What do I do?!?

Question

Hello. I'm in a bit of a situation and I need some answers. My girlfriend recently received an email from an ex. In the email she claimed to still have butterflies for him and how much in love she was with him. I confronted her about this, and she just told me she was saying those things for closure. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. We're engaged now, and I'm questioning the entire relationship because I don't know if she's telling me the truth about the things she said. She tells me I'm the only one she wants to be with, but I've heard that before. Was she just seeking closure, or are there deeper intentions with this? How do I know if she's telling me the truth or telling me lies? Should I end the engagement over this?

Answer 1

She is lying. You don't get closure by telling someone how much you still love them and have butterflies. This is flirtatious and extremely INAPPROPRIATE. She should have told him I'm madly in love, engaged, and going to get married, and this will be my last email to you, have a nice life! I don't know how old the two of you are, but I would break the engagement. She doesn't sound mature enough to be engaged, never mind get married.

Answer 2

I think you are right not only to question the entire relationship but also your fiance.My reasons which I want you to seriously consider include the following:1) You don't continue to exchange communications---letters, email etc---with an ex2) while you don't stop being civil, you do not exchange love notes and intimate declarations of said love.3)closure does not involve or include telling your ex how much you still miss or love him.4)you don't get engaged or even start dating exclusively if you don't already have closure of your past romance5)it is not the first time ,as you indicated, that this sort of thing has occurred with her6) why is she having such a difficult time just focusing on you, her current boyfriend; no , make that the man she claims she loves and wants to marry.My suggestion is to put your engagement and/or marriage on hold until you are sure she truly loves you, is being faithful, is being totally truthful and honest about those contacts with her exes,is not hiding something serious and important from you, is not using you for her own ulterior motives, and that you are still number one.While I am sure this is difficult for you as a result of your love for her and that you may have a tough time ending it,please be prepared for this eventuality since it might turn out to be your only true choice. I hope I am wrong for your sake.

Answer 3

Do you trust her? If you do, than believe her. There is no way sure fire way to know if she is telling the truth or not. If you don't trust her, then end the engagement for that reason, not because someone from the past is missing her.