ok, so there is a guy i have been talking back and fourth with for about a month an a half.. well i finally went and stayed all night with him, and he was so sweet to me.. i have never had someone be so sweet to me b4. even tho i dont like to cuddle, i cuddled with him all night, while he held my hand... the whole night.. everytime i would move he would grab me , kiss the back of my neck, and grab my and, and go back to sleep.. i am really starting to have feelings for him, but i dont want to be the one chasing him.. he works a ton of hours a week, and is always wore out an tired...he has told me on he doesnt want to get hurt, he has also been married 2ce. ...i guess my question is, do u think that if someone doesn't want to get hurt, then they are distant? just dont know.... should i even waste my time on someone who is so very closed up, or help him become more open? he doesn't call as much as i would think he would, considering he has told me how much he likes me...
2007-10-01 06:46:36 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, I think people can be more distant when they fear getting hurt. Of course! I'm pretty closed off personally, but I'm a softy and really low-maintanance if you give it time. I wish more guys would be less scared to take chances with me, but I'm so not flirty I scare them off.
Be patient with him a little while longer, but relationships require both people to make an effort. If he doesn't start trusting you a little more in a few weeks, ditch him, he's not ready. He needs to pursue a bit soon. Only time will tell.
2007-10-01 06:50:51 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Eric Cartman 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ok well him not wanting 2 b hurt can make him b distant 4 a while in the begging but after when he gains that trust 4 u hell relize how great you are. i dont think u should give up on a guy that u really have feelings for. he might ending up being th eone, but until that time comes i think that yall should spend alot of time together. i also think that he might want some down ties sometimes. where he doesnt want 2 b constantly reminded that he has a girl friend, since he has been married 2 other time. well im happy 2 hear that u have found urself such an amzing guy!!! congrats to u gurl!!! u should give urself a pat on the pack!! sounds like a keeper!!! good luck!!
p.s- dont 4get 2 make down time 4 just u and ur friends
2007-10-01 06:54:19 · answer #2 · answered by a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....! Sound like an amazing guy except for the fact that he's been married twice and works a lot. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but think about it. His previous relationships most likely didn't last because he was always working and didn't have much time for his spouse. If they were married, he should have really tried to spend more time with them. If you two are just talking, what makes you think he's going to make time to be with you? Honestly, I'm not trying to sound rude, but think about it. You decide what you want to do. You're the one who makes the last call. So be sure to take all things into consideration.
2007-10-01 06:53:44 · answer #3 · answered by Eloisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being afraid to get hurt doesn't make someone distant. It does make them cautious usually though. He may just not want to jump into it. Everyone expresses their interest in different ways. If he doesn't call as much as you want him to, it is probably because he works so much. You can't change him, but by moving slow enough for him to be comfortable and not pushing him away, he may become more open with you. From your description, he doesn't appear closed off though. I would just keep seeing him, and hope that it works out. If it doesn't work out, will you appreciate your time with him any less?
2007-10-01 06:52:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
depending on how bad he was hurt, Just let him know that you like him and your understand that he works a lot but even if he calls you just to say hi you would be happy. He may be distant but it sounded like he really wanted you close to him and he likes you. Just take it slow. If he was hurt he is probably trying to feel you out and see how you are and handle things. Don't chase him but don't let him forget your there. Take it slow baby and keep the lines of communication open. Good luck.
2007-10-01 06:52:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were in his situation, then I would want someone to want to work with me on potential problems. I would be feeling rejected and like I wasn't ready for marriage or any type of serious relationship. Of course he doesn't want to get hurt. No one does.
If you are willing to work with him on this, then it will be well worth it.
When it comes to the calling, I can imagine that he would be very cautious and timid of relationships. He is trying to do everything right, and if you don't like something he does, just tell him. I'm pretty sure he just wants to make things work finally with someone, and if you are willing to try, then you might end up being that one.
2007-10-01 06:53:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you guys want a relationship should chat everyday. Since he works alot should have one day together going out. Like have a nice supper and chat. Or go out with other people. Not cuddle until you feel comfortable in the relationship. You are doing somethings you are not comfortable.
2007-10-01 07:20:12 · answer #7 · answered by herbs305@YAHOO.CA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feels like u want some profit.. First u offer 10 points then u talking about waiting ur time and that u want to change ur bf for urself (make more open). I think u r making business but not relationship
2007-10-01 07:05:28 · answer #8 · answered by U - lia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anyone who has been married has baggage. ITs not impossible for them to love nor should it be impossible for someone to love him. Take it slow thats probly all he wants. He is also probly trying to figure out why the other realtionships didn't work and trying some new things before he starts a new one with you. Be patient and have fun! If it doesn't work then he probly wasn't gonna be that great of a guy anyway!
2007-10-01 06:54:51 · answer #9 · answered by Dvine21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably scared to make first moves in some situations because he is afraid that if he becomes to attached to you, then you may be the one hurting him again.
I might recommend a strong but passive approach. What I mean is be persistent but not to overpowering with him. If he doesn't call don't be afraid to call him, just don't over do it.
Love is wonderful but it also makes people afraid of what might happen if they let themselves go.
2007-10-01 06:53:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋