My boyfriend wants to try A N A L S E X wiv me, i think it hurts and i find it pretty sick doin it that way...but my bf says it wont hurt if he uses lubricant...but im still insure about it...
have you ever tried it???
does it hurt???
do you think is a bit sick???
My bf is 21 and im 16, i told him that maybe wen im older.
what do you think???
2007-10-01 08:30:27 · 85 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
for people who keep saying its illegal im from the uk its legal to have sex at the age of 16 with an older person than you, and rape, rape is wen a guy has sex with a girl making her having sex, so its NOOOOOT RAPE...and for one of the girls who says that he is using me, he aint i told him that i didnt want to have anal sex yet coz i dont feel like it and he was fine with it...
2007-10-01 08:52:35 · update #1
Whoa whoa whoa!!! Since when was it illegal for a girl of 16 to have sex?? 16 is the age of consent. This guy is doing nothing wrong in the eyes of the law, and even if she was 15 in the eyes of the law, if it is with her consent, they are very unlikely to take action. It doesn't matter if the girl is 16 and he's 50!! If it is with her consent then it's irrelevant. As long as it can be seen that she is responsible enough to give consent it is not an issue. And for anyone to be in here and call it rape, I think is disgraceful. You do not know enough information about the relationship. This could be a very stable and happy relationship for all you know, how would you feel at 16 if you asked for advice and people told you your boyfriend was raping you.
It's only 5 years, how many people in here are a few years older, or even 20 years older, but have a 5 year age gap with their partner? I've only just started posting on here but the answers to this question so far have disgusted me. The poster is asking for advice, not a slating, not to be told the guy she's seeing and no doubt greatly cares about is raping her when he has sex with her!
We all know that girls mature quicker than men, this guy isn't necessarily the type you all imagine him to be, he could be a very loving guy who has quite innocently suggested a sexual position that his partner is unfamiliar with. Everyones idea of a sex life is very different.
Back to whats important - the poster. If you don't feel comfortable with this, you don't need to do it, and if he genuinely cares about you he won't mind. If he does kick up a fuss or pressurises you, leave him.
I have tried it and I was very hesitant too, I thought it'd be messy and horrid, but it really isn't that bad - it wasn't messy at all. It can be a bit sore to start with and lubricant is required! But many women find it pleasurable, and once you've got over the initial sting it can be. It's not sick, I can understand why you think so but there's plenty of people who do it, you're not a minority. It's what you're comfortable with, thats all that matters.
All I ask is you only go as far as you're comfortable with, if the guy is pressurising you, then don't. Please don't take offence at the messages regarding your partner raping you, i'm sure you're mature enough to realise that isn't the case.
I hope this has helped. Good luck with it all, just do what you're comfortable with!
2007-10-01 08:51:04 · answer #1 · answered by Gem25985 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
DON'T DO IT. If you are having ANY doubts, you will wake up in the morning and feel used and abused.
This may sound "over the top" but it is your body and he is playing on your lack of experience to frankly get you to try to do something that gives very few women ANY pleasure at all.
If you should want to try this, then wait until you are in a steady, trusting relationship.
Besides, your boyfriend seems a bit old for you. I know how it was being 16 and going out with someone 21 doesn't seem that big a deal but he is pretty much an adult - out of school and has, SOME experience - and really ought to be with women his own age.
I don't think the practice is sick but this I do know: Men have a prostrate gland and this gland can be stimulated by engaging in this act but women do not have a prostate gland so it is questionable as to how, exactly, women derive any pleasure at all. I say "don't do it" because you are having doubts and you will feel ashamed by your own actions.
I think you know this in your heart. Tell him "no" AND look for a guy who wants to have sex WITH YOU. Your body has a vagina and a clitoris and that is where you will get pleasure and enjoy your sex life. Others may like this practice but you don't sound at all comfortable.
This act is about HIS dominance and all kinds of silly fantasies that are all in his head.
You have a body and you have a choice.
Do what makes YOU happy and frankly, you can get a much better man than this fool.
Dump him and find a lover.
2007-10-01 08:41:21 · answer #2 · answered by KD 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If this is a serious question....
then I'd say don't try it unless you want to. You are still young and inexperienced and this kind of thing is something you need to feel very confident about. I've no idea why men are so fixated on the idea but they seem to love it. It's no good for us - we have no pleasure sensations there so you have to want to do it more out of fun. It might well hurt, even if he does use lubricant. And he has to be very careful too - the tissue is more delicate and can be damaged much more easily than the vagina.
Just don't do it unless you feel 100% as if you want to. If he doesn't understand then tell him to get lost.
Men do actually get pleasure from someone doing it to them because they have a G-spot about two or three inches inside their bum, almost where the G-spot is inside a vagina. They probably don't understand we don't get the same feeling!
2007-10-01 08:39:42 · answer #3 · answered by finch 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he want to try and use you as a sex toy and anal is the next step just to see how far he can get. The best combat this situation is by doing the following. Go out and buy a dildo and vibrator. Then ask if it will hurt if you shove it up his pooper Use his own words against him so be sure to tell him that it won't hurt because you will make sure it's got lots of grease on it. If he says no, then tell him that's the exactly the same reason why you don't want him to sick his unit up your @ss.
2007-10-01 08:47:31 · answer #4 · answered by Super Star 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't ever let a guy force you into doing something you don't want to do. But...
If you really love him and want the relationship to last then I advise you to do it because if you don't then he will try it with another female. But, first tell him that you need some time to think about it but never say no unless you want him to cheat and another thing if he keeps pressuring you to let him do it to you in the @$$, then kick him to the kirb because 9/10 he's gay the reason why I say this is because of experiement.
Good Luck!
2007-10-01 09:00:05 · answer #5 · answered by Missy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make sure you're the one who directs the situation if you do it...you get to direct ALL his actions...he doesn't make a MOVE without YOU telling him it's okay!
It can take 20+ minutes for you to get opened up enough (with lube, use LOTS) for it to be comfortable.
It's a pretty normal thing these days, though I'm sure some people will reply that it's sick. But you have to be sure you can trust him to listen to you. It's definitely a LOT slower and careful than regular sex. If he just starts pumping you will likely get hurt and never want to try it again!
Oh, and...USE CONDOMS...and not just to protect you, but for him...he can get a pretty bad urinary tract infection from unprotected anal sex.
2007-10-01 08:37:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
think about this ... if he's such a great catch why is it this 21 year old bloke can only get a 16 year old girl
now im not saying there is anything wrong with you
but there is definitly something wrong with him
he is an overbearing bully who has to overpower and master a 16year old girl to make him feel like a man basically cos he's been rejected by every other woman his own age
if he likes it up the chutney tell him you will do it if he takes it first ... its the same thing ... get yourself a big d i l d o and see his eyes start to water
then dump him before you end up a victim of sad blokes who treat women like c r ap
2007-10-01 12:56:53 · answer #7 · answered by Doc 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
in case you quite have a sturdy courting, shifting in at the same time might want to be an rather good adventure. regrettably, it is not any longer continuously the case. once you do not stay at the same time and also you spend some days there, this is like a luxurious. You take excitement in it extra. once you flow in, after a lengthy time period you type of take each little thing with no interest. the buzz is gone. yet back, in case you quite love one yet another, it might want to stay a thrill. because you already experience doubts, i imagine this is a sturdy idea in case you put off the flow till you are able to re-evaluate your courting. confer which include your bf about what you're feeling. See what he thinks. yet do no longer make a flow till you're genuinely certain this is the right element to do. i wish i have helped slightly. I wish you the finest of success.
2016-10-20 04:19:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anal sex is against nature. (Not a gay thing but a not for your body thing) I'm sorry. Your muscles in you Anus formed in a way to push things down not up. If you have anal sex you are going against the grain of your own body and could really do some permanent damage. People who have anal sex repeatedly eventually can not control their bowels and have to wear diapers. My ex-boyfriend tried to force me to do it and he really hurt me. If your 21 year old boyfriend really loves you, he will stop trying to talk your 16-year old self to do something that can cause permanent damage.
In response to your addition to you questions, your body is still developing. So when I comment on your age it's not a maturity thing or a Staturory Rape thing is a health conscnes thing. A lot of females in the US date older men, especially teenagers. Telling you not to do it will only make you want to do it more. Better to tell you to be safe.
2007-10-01 08:37:03 · answer #9 · answered by missie_d_73 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Aren't Americans ignorant? Actually int he US the offence would not be rape, but Statutory Rape - which is sex with a minor even with consent given (there is no equivakent in English/Scots law). However I do agree that the age gap between 16 and 21 is quite large and may lead you into more adult behaviour than you are emotionally equipped to deal with. As with ANY sexual practice, if you're not happy with it, don't do it!
2007-10-01 09:36:39 · answer #10 · answered by drjaycat 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋