Single Mom Plus Air Force?

Question

ok after talking to a recruiter we came across a problem I am a single mother with a 6 month old daughter she told me that the only way I could enlist is if I signed over all rights and custody of my daughter to someone in the family until I got out of basic and tech school and then I could try to get custody back but I would not be able to do it right away. Then she said that she was a single mother when she joined and the reason she was able to get around it was she got married to one of her gay guy friends and then when she got out of Tech School she filed for an annulment claiming that he was gay. I am still wanting to join but I don't want to give up my daughter and I also don't think I should have to get married in order to be active duty... Any suggestions.... HELP>

Answer 1

your recruiter is suggesting something illegal as well as unethical.

Bottom Line: Single Parents MAY NOT ENLIST in the Active Duty Armed Forces. They may not give up custody for the sole purpose of enlisting and they may NOT regain custody at all during the first term.. and that is LONGER than Basic training and school.. up to 4 years.

Your only option is the Reserves..and that is waived on a case by case basis.

Answer 2

You cannot keep custody and go active duty. However your recruiter suggesting you sign over is pretty much illegal. Anyone who gives up custody for the sole purpose of joining Disqualifies themselves. Even if you do give up custody there is no guarantee you will get it back. The reason it is this way is because you are not a fully deployable asset to the Air Force when you are a single parent. I see your situation all the time. If you do something like your friend did you could also get charged with fraudelent enlistment. Try applying for an ART postion(full time reserve) its basically like being Active Duty. Good Luck

Answer 3

The reason they are telling you this is because you will not be able to take your child with you to basic training and tech school...period. Also, you will need to have a plan in place for the instance you must deploy and/or are giving a tour in a location that does not allow for family to accompany. If you do not have someone in your life (close family or friends) that you could comfortably leave your child with on short notice for extended amounts of time, joining may not be the best option/ If you do have someone like that in your life, talk to them about temporarily signing over custody (you may even be able to put in a termination date) while you complete training and get to your first assignment (at least 6 months and possibly up to a year). You should be prepared for the very real chance of your first assignment being a deployment..up to a year away. If this is something you can not accomodate..either orginizationally or emotionally..it is best to reconsider. I wish I could offer better advice.

Answer 4

Sounds like the recruiter needs a check up from the neck up! Getting married to a homosexual never seems to be a concrete answer for a heterosexual individual. It is true that you need to have a complete plan for deployment including a family care plan. I would ask the recruiter for the Air Forces policy in writing, read it, and determine if you need to make the drastic step in giving up legal custody of an infant of tender age. Also you must consider that you will be physically away from the baby for bootcamp and training afterwards and possibly for deployment outside of the Continental United States. Not all duty stations take into consideration parenting. The military may not be the best course of action for you and your child. The reserves may also have a less strict rule on this situation, other branches of service may as well be a better fit. Perhaps the Coast Guard. Good Luck

Answer 5

During basic training and tech school, you will not have time nor be able to spend time with your child. It is fair. Singles w/o children generally get a worse time of it in the military. You will spending the majority of your time learning a new lifestyle. You wont have to get married to be active duty but will need a plan for care of your daughter when you are deployed. So be prepared to give up your daughter during basic and tech school.

Answer 6

The Guard is just like te Reserves. You work one weekend a month, two weeks a year. About $180 a month is all that is paid. The Gi Bill pays for about $345 in tuition benefits per month. You do not get BAH (housing money) and you can pay for Tricare Reserve Select, which is around $200 a month for a family. They do not pay to move you, you drill at your nearest AF base. To enlist, you need a rock solid family plan that states who will take care of your child while in training and when deployed. Enlisting is not for you.

Answer 7

I'd say sign over your rights to your mother and then try to get your parental rights back by having her claim she's too old to care for such a tiny child and that she wishes to give the child back to you in her care...

But honestly, I wouldnt see why having a child would be ANY type of hinderance in joining the military. I know so many unwed mothers who had left their children with their parents while they were at basic training for the ARMY and there was no talk about signing over rights or any of the sort.

I think the recruiter you're talking to doesnt know what she's talking about and just makes it seem like theres more to a "solution" than what really needs to be.

I'd join the ARMY National Guard if I were you. You get to come home after you've completed your basic and advanced individual training. Plus theres plenty of bonuses and great ones at that, that will help with the caring of your child. Any questions, please give me a holler. My stepdad just got done being a recruiter last month until an E-8 slot pops up.

Answer 8

HORSE PUCKEY!! That is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever heard of!

First of all you are not signing all of your rights away to ANYONE! All that you have to do is a Family Care Plan, which is the exact same thing you will have to do as someone on active duty. It is a plan--including power of attorney and will--granting your mother (or whomever you choose) custody rights and the right to care for your child while you are in training and/or deployed. It is NOT a legal or binding contract like and adoption or anything like that. It just shows the military that you have a functional plan in place for the care of your child.

Oh, and tell that recruiter that she is subject to UCMJ action for fraud!