i'm gonna be a bridesmaid and i was really looking forward to it untill i found out i didn't have a say in the dress. what shall i do?
2007-10-01 05:15:19 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Aren't all bridesmaid's dresses chosen so they match? Either way, I've never seen a bad looking bridesmaid dress so even if it's not your ideal dress, it will probably look good anyway.
And if the dresses are really ugly you can at least pass the blame on to someone else.
2007-10-01 05:22:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
According to all the answer's you have received so far, you are being selfish and horrible, and not a true friend, I think that's rubbish, you are just being female, and want to look good! Yes it's the Brides special day, but it's a special day for you too, and your worried about looking awful on it!!
Try and talk to the bride, ask her if you can help with shopping for the dresses, if she has already made her decision, then you are stuck with what she has chosen!
If you really value her friendship, and don't like your dress,then you will just have to grin and bear it, if you pull out you will lose a friend!
I know Lot's of people out there wont like this, but it's often been my experience of weddings, and Ive entertained at many, that if the Bride is confident about how she looks, then the Bridesmaids look wonderful, when the Bride is not, the Bridesmaids look like a bag of spuds, I suppose the bride is afraid of being outshone on her big day, especially if any of the Bridesmaids are prettier than she is!
If I were you Tess, I would just go with the flow, it's only one day, and not worth the hassle of making waves! Relax and have a good time, you never know, you might love the dress the Bride has chosen, why don't you get yourself some really nice costume jewellery and personalise your outfit a little, I'm sure you will look fantastic!!!
2007-10-01 23:14:43 · answer #2 · answered by speedboat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is the bride and groom's special day. As a bridesmaid, you should feel honored that you are asked to be in the wedding. you are there to support the bride and groom and share in their special day. The dress should not matter.
That being said, are you sure you won't have ANY say in the dress? Ask the bride. You can causally ask "so when are we going dress shopping?" Or "I saw a really pretty dress that seems like something you might like for the bridesmaids" This will let her know that you are interested in helping to pick out the dresses. I doubt that the bride will put you in something awful- she wants her pictures to look good you know!
Bottom line- if you agree to the position, you do it with a smile on your face. And feel happy and honored to have been asked.
2007-10-01 06:42:50 · answer #3 · answered by Amy P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly the bridesmaid generally wears what the bride chooses, it is not the bridesmaids wedding after all, and especially if the bride is paying for the dress, you just have to smile and support your friend on this occasion. When you get married you can always ask her to be your bridesmaid and put her in something she doesn't like as pay back lol....I have to add that my bridesmaid chose her own dress, I just paid for it, far better that way.
2007-10-01 19:47:45 · answer #4 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm shocked at all of these people who think it's ok for a bride to dictate what bridesmaids will wear without consulting them. I have never known a bride who did that. My friends and family always get the bridesmaids together for shopping and make a decision together. But I don't know, maybe I just run with a classier and more considerate crowd.
As for what you should do? I guess that depends on what stage of the dress buying you are in. If she hasn't actually picked a dress, you should suggest that you all get together to shop and try them on so you can find something that suits everyone. If she has already chosen one, you should go to the fitting and hope for the best. But if it's really objectionable, you should say something. I had a similar situation with my sister's wedding. She had her heart set on a certain color and wanted a bow on the back to match her dress. When we went to try on the dress she had selected, it fit everyone terribly and was uncomfortable. So I suggested we shop some more (she was resistant, but went along with the idea once everyone else agreed with me). We found a dress that was even more beautiful, came in the right color and we could order extra fabric to have bows made. Everyone was much happier in the end, including sis.
2007-10-01 10:46:35 · answer #5 · answered by ds37x 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well it really isn't your wedding but... ask the bride if you could go shopping with her to help her pick out bridesmaid dresses (and the wedding dress of course). And if the worst comes to the worst, don't be upset about it. Just try to have a good time on the big day. It is only for one day.
2007-10-01 06:41:32 · answer #6 · answered by *Angel* 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately most of the time brides want to have every say in the wedding, especially where bridesmaids dresses are concerned.
In my case, I took into consideration what my bridesmaids liked and did not like. My only requirements were color and length.
2007-10-01 07:16:28 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully the dress will be something that you'll be able to wear again to another event...Unfortunately, most often the bridesmaids don't have much say in the matter. For my wedding, I've asked the opinions of my girls on the dresses, and I think we've picked dresses that they all like and will be able to wear again. Good Luck though!
2007-10-01 05:19:15 · answer #8 · answered by chloe1995 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you do? What kind of friend are you that you would snub such an honor because you cannot pick the dress you wear? Why would you think you could pick a dress to wear in HER wedding? You do what good friends have done for decades you put the ugly thing on, you smile in the pictures and you help your friend out on the most important day of HER life. This has nothing to do with you so grow up and act like a mature person even if you are not. If you cannot do this they you better tell your poor friend that you want to drop out and you better tell her fast because you will be messing up her plans. Some friend you are I wonder why she even asked such a shallow self centered person.
2007-10-01 06:05:18 · answer #9 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sure your dress will be pretty, even if it isn't the one you would have picked. It's all about the bride on her special day. Just be happy that you were chosen to be a bridesmaid and wear what she picks out. You can still do your hair and makeup how you like and wear whatever jewelry and shoes you like. It will be fine...and then someday when you are married it will be all about you. ; )
2007-10-01 05:20:54 · answer #10 · answered by ANGEL 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋