suggest, in a decent way, how they can be more efficient with their own resources. You should always rejoice when you have the opportunity to help someone.

Answer 8

You can only do your part. Take joy in knowing that you obeyed God and blessed someone. She may have been really thirsty and hot... Either way, you met a need.

Answer 9

OK I consider myself a Christian, and your question is very offensive to me. "God lead me..." and then you go on to question whether you should help or not??? Very disgusting. I think you decided on your very own to help people, which is admirable, but singling yourself out as some agent of God is really arrogant; but what is worse, if you truly feel you ARE an agent of God, HOW DARE you question HIS wisdom in allowing you to do deeds for him.
You are coming across as bragging about your good deeds as well. I believe in Matt 28 you may read that your piety should be kept private. Perhaps I'm judging, perhaps God put me up to it in a divine vision, but whatever, that is between God and me.

Answer 10

God wants to use you to help others, but he doesn't want others to take advantage of you... If someone asks for gas money, make sure they are buying gas... Even christians shouldn't be taken advantage of...