What can be considered a young mother, I am 26 and my daughter is 6. She knows I am not her friend, I am her mom, but I see so many parents who want to be their kids friends and to me this is just wrong. I have a saying I tell my 6 year old:
"You don't have to like me because I don't want to be your friend, I can only hope and pray you will love me, BUT you WILL respect me"
I was just wondering what is the attraction to being your kids friend? Don't get me wrong I do fun things with her but first and fore most I am her mother. She knows she can come to me with anything and I know I will keep that line open when she is a teenager.
2007-10-01 05:45:53 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I understand that at a certain age (adulthood) the parental relationship moves from being parent/child to one of friendship. I also do the mommy date thing where we go to lunch and a movie or the park or something what I am getting at is the fact that parents don't want to discipline their kids out of fear they will not like them. As far as the "you will respect me part of my saying" I mean no talking back, you will respect me as your mother and as an adult period!
2007-10-01 06:04:08 · update #1
I think parents have become afraid of their children. They are afraid to discipline, spank, yell. They want their kids to like them and unfortunately this creates very badly behaved children. Kudos to you for not taking any crap from your kid.
2007-10-01 05:52:07 · answer #1 · answered by Jody 6 · 4⤊ 4⤋
I believe i am my childrens friend, and mother. I make them mind, I guide them to do the right thing, and i try to teach them good morals and work ethic.
I am very active in their lives and i know where they are and what they are doing at all times. I take interest in their lives, and they come to me with everything and talk to me as a friend. AND THEY RESPECT ME. They show me love in so many ways, so i think you really can have both.....
When they are sick, hurt, lonely, happy, depressed, worried, bored, excited, ect, they want MOM..... and Im very happy about that. My kids are 15years old, 6 years old, 3 months old, and im expecting again...... I love them all with all of my being...... and they know they are my top priority.
Being your childs friend does not mean not being a parent. Why do some parents feel they deserve RESPECT..... respect is something that you earn........... its not an automatic thing....... If your only care about respect the child wont respect you.
2007-10-01 05:55:18 · answer #2 · answered by tammer 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I am 25 years old and my daughter is 2, I don't think my mother was trying to be my friend, she definantly was and is my mother first, but I consider her to be my bestfriend. I trust her and can tell her anything, even when I was 15 and had abortion and my mother is very religious, but I was still able to talk to her about this. I think my sister feels the same way. I know what you mean I think how some parents try too hard to be their kids friend, and they end up doing something stupid, or not enough, and it only pushes their kids away more. I dont know why parents do it. Maybe because when they were coming up, their parents were too strict or something, and their mother never spoke much to them I guess. I dont know, i watch to many movies, all I know is I love my mother, she is like my bestfriend.
2007-10-01 06:07:38 · answer #3 · answered by Kim C 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Being your child's friend and not making demands on him or her evidently is less strenuous and avoids conflict, hence it appeals to many parents especially when they think that they don't have much time for their children. Although I must confess that my own parenting style has been more friendly than authoritarian (with mixed but overall acceptable results) I agree with you that one should keep the roles of friend and parent apart. Where I disagree is your strong emphasis on "respect" - of course children should learn to respect every fellow person, but I'm not so sure that the mere fact that you are your child's mother automatically entitles you to an extra amount of that personal valuation that I would call respect. But perhaps we just have a linguistic difference here.
Oh, and perhaps we should talk again when your daughter is a teenager...
2007-10-01 07:29:54 · answer #4 · answered by cyranonew 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you can still be friends with your child and be the parent.But i know exactly what you mean and where you are coming from. my two daughters and i have a girls night out once a month where we are just friends and nothing more(mom skills and words get put away for the night) we go out to dinner and the movies or the roller rink and during this time they can tell me or say whatever they want to say but are to embarrassed or scared to say to "MOM" and i can't mad or ground them but work out the problem as sometimes only friends can but from an adult aspect. it has worked so well for me, my neighbor is now doing it with her 15 year daughter and has learned so much about her daughter in the mean time and has helped through quite a bit of peer pressure issues.
2007-10-01 05:56:43 · answer #5 · answered by callie 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I saw you answer and I voted it thumbs down. You need a parenting class real bad. you sound as if you just want to control you poor child and make it give you everything and you give it nothing.
Your child will leave you as soon as it can and try to find all the things they need like Love and respect of someone who has earn those things you will not get it in the end you will lose it
2007-10-01 07:30:24 · answer #6 · answered by nad32h 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I think that parents think that if they are their kid's friends the children will like them more, i.e. tell them more things, behave well etc.
I completely agree with you. I know so many parents that just don't discpline their children because they're basically afraid.
What they don't know is that (in my opionion at least) these kids definitely take advantage of their parents, and it's sad.
2007-10-01 05:58:11 · answer #7 · answered by Edith 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately you have put your saying out of reach...
"You don't have to like me"
"I hope that you love me"
"You WILL respect me"
Unfortunately respect is not something you can demand, only earn. If you earn the respect of your daughter she may end up liking you, she may even love you, but if all you do is demand her respect you will lose it all.
You would need to define "friend" to get a more concise answer to your question though.
2007-10-01 06:00:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I want to be my sons friend but at the same time do what's best for him.
2007-10-01 08:34:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They want to stay friends because they are afraid they will drift apart after the child becomes more independant.
2007-10-01 05:53:56 · answer #10 · answered by webcop33 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋