I am can't get over my last relationship. We were super intense for 8 mnths. We talked about marriage, best friends. But near the end we were both going through really bad times and fighting constantly. So, I thought we should break up so we could both get our lives together and he reluctantly agreed. I ended up having a one night stand while we were apart and decided to be honest with him even though we weren't together. He freaked out a little but then seemed ok with it. Well, out of nowhere one day he tells me it is totally over. Then for weeks I am writing him letters and he tells me he is confused and needs time to think. Well, him pretty much hating me and blaming our relationship failing was too much to bear. And I ended up for weeks in the hospital. He said we'd have a nice talk when I was better. A month later I find out he has a new gf a sister of one of our friends. Now I can't hang out with our friends and he has completely moved on. I am a wreck.
2007-10-01 04:20:02 · 15 answers · asked by Princess V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am 25. I was in the hospital for depression. I have had it for years and it was part of the reason we fought. I tried killing myself
2007-10-01 04:26:17 · update #1
You guys are so nice. I did make a really stupid mistake but I was really mad and upset and depressed and drunk....and there is no excuse and I feel so horribly guilty. I still do and it was 10 mnths ago. He has completely and totally moved on like I never even existed.
2007-10-01 04:29:26 · update #2
nremtohio, you have excellent points. To fill u in a lil' more, he gave me an ultimatum to tell him the truth about whether I slept with this guy. He said if I did not tell him he wouldn't date me or be my friend. Also, though I did not know it....before I ever had that one night stand he was already hitting on his gf to be and told her we were completely over. He even invited her to my surprise bday party he was throwing me.
2007-10-01 04:35:47 · update #3
im sorry you have been so ill, you need a holiday and some good friends.... come to adelaide australia and you can come hang with me and my friends !!!! we will look after you
2007-10-01 04:26:42 · answer #1 · answered by ozzi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, start with a list of all of his negative attributes, and be honest. DO NOT listen to country music, just makes you sadder. Go have a new hairstyle done, get a manicure, pedicure. Go out with the girls and have some fun WITHOUT men involved.....You are someone, even if you do not have this guy. Love you then the rest falls into place.
Do something good for you! Oh, and breathe... nice long breaths, take a walk in the wonderful fall air, watch the pretty sunset, many things can help get over a bad breakup... this is not the end of the world, just one chapter in a long story.
2007-10-01 04:24:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unlike some. I actually took the time to read your entire question.
Let me see if I have this right:
Lots of fights, you broke up with him, slept with another guy and then told him about it, thought he was ok with it, had second thoughts and now your pissed because he has another girl-friend?
If you read my short and to the point by point reflection you should be able to answer your own question.
But, you did ask a question and I'm not one of those jerks who just bashes people for a poor decision, so, let me see if I can help.
If you really want him back your way past the point of asking for it. You need to prove it. You hurt him with the one night stand, whether you intended to or not. You should have never told him, you were broke up and you didn't owe him any explanation. Try proving it, take HIM to dinner, talk to HIM and leave you, you, you out of the discussion.
If you are ready to move on, then just move on. Bad decisions were made but you can learn from these. I have always learned a lot more from a broken relationship that I ever learned from a smooth one. They define us as people, they let us know what our boundaries are.
Good Luck!
2007-10-01 04:29:48 · answer #3 · answered by nremtohio 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, never divulge your indiscretions with any man. Men want to think they are special. Your choosing a one night stand indicates you may have low self-esteem. The comments about confusion from him seem like he is not being honest with you, he is dating someone else, ergo, he is over your relationship. All you can do now is mourn the loss of the relationship and learn from that experience.
Now, onto a more important comment, why did you give up your "magic" to your boyfriend? You do not NEED anyone to fulfill you in life. You need only YOURSELF to fulfill your life.
You gave your boyfriend power over your feelings.
You, as a human being, are unique and have much to offer the right person. Every morning wake up and look at yourself in the mirror and say "hello, I am cool, I am pretty, I am smart, I can do anything I set my mind to doing".
You are what you Think you are. If you think you are pretty,
soon you will start becoming that pretty person. If you think you are smart, you will start to become that smart person.
Dont let anyone else define who you are. Only you can define who you are.
If you have been hospitalized for weeks, I would say you had severe depression, or physical illness of that depression.
Ask your doctor for medicine to help you over this hellacious time. For a few cents, you can get fairly good relief.
There are self-help books, tons of them, on dating. Look them up, buy them used. You need to learn a little more about dating, what is ok and what is not.
Hope this helps.
2007-10-01 04:35:31 · answer #4 · answered by sweetstlouiswoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to try to get some counseling to help you deal with this, and some new friends. the fact that you were fighting near the end of when you were together indicates that you may not have been good for each other. If you were in the hospital because of the failing relationship makes me think that you are very intense and that may be too much for him.
good luck to you!!
2007-10-01 04:29:36 · answer #5 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every 1 knows that luv is tha hardest thing i know think that u will never get over him but i promise these things take time and you will see in a while u find yourself not thinkin bout him t l but keep yourself occupied in that mean time hang out with friends work anything to keep busy it really does help
2007-10-01 04:34:12 · answer #6 · answered by felicia g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget him and find one that is better ,this one was not mean`t to be ,get over it and move on as this will only affect your whole life and effect future relationships if you do nothing but worry over it.
Think of it as you where to good for him and what he missed out on and get going on to another
2007-10-01 04:25:17 · answer #7 · answered by kevinmccleanblack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just hav some confidence there r other guys and it seemes u had a ruff relationship but just try 2 hang out wit ur girls and it will be ok. im sory ill pray 4 u. good luck my friend. :)
2007-10-01 04:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by toph206 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you had sex with someelse and that pretty much put an end to it. you can never take that back. you made a desion to sleep with some else and that will always haunt you two. you have to try and make yourself happy no matter what. time heals everything it really does trust me ---time---
2007-10-01 04:26:51 · answer #9 · answered by grycld1967 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie!!! you need to surround yourself with family and real friends. This guy is not worth loosing your mental heatlth about. You need to move on too.. take each day in stride, focus on other things, new friendships and relationships :) good luck
2007-10-01 04:24:36 · answer #10 · answered by PuRpLe HaZe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lots of unrequited sex.
...No seriously...
Move on. Find something to channel your frustration in -- volunteer work, new club, new hobby... some way to meet new people and who knows -- maybe your next new love.
2007-10-01 04:22:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋