I had a lover that was amazing in bed. We had a painful breakup. Now I have moved on but haven't found a better lover than him. I have found better realtionships then him but sex w/ others has always pailed in comparison. How can I forget my old lover & move on?
2007-10-01 13:51:05 · 8 answers · asked by NICOLE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Were you in it for the sex or for long term? You call someone a lover, it usually implies that you loved him and still do. As for the painfull break up, not sure of the details but don't let him go. Forcing yourself to forget is only worse. If you were meant to be with him then things will work out. If not, then, just let fate work its ways.
2007-10-01 14:04:23 · answer #1 · answered by Sun And Sky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Nicole,
Let me just say this... OUCH!!!! It usually is the intense relationships that we have that are the ones that touch us most deeply and as you know, do not leave our heads. As happy as he made you is as sad as he made you. A real smacker of an experience. But... if it had gone on for years and marriage, things would have gone onto some even keel and it would no longer be your smacker of a relationship.
You are not alone in this feeling of wanting to get an old lover out of your head. It is part of the human experience. Anywhere you go, whether it be to the grocery store, the airport or the mall, there is someone in that same space who I would bet is feeling the same way.
Maybe a song, a certain type a food, a certain smell, a certain activity, photos, etc. are all things that keep bringing you back to this person. The trick is not to avoid these things, but to immerse yourself in them with others. This will help you get de-sensitized. ( Believe it or not, my problem was pizza with anchovies. I ate lots of pizza with anchovies and stopped associating this particular person with that food.)
But let's get to the love part. Some people are a better fit as lovers than others. It could be that if you were lovemaking with this other person right now, you would not be as painful as you are... and the sex would not seem as great as you remember.
We always want what we don't have, so I think the painful breakup is probably bringing out these feelings in you.
Is there a song that put you in the mood? A certain food or drink? Try it with a new guy. You can tell him that you always had this with your ex and you have painful feelings right now... if he is a good man, he will listen to what you say and your intimacy will be increased. Which will make the sex better.
Or it could be that you just need to meet someone special.
Moving on is never easy, but please trust me in knowing that there is someone in store for you if you allow yourself your own sadness, speak it out with others and keep an open heart.
hugs from
Antonio
2007-10-01 14:24:52 · answer #2 · answered by Antonio 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can forget your old lover and move on by answering the following question truthfully and honestly:which quality is more important to you in a partner---a tiger in bed or a guy who loves you, respects you , cherishes you , wants to be with you and you only.While I do not want to minimize the importance of sexual intercourse and sexual compatibility, sexual technics, mechanics, and methods can be learned; and with time and patience, a mediocre lover can become a tiger-- a fantastic lover.On the other hand, good qualities are in-born; you either have them or you don't.The minute you are able to respond to my question( and I have tried to help you come up with an answer), you will immediately know what to do and how to do it. I hope you make the correct decision and choice.
2007-10-01 14:16:20 · answer #3 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have found better relationships with other men, try working on the sex and experimenting with different things to make the sex better. You can always improve on sex if you and your partner are willing.
2007-10-01 13:58:33 · answer #4 · answered by Pretty Eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the lady who taught me how to a really good lover pasted away 3yrs ago. she said that 97% of the men out didn't know what to do. and she would know. find someone who respects you an dosen't judge you on your exp. and tell him what you need. all you need is a horny willing student. I found one and can't teach fast enuf. she wants to learn it all at ounce. patience.it takes patience.spell check don't work. good luck!!!!
2007-10-01 14:43:42 · answer #5 · answered by ew a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a pic of urself and make him step on your pic,
learned it from a korean drama^^
it helps
2007-10-01 14:00:28 · answer #6 · answered by hyoyoung 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it just takes time. love stinks!
2007-10-01 13:59:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure but when you find out please tell me.
2007-10-01 13:58:31 · answer #8 · answered by Talithea H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋