How do I get my 4 yr old to sit still?

Question

The daycare has said that my daughter won't participate in activities, has a lot of trouble sitting still, and sometimes randomly hits others for no reason. They said she is behind the others in their learning program. Of course I dailey tell her no hitting, listen to your teacher etc. At night when we practice writing letters she slumps out of the chair, sings, anything except what I want her to concentrate on.I just keep trying even though I don't feel I'm getting anywhere. Is it normal for some 4 yr olds to have so much trouble sitting still? Are there any ideas on how to get her to focus? Would time-out work for when she won't sit still?

Answer 1

Welcome to my world! You have a 'busy' child as well. First - do not take what the daycare says about her learning progress to heart. An uneducated provider suggested that I medicate my son when he was 3 because he was so busy. Busy kids have a harder time coming around to sturcture. These things seems to having an impact with my son:

1) Make sure she is looking you in the eye when you are talking to her. My son would try to 'ignore' the talk by not making eye contact.

2) Postive behavior charts. I echo the one at his school with red/green stars. It has helped to the point that when he ehars he is going to get a red star he ceases the behavior.

3) Positive motivator-my son loves bubble gum. I keep some in the car. when he has had a good day I give him a piece. It is positive and immediate.

4) Increase empathy for others-I had to work on this with the hitting as well. If my son lashed out at me I would 'cry' so he would learn that it hurts people's feelings. We also talked about his feelings when another child hits him.

I wouldn't use the time out so much. This NEVER was successful with my son. Earning rewards and positive feedback from me, his teachers and the family seems to be having an impact.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Does she have siblings? Does she have a problem w/ the hitting at home? I would suggest to you that if she has a problem focusing make sure you are someplace where there is no other stimuli and she can have her full attention to what it is she needs to do (practicing her letters ect). Then you need to keep her on task if she gets off task gently redirect her. It is her responsibility to do her work you should guide her. If she gets off task redirect her. If she acts out put her in time out until she can apologise and know what she is doing is wrong. You just need to be consistent. Consistent with homework times, bedtimes, discipline. Once she realizes that she cannot "get away" with what shes been doing she will be less likely to continue the behavior. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

First, you need to assess the situation; is she acting out, or is she just not ready for this kind of structure? I strongly advocate a structured daily routine at home for young children, as it builds a sense of security and confidence to know the usual order of things-breakfast, play, lunch, nap, snack, etc.

If your daughter has had any emotional trauma this kind of behavior can be expected, but you have to know why she's behaving this way before you can really address it.

Children need to know that they are expected to obey teachers...telling them to "listen" does not really compute for them, they also listen to music and TV, you know? It's also important for the directions to be given at the times they are needed, as young children forget very easily and are easily distracted, so telling her the night before will most likely not be remembered the next day.

It is very very very important NOT to give her a direction UNLESS you see it through, or she will not learn to follow directions. If you tell her to sit still, you need to make sure she does, but be appropriate in your voice tone, expectations of her, and consequences.

Consistency, persistency, empathy, and COURAGE, dear mother!

blessings,
cryllie

Answer 4

If you are concerned, which apparently you are by posting here, I'd probably get her checked out by a professional. It may just be her age, her pesonality or any number of things. The professional would have the diagnostic tools to tell you if she is "within normal parameters" for her age. As well, they can advise you how to better handle the behaviors you perceive to be problematic and how to proceed correctly.

Answer 5

Try making sitting still, practicing letters, or whatever you need her to do, a bit of a game. Say to her "Let's see how long we can sit still" "I bet I can do it longer than you". Give her lots of praise when she does what you want even if it lasts for 2 minutes. You may want to consult a Dr. if you are concerned about her attention span or level of focus. Good Luck

Answer 6

he probably does need more fiber and if you have a hard time getting him to eat a lot of fiber rich foods like many of us do there is now some fiber on the market that you just pour into whatever you are cooking and they get added fiber in foods that they like and may not necessarily be rich in it on their own and a lot of kids sit there forever with no results try giving him a book to read to help relax him

Answer 7

She is four. That is why she won't participate and why she randomly hits. A time out would be cruel. She can't help the way she is. My five-year-old is the biggest wiggly worm EVER!. Try doing physical things with her. Run, skip, play with a ball. Give her plenty of time outside to burn off her energy. She may not be physically ready to write her letters. She is just a busy girl.

Answer 8

I would definately ask your daughters doctor about that. I guess it's typical for a 4 year old to "not sit still"
Maybe there are signs of ADHD or something else. Better get a professionals opinion on that.

Answer 9

Get her hearing checked first, and then get her eye sight checked. Her hearing is probably her problem.

If none of this helps, see a doctor that specialises in child behaviour.

There is a problem, but don't worry, it can be healed.

Answer 10

You should find things that are age appropriate for a 4 year old. One thing that comes to mind is a "puzzle with very large pieces to it." That is just one idea. It is also safe and there is no way that the child can come to "harm." Time-out is an excellent way to get your child to "turn down those active nerves." I trust that this helps. Peace, Love and God Bless.