They say in true love you lose yourself..."the self" ceases to exist.To my mind this means heading for disaster coz if you hand over all the control to someone else then in today's world you are bound to get pushed around, misused and even abused.Besides I believe you got to love yourself first to be loved by anyone else.So does it then mean that we cannot afford to really love? and what do you do when there is a conflict between yourself and the one you love (or the one you think you love)?
2007-10-01 04:24:07 · 26 answers · asked by sunshine 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I couldn't....
2007-10-01 04:26:15 · answer #1 · answered by leprechaun3833 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kind of a weird question, but here's what I think. when u r in love with someone, u normally put them even before urself. Although, there are some times when u have to think about urself and do what is best for u no matter what. But, in a serious relationship u devote urself to that other person. U can always still love urself, that is always important, but u shouldnt love urself too much. That is vanity, and a sin. When ur in a conflict, compromise is the key. It doesnt sound like u know anything about relationships. U might want to read up a little bit. O, also, just because u give ur love to someone else, doesnt mean ur gonna get pushed around or anything. And, u never hand over ALL the control to ANYONE. That's not how things work.
2007-10-01 04:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way, Watch out! If you lose yourself, then what's left for your partner to love. You're no longer an individual. You become a yes woman never stating a preference. You don't let your partner what pleases you and what doesn't. You never tell your mate if they're making a mistake. AS time goes by you start resenting the one you sacrificed everything for and consider yourself a martyr. This can make you bitter; blaming the other person for things that you are responsible for. To really love, you must be yourself and be loved as you are. Share of yourself but don't lose yourself.
2007-10-01 04:38:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't loose yourself, and you won't give up control of yourself.
That sure isn't the meaning of true love.
True love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous; Love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and it is not resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope; and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.
(this is printed and taped to my desk. I read it every day)
If you are not a whole, complete person you can't complete the relationship.
Conflicts will happen. What you do with them will determine who you are. When I have a conflict, I just ask myself if making this point, or winning this argument, is worth the stress and emotional anguish it causes. It really never is.
Be yourself! If your relationship doesn't withstand that then it wasn' right to start with.
2007-10-01 04:36:51 · answer #4 · answered by Larry W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To lose ones self to love is not as you describe - it is a depth to which few experience but all are capable. When you get lost in love you find yourself in your partner and they in you so you become one - as one nothing else is more precious or worth more than the love you have together. It is probably best recognized in the marriage and love that Paul Newman and Joann Woodward - they are truly lost to the world since they have found each other. To lose ones self to love is to gain a part of you you did not previously know. Hope this helps you get a clearer picture of the concept.
2007-10-01 04:31:30 · answer #5 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True love is giving a person your heart and trusting them not to destroy it.
Unfortunately, he destroyed my heart. We do get pushed around and misused. When me and my ex were just friends, I knew that if I truly loved him, I would keep it a secret and think about how he would feel. He still loved his ex girlfriend. I knew that, and I thought that we never had a chance. even though this was true, I still loved him very much. But we did get together and he used me so badly. I don't really know the answer to this....I don't think we can afford it. I believe you truly, TRULY love once and if your heart is broken by that, you havve a little chance of truly loving somone again.
Overall...yes, I lost myself. But it depends on what kind of person you love. If they love you back and never treat you like crap, then no, I don't think you lose yourself.
2007-10-01 04:32:02 · answer #6 · answered by DragonLady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you can love without losing yourself. True love is when someone loves you for the person that you are and if you love yourself too, then you are both loving the same person.
If someone says that they love you, but try to get you to change, then it is not true love.
The trick is too know and love yourself enough to know the difference. That part takes practice.
Does that make any sense? I know what i am trying to say but it is hard to put it into words.
Well hope that helps anyway.
2007-10-01 04:31:11 · answer #7 · answered by Staci 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Self-love is priceless....it's been said that if you do not love yourself then others cannot really love you. Self-value/love is irreplaceable, no matter what lengths one goes to to find a replacement for their lack, i won't help. Yes, you can afford to love, just make sure you know you love yourself first and no one comes before you. That is why it is best that one does not get into a relationship without knowing their self worth....if you are having insecurity issues and lacking self-esteem (which is love and acceptance for ALL of you) then you're not ready to love, if so, you're heading for disaster and dissapointment.
2007-10-01 04:30:15 · answer #8 · answered by NO♥NAME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's true when you learn to love yourself you can love some one or they can love you to. I dont believe you loose yourself. If you truely love someone and think it is real then they should love you to. It's not you giving yourself to them it's you two giving yourselfs to each other. I think the problem with the world is that everyone wants to be loved so bad that they give there selves to each other and it is not true so when someone else comes along it's easy for one to get up and walk off and the other gets hurt.
2007-10-01 04:30:30 · answer #9 · answered by BWife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is the 'they' that says you lose yourself if you love? Don't buy everything you read...it's actually quite unhealthy to lose yourself in a relationship, and the people that allow that to happen are the ones that find they cannot function when the relationship ends (or want to die, or commit suicide, etc).
You can love someone with everything you have "to give", but that 'everything' shouldn't be everything you have (just what you have "to give")...one should ALWAYS keep themselves a whole and individual person.
2007-10-01 04:29:29 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do lose yourself in true love.
Only when you love yourself, will you be able to love another.
And when you find that someone who loves you, and you love that person as well. Only good things could come from it. As for the conflicts, if it is indeed genuine love, they should be resolved faster than they started. Or, at least that's what I believe.
2007-10-01 04:28:39 · answer #11 · answered by crankdat.kellyanne 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋