how do i start making a life for myself ,eg how do i meet new people and not in pubs and clubs im 36?

Answer 1

where do u live

Answer 2

The key is to meet someone with similar interests, so start doing the things you like to do, e.g. if your a history buff, visit a museum on a semi regular basis, if you like children, volunteer somewhere that works with children, etc. That way when you do meet someone, you know you would be compatible. People have a misnomer about meeting people at bars, etc. The truth is even if you do meet someone at let's say some night club. Is that person really going to be a keeper?? Probably not. So, be creative, and most of all do things that make you happy as well. The more happy you are with yourself, the more confident you will be and the more likely someone will find that confidence and positive attitude attractive

Answer 3

There's a number of ways you can meet new people without hanging in bars or clubs. The following list just depends on your choices:
1. Take a class at a university or community college. Great way to meet like-minded souls.
2. Volunteer your time to a cause you believe in. Even one evening a week will introduce you to even more like-minded souls.
3. Take an exercise class or join a gym.
4. The local church of your choice.
I'll bet everyone else comes up with even more ideas. Happy New Life!

Answer 4

I had to answer your question when I read the phrase I have been saying word for word about myself lately..... "make a life for myself". As far as how you meet people that aren't met in the Pubs etc... you simply have to attend activities that aren't in those atmospheres. Go to places that different than you usually go... whether you are a church goer or not there are usually church gatherings, some people do online dating (can be a little scary, so be careful, ) but go places that are out of your comfort zone.

If you are willing to venture out of your usual you will get results that you arent finding in your usual atmosphere. Make sense? Be brave and go for a new life style. Thats the only way you will get it! :)

Answer 5

hi and good for you. i was single again at 41 and for the first year i decided that i needed to get my act together again, i had been in that 'sacrifice everything for the kid' phase (the ex's) and it was time to spend some money on myself.

so firstly i got a personal trainer and lost some weight and shaped up (that took about a year!) and new clothes, and various beauty treatments, anything i could do to make myself feel good. oh, and massage. when you are not sleeping with anyone - i think the touch of skin is important (doesn't matter if masseuse is a woman or man, just a tactile thing.)

then once i felt pretty good again and healed on the inside (read a lot of empowering books, tapes, dvd's etc) i was ready to get back in the world.

I really sort of agree that pubs and clubs aren't probably where you are going to meet the man of your dreams, but don't rule them out for socialising and flirting. you will certainly get 'picked up' (or they will try!) and that can be good for some emotional candy or maybe even a kiss!

they say most people meet their life partners through work.
or through friends (second most common.)

i think it's most likely that people see you as a whole person if they meet you at work/through friends. i think pubs and clubs are more like sex-object pickups, i mean, guys are hitting on you because they like the way you look.

internet dating, i don't think is much better. looks based, and 'how likely they think you are to have sex with them'.
I think it depends on the site. i joined up on the 'clean' dating sites and don't get that many hits at all. (bah!)
however on one of the 'saucy' sites where the women to men ratio is about ten to one (in the woman's favour) i get bazillions of hits (i think, 4000 hits/winks/emails in 8 months, and i don't even have a full face photo up there, just a 'slice' - . perception is everything, i guess.

so as far as building a life. i realised i didn't have that big circle of friends that i used to have when i was single and younger - you lose that after being in a relationship for ages. so yes you do have to rebuild it.

i actually rebuilt it with a lot of much younger people. the first was a young graphic designer who was doing some work for me (23, i'm 42) and suddenly i was hanging out with her and her friends, who seemed to accept me and not really be fazed by the age group at all. just for fun i got into doing some of the 'young' things for a while like clubbing, actually there are plenty of 30-'s and 40's that do that too, so i didn't even stand out that much.

this led to meeting various single and fun girls in their early and mid twenties who were single and went out a lot. just meeting for coffee, nachos, going to see a show, a movie, a comedy night, that sort of thing. I haven't seemed to have come across any women in my age group who are still wanting to go out and do stuff and have energy, i don't know why this is. maybe a lot of them have kids or live in the suburbs or whatever (i live in the city, which helps.)
Oh! this was another change I made. i decided that i wanted to be single and waterfront, so i made that happen.

all the best of luck to you, i am sure that you will be able to re-create a really great social life and group of friends in a fairly short amount of time, it really only takes one.

having a trainer i would recommend, if you can afford it!
they become like a friend too, because they are a health care professional, you can pretty much get quite a lot of benefit from that. my first trainer was a hot guy who was a bit flirtatious and had a great personality. my second trainer is a lovely gay guy who is like a boyfriend and a girlfriend and a therapist rolled into one!

Answer 6

It is believed the best source.. rather than clubs and pubs..are actually your circle of friends.. cousins/brothers/co-workers... If your friends feel like playing matchmaker you should ask them to do that.. another option.. is volunteer work.. Really is just check out places you enjoy.. for example..if u like reading, go to library? any book stores, join a book club..etc.. If you want to find some1 that shares your same interest.. then you might want to start there.. good luck

Answer 7

Try getting a hobby or joining some classes...you very rarely meet a potential partner in a club or pub!!!!

Answer 8

Easy! Join an on line dating site. There you will find THOUSANDS of single men waiting to meet you! You will not be up against much competition either because for every single woman there will be twenty blokes. I know from experience from using such sites myself. As a man on such sites I get ignored as I am not six foot tall and I don't have loadsamoney! Good luck.

Answer 9

You can meet people anywhere... doesn't have to be at a pub or club or social gathering. Just smile and say hello to people you like the look of. I've made friends of checkout girls, at mass, absolutely anywhere, anytime.

Answer 10

hi you dident say where you live,or whether or not you are a single parent.try going to the gym,beauty salons,bingo hall,chat rooms,become an avon representive where you can call on people leave a brocure with them getting chatting and earn a bit of money.I am sure you will meet new people soon you have just took the first step.good luck

Answer 11

My advice is get your friends to introduce you to their friends. Not only will you build up a huge and active social life you already have something in common with the people you will meet making those first few awkward moments disappear!