What is the best way to get rid of Bible Thumpers when they come bothering you at home?

Answer 1

the only form of "christians" i have ever seen go door to door are jehovahs witness' and mormons. so i wouldnt consider them "bible thumpers"

Answer 2

1. Tell them "no thanks" and lock the door.
2. Wear a shirt that says "Im Evil".
3. Answer the door carrying a butcher knife and sopping head to toe with blood.
4. Throw a baby at them.
5. Do the monkey thing with your own poo.
6. Electric Fences.
7. Tiger Pits.
8. IED's
9. A pack of rabid chihuahuas.
10. Move into the Bates motel.

One of those should work. Good luck. (# 1 and #3 are the only ones I was serious about.)

Answer 3

ha ha I had this problem too. I have an aunt and uncle who are Jehovahs witnesses (family embarrassment) they are required by their Kingdom Hall to go door to door. I had just taken a shower and had a towel wrapped around me when the Jehovahs banged on my back door. I thought about not answering but then I thought What the Heck? I opened the door (still wrapped in towel) and let them start talking and then cut them off and said. No thanks, I have relatives that are Jehovah and I don't talk to them either and then shut the door on them. I was kind of embarrassed but I'm sure not as much as they were.

Answer 4

I used to be plagued by Mormon door knockers on Sunday mornings. Two ploys I used were to say they had the wrong house, then point to a house down the street and say the deprogramming center is over there. The other was to scream at them, "You have a lot of nerve coming here after what you people did to my sister." Never saw another one after that.

Answer 5

I don't answer the door, but if the door is already open, I politely say "we're not interested" and bolt the door locked.

Of course, a friend of mine who's an hardcore Atheist will answer the door naked, ask to dance with the pretty lady, that kind of thing.

Answer 6

Don't answer the door or post note at the door telling them not to knock it can say 'I shoot every third bible thumper two have already knocked today'.

Answer 7

My father is a tried and true Southern Baptist. He'll sit an listen for a few minutes, .. then he can't stand it any longer. He has to break out the King James Bible. Then he gets real excited and all but preaching to them. So it actually backfires on them when they come to his house.

Answer 8

once you're looking forward to a background it particularly began for the time of Goldwater's marketing campaign whilst the Christian the terrific option was first forming, the leaders took an pastime in Goldwater, in spite of the undeniable fact that it somewhat wasn't till Nixon's Southern technique the place he pandered to the Christian impressive to win the South (and consequently on the time the election). the placement is that once anybody is indoctrinated like the persons you're speaking approximately are that is virtually impossible to reason with them and a political candidate will possibly no longer likely have a purpose to objective to alter evaluations, in a democratic equipment that's lots greater straightforward to realize and shield vigor by utilising eye-catching to a delegated base. that is even much less annoying to sell books to them which do no longer contradict thier ideals, take a glance on the politics section at your community bookstall. i might say it could take approximately thirty to 40 years at minimum or 50 to sixty years at optimum. it somewhat is how long it is going to take the nut-jobs to die, with a bit of luck after living happy lives now no longer ruined by using the insurance rules they advise, and consequently stop vote casting. yet then presented that intellectuals artwork hard to coach and motivate youthful individuals. Oh and for the persons who would desire to call one i'm going to do you one larger a itemizing of the non secular idiots ruining the GOP: Pat Robertson, former presidential hopefull Michelle Bachaman, Congresswoman modern-day presidential hopeful Rick Perry modern-day Governor of Texas prayed for rain on an identical time as reducing the fireman's earnings the process wildfires Jerry Falwell lifeless now yet founding father of the "ethical majority" Robert grant writer of The Christian Voice Ralph E. Reed, Jr. for sure the supervisor of The Christian Coalition Oral Roberts lifeless in spite of the undeniable fact that founding father of Oral Roberts college which seems "proficient" zealots. Mark Rutland took over from Oral i might flow on in spite of the undeniable fact that it would get too long

Answer 9

I usually try to discuss with them the one question they are always asking my neighbors and myself: Am I sure I am going to heaven when I die. I tell them I am going to live, not in heaven, but on the earth. This ends the conversation, although a preacher did actually stay and talk on other topics a week or so ago.

Answer 10

I'd suggest smearing a red blood-like substance on your lips, have it drip down your jaw a bit, and answer the door while snarling and gnashing your teeth. Meanwhile, have someone scream in horror and agony in the background. Perhaps have a visible fire burning.