funniest one gets 10 points!
2007-10-01 07:55:07 · 15 answers · asked by *Casey * 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Chow Yun calls his boss up in the morning, says, "Me no feel good boss, have the headache,, have the stomacheache, me no come work today"
His boss says, "Chow Yun, I really need you today. You know what I do when I don't feel good, I take a couple of aspirins and have sex with my wife and I feel better. Why don't you try that and call me back in a couple hours?"
"OK boss, I try."
couple hours later Chow Yun calls back, says, "Boss, I do what you say, I feel better now, I come to work. By the way, you have nice house."
2007-10-01 14:38:09 · answer #1 · answered by Arraya 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
O.K. when you tell this joke, you have to be very serious and really get their attention at the beginning or it won't work.
I heard this bizarre news story last night on the evening news. Did you guys hear about this?
A man and his wife went to the liquor store about 8:00 p.m. last night. The man stayed in the car because he forgot his license, so the wife went inside to get the beer. The husband waited in the car, after about 10 minutes he strarted to get worried, so he got out of the car and went up to the front of the store. When he tried to open the door, he found that it was locked. He tried to call the store and no one answered. He was very concerned because the lights were still on and he couldn't see anyone inside. The man immediately called the police. The police arrived and broke into the store. They looked around and didn't find anyone, so they proceeded to the back of the store into the office. When they opened the office door, they found the wife hanging, naked by her tied up hands from the ceiling and the store clerk was licking her with his tongue. The police came out and told the husband what was happening and they said they couldn't do anything about it, they couldn't arrest the man because it wasn't illegal......Do you know why it wasn't illegal.............The man had a liquor license.....get it....lick-her license.............
2007-10-01 08:04:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Two dwarfs go into a bar where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that from the next room he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again... ONE, TWO, THREE..... UHH!" all night long.
In the morning the second dwarf asks the first "How did it go?"
The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get an erection"
The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?
I couldn't even get on the bed!"
2007-10-01 07:58:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
A man walks into a store and asks for condoms with pesticide......
Don't you mean spermicide? They ask.
No Sir! My girlfriend has a bug up her a$$ and I'm going in after it!
2007-10-02 05:53:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got to work the other day my boss said oh my god I was driving to work and there was a horrible accident this ladys car was on fire it was bad he said her arms were even on fire and the damdest thing the cop gave her a ticket for waving firearms
2007-10-01 08:01:15 · answer #5 · answered by firebird 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A monkey is running the country over in America.
2007-10-01 07:57:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
thats what she said after a statement like
they say "man thats huge" then you say "& thats what she said" ahhahaa :p
&
Q:what do you call 999 jews in a Volkswagen
A:an ashtray
is funny cause i have a jewish friend :)
2007-10-01 07:57:23 · answer #7 · answered by haloи†иiezwyciężony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
and George Bush wins the Re-Election
2007-10-01 07:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Q: Why are men still neccessary?
A: Vibrators can't mow the lawn.
2007-10-01 07:57:34 · answer #9 · answered by Steve C 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
The one about the guy, the pig, a naked guy and sandpaper! The best!
2007-10-01 07:58:42 · answer #10 · answered by the_real_yoda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋