Extracts from a Dog's Daily Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Extracts from a Cat's Daily Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash
or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to
disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
B*stards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,I could hear
the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to
the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to
my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to
be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am
certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective
custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
2007-10-01 07:17:39 · 12 answers · asked by Bio Hazard 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Miaow purrr maaow mew awaiting your orders to kill the bastards purrr mew mew purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
2007-10-01 11:27:47 · answer #1 · answered by franja 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Vampire Diaries
2016-04-06 22:51:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kinda reminds me of something from a Garfield Movie!!!
Very Cute!
2007-10-01 07:34:02 · answer #3 · answered by njoy1boi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
9:00 pm licked myself. no comment. nuff said
2007-10-01 07:36:59 · answer #4 · answered by boris the spider 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very good. I like it, it's original so that makes it rarer than rocking horse droppings
2007-10-01 07:48:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got this from a email still fun to read
2007-10-01 08:15:00 · answer #6 · answered by ILikePie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lmao that was excellent! Star....thx for the laugh
2007-10-01 07:23:21 · answer #7 · answered by Deedee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hehe lol I loved it! Starred!
2007-10-01 07:24:50 · answer #8 · answered by Kaeldra 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol !!!!!!!!! well done hun, its absolutely humorous, luv it!! keep them coming !!
Rose xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
2007-10-01 08:05:36 · answer #9 · answered by Est passé de velours ♥Rose♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lol, very good.x.
2007-10-01 12:37:59 · answer #10 · answered by Steph 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋