My daughter 20 month old daughter acts jealous of me and her father? Well all be laying down on the couch or something and her dad will have his arm around my stomach and she whines and tries to take his hand off me? Just wondering if this is normal? She is not a clingy toddler, she doesnt really snuggle or act like she's extremely attached to me, she has no problems when I drop her off with the babysitter thats what puzzles me? Any suggestions or exprerience with this?
2007-10-01 04:23:06 · 12 answers · asked by ▒Bella▒ 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Did I say I dont cuddle her!? No I didnt I said she wasnt a very clingy baby doesnt show a lot of affection, I would love it if she would let me just hold her and hug her and cuddle her but unfortunalty she puches away and gets down to run around, unless she is very tired then sometimes she'll allow me to!
2007-10-01 04:32:30 · update #1
My kids did the same thing. It does not mean you do not show her enough attention. My daughter hated it if she came in our room and we were in bed she HAD to squish in between us it was so funny. I think in a way they think they own their mommies and they also get protective of us, it is instinct for them as well as for us. My kids are 6 and 8 and still do that, we just make a joke out of it. I have explained to them that I can hug and love their dad as well, they just always want included. And my youngest was a lot like your daughter about not wanting to be snuggled. She finally came around about 3 so hang in there she will want snuggled eventually LOL Now my oldest is the opposite she would snuggle all day if I would. And it is funny now half the time she squishes in the other half of the time she says "some one get me a barf bucket" if we are kissing, she is getting to the age her parents affection is grossing her out LOL
2007-10-01 04:58:39 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is 2.5 and I went through a fairly similar situation with her. When she turned about 1, she suddenly decided that she didn't like me. She only wanted her dad and I couldn't touch her. It was heartbreaking for me. She had been saying 'mama' but at that time, refused to do so. I couldn't hold her, read to her... I would ask for a kiss and she would run to her dad in the next room and kiss him instead. It was awful! Anyway, that lasted about 6mos and then she turned on her dad and I was her fave. I think it's all part of learning human manipulation. She's playing around with hurting one or the other of you and that's very normal. Don't take it personally, really. My daughter finally leveled out and now treats us the same (thank God). Just make sure your husband isn't playing on it. I'm sure he feels tremendously flattered by her preferring him. As tempting as it may be, he cannot ever reward her for that or in any other way make it look like it's the two of them vs you. When she does start preferring you, make sure you don't applaud it as well.
hang in there and good luck!
2007-10-01 04:30:57 · answer #2 · answered by colley411 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tricky - but don't feel its because your a bad parent. Children have a wonderful way of making things hard. If I was I'd carry on - maybe try and explain to yourdaughter when she tries pushing you/her dad apart that its nice to cuddle the people you care about.
Ignore her 'bad behaviour' and try and encourage her to have a hug too. Because Mummy and Daddy lover her too.
It might not be easy but she'll have to learn that she can't always get her own way. And it'll be easier to break the mode now rather than when she's older.
Good luck and happy hugging =)
2007-10-01 08:10:27 · answer #3 · answered by Perfect_angel_bear 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like my son did as a baby- very independent.
I did experience something like this, my son was 21 months old. My husband went to Iraq when he was 9 months old and returned when he was 21 months old. He wasn't used to seeing me share my time and affection with anyone other than him and he couldn't stand it. However, it didn't last very long at all (maybe a couple of months?). We just made sure to include him in the hugs and that seemed to work out. He has gone from an non-affectionate baby to a sometimes very affectionate 32 month old.
It's probably a phase that will soon pass, don't worry!
2007-10-01 05:22:27 · answer #4 · answered by Nina Lee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter (16 months) gets upset when my wife and I hug, but usually because we're standing, and she feels excluded. After I hug my wife, I pick up my daughter and hug and kiss her, and she feels better.
When we're sitting on the couch and I put my arm around my wife, or move close to her, my daughter will come crawl up on the couch and sit with us.
I think she just wants to be included.
I never thought you weren't cuddling your daughter.
I have two little girls, and a beautiful wife. I try to cuddle them all as much as possible. I know you feel the same way about your family.
2007-10-01 04:33:03 · answer #5 · answered by trigam41 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Psychology of Sigmund Freud: Electra complex. In psychoanalysis, a daughter's supposed or unconscious attraction to her father. They also call it Daddy Issues. That will eventually die down when time comes. That's what my psychology professor said of what I could recall.
2007-10-01 04:32:48 · answer #6 · answered by xeno 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's her way of saying that you belong to her and no one else. I've seen lots of babies do this - incuding my own.
I think it will help if your husband would show her more affection. I would suggest maybe 30 min. a day of him cuddling up with her and watching tv or something - just the two of them. If she feels really close to him, the jealousy will go away.
Good luck to you!
2007-10-01 04:36:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is learnt that if she cries and moans that he will stop holding you and so she wins and so she is using this to get her way and attention.Next time you lay together include her with you both if this won`t work then she must learn that she can not get her own way all the time and may be ignore her protests and see what happens
2007-10-01 04:28:34 · answer #8 · answered by kevinmccleanblack 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The song that makes me cry the most is a song called "My Immortal" by Evanescence. Beautiful , but sad written lyrics. A very powerful song that brings me to tears from the very first line of the song being sung. Every time. Amy Lee can sing the hell out of that song.
2016-03-19 03:09:52 · answer #9 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty normal. Is just a stage they go trough....It´ll go away..I´m a mother of 2,,,We took it with out a problem, it used to made us laugh!...They´re now 11 and 16!...time passes by so quick! ... just enjoy, read and learn they are great in every stage of their lives!!!
2007-10-01 04:36:10 · answer #10 · answered by jackielafemme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋