he thinks he's right about everything, and he's self-centered and nothing matters to him unless you know what! he thinks he is more smarter than me despite his military career and he always makes me feel so small inside and i can't stand it! even when i dont' work (we have a kid) he says everything even my credit card is HIS cuz he worked for it. what kind of problem does that describe! i need a excuse to leave him cuz i am sick and tired of it! (we're not in love anymore)
2007-10-01 08:19:53 · 20 answers · asked by silltnwild 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He might be as frustrated as you. I think you may want to consider couple's counseling to see where each other is coming from and what you both want and need in a relationship.
It sounds to me that you are both in a "comfort zone", but you also assume the other person knows what is expected in the relationship. There may be other ways to change your life and make things easier for the both of you.
If you feel that you can't change anything in your own life and be happy while you are with this man, then you may need to consider making permanent changes without him in your life (other than the father of your child). You need to be sure you can get a job and support you and your child before you just up an leave.
If I was in this type of a situation, I would consider getting a part time job and help contribute to the household and make other changes to add to my own happiness before just bailing out. You may want to look into getting a hobby or find some type of a group to get involved with in your community.
2007-10-01 08:42:54 · answer #1 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, his problem is he is an alpha male who's crap doesn't stink and he thinks that because he works, he's worth more than you in life.
Honey, don't believe him. You take care of the home, the child, him and yourself so you have four jobs to his one.... Who's the big one now???
Why do you need an excuse?? If the relationship is over, you staying with the child will subject the child to stuff he should'nt see or hear. No matter how you guys try to shield your child, they know... Believe me, they know..
If he's right about everything, you don't have a hope in having an identity and you don't want to lose yourself. It's really hard to come back once you lose your self esteem.
Honey, have a big cry... Make arrangements with family to go and live there while you find a job. You can also apply for assistance as a single mom with no income. He is verbally abusing you and you have grounds to proceed with applying to the family courts for sole custody and primary residence for the child. Do this first!! Call your local courthouse, ask to speak to a Family Justice Counselor or a family advocate and explain the situation. They can help you with the legal stuff, getting funding, and starting a new life away from this ego maniac.
Get out, Girl - he's going to destroy you emotionally and teach the child to behave in the same way towards people... Do you want that??? Do you want the child to start speaking to you the same way - cause he/she will. If your husband talks to you with no respect, what do you think the child will learn???
Give both of yourselves a chance for a life... But make that call first!!! If you are serious, you have just been given a helping hand out - reach out and take it, honey...
Good luck, sweetie ...
2007-10-01 16:47:32 · answer #2 · answered by niska94 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aside from the fact that he is wrong... what do you want to do?
If you are angry and frustrated.. you'd better do something to allow you to have some independence.. financial and otherwise. Clearly his attitude will only get worse in any divorce proceedings and financial settlements, so get a job, get independent and then do whatever the heck you want... As long as you depend on a man for money you will continue to feel this way. Having a child is no excuse for not having a career and work, so that is gonna work in this day and age.
2007-10-01 15:25:49 · answer #3 · answered by teritaur 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce!!!
You do not need an excuse, your reason for leaving is because he treats you like crap. No woman should let themselves get to this point, you are more than what he thinks of you.
Make a decision fast before things get worst and also think of how the outcomes of whatever happens will affect or are affecting your child now.
2007-10-01 15:25:49 · answer #4 · answered by RedSparkle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems you have a lot of reasons to leave him, just don't look for more. You don't need an excuse. he is probably trying to show you how useless you are so you realize that you cant live without him, and at the same time he needs you more than you do, he feels insecure.
2007-10-01 15:37:41 · answer #5 · answered by guacamole 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your spelling may prove he is smarter.
Grow up is my suggestion to you. You don't need an excuse your not absent from work or school your MARRIED. The truth should work just fine. Just leave if you want to leave.
2007-10-01 15:39:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like some sort of control freak. You need to set limits for him or tell him to hit the road.
2007-10-01 15:23:32 · answer #7 · answered by zippo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It would seem each of you has a problem. You need no "excuse" to leave him, you only need some mature reasons!
2007-10-01 15:24:41 · answer #8 · answered by Chris B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave him...hes a control freak and makes himself feel "bigger" but beating u up mentally and emotionally
2007-10-01 15:34:10 · answer #9 · answered by suzie F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a control freak just walk out the door and show him.
2007-10-01 15:24:06 · answer #10 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋