well there is this guy i have been seeing for 2 weeks.. we slept together on 2nd date. we have somewhat of a unconventional friendship/relationship.... well the problem lies here. Well this guy I have been “seeing” right.. well I thought I caught him in a lie this weekend. Well I totally just said he lied and I was hurt/pissed. Well he was like it freaked me out that you acted that way.. and well I was pissed that I THOUGHT he lied to me.. he was like well I am hurt you accused me etcetc. I do believe him now.. but he’s like are we on the same page and I was like of course.. 2 adults who realize that no one is perfect.. etc. and well I was like you can either forgive & forget or whatever.. do you think he truly forgives me and is he still freaked out???? He said I was acting like we were already bf/gf and we had only known each other a short time which is true, but I need to protect myself…. What do I do to make it up to him and show him I am not a complete and utter psycho path???
2007-10-01 03:59:13 · 9 answers · asked by pink 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
please tell me that this is salvagable.. he is such a nice guy who is great. what do i do??????
2007-10-01 04:00:15 · update #1
i know we are not.. but i really like him.. this is difficult.. can someone please give me advice.. he says he has fallen for me and that he really likes me.. what do i do?
2007-10-01 04:07:43 · update #2
your right.. most would.. he told me that he had fallen for me>> does that make a difference?
2007-10-01 04:15:28 · update #3
Wow...been there too! Ive had so many dating experiences its not even funny...i swear...I have been through it all and im only 25, 26 soon in two months....anyway...
What you should tell him" im really sorry about (blank), its just that ive been hurt before so many times , that I was holding my guard up when that happened and thats why I reacted that way. Im sorry for that...its was stupid of me to act that way....its not like I assumed youre my BF or anything, I just dont like to be lied to period, not even from my friends. Than just lie and say that your bestfriend had just let you down and lied about something earlier that day too, and you were still kind down about it and when you thought he lied about something too, you kinda took it out on him, when you should have taken out on your bestfriend.
2007-10-01 04:39:52 · answer #1 · answered by laura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is exactly why "friends with benefits" doesn't work. Unless you're hearless and just want to get laid, there's no way to prevent deeper feelings. That's just the way things work.
Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I think if you're sleeping together, you are boyfriend and girlfriend, whether you call it that or not. So, you have three choices at this point. Talk to your "friend" and make this an exclusive relationship, then you can move forward. Or you can break things off now, before you get into any deeper trouble. Or you can simply keep having casual sex and accept the fact that you're going to hurt each other along the way. And also accept the consequences that could result.
Good luck.
2007-10-01 04:05:52 · answer #2 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only been two weeks and you are acting like this? Dating is not a commitment, I don't know why so many women get confused when it comes to this. You say friends with benefits so I'm assuming you've slept with him already. You can't separate your emotions from the sex. It's way too soon to be acting like that. It really depends on whether or not this guy thinks you are going to be worth his time because I'd think most would hit the ground running.
2007-10-01 04:11:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to figure out if you want a real relationship or an FWB. Because if it's a true FWB, then you wouldn't worry about anything because it doesn't matter. You wouldn't worry about making things right to get him to forgive you. You two would just move on. This is the problem with FWBs...women get attached, that's why they rarely work. While the men think it's all about the sex, which it's supposed to be.
2007-10-01 04:04:00 · answer #4 · answered by CC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has "fallen for you", then it seems to me to be more than just a "friends with benefits" situation. Maybe his little lie he told you prompted him into actually revelaing something he didn't want to have to do (by saying he likes you more), and now he's had sex with you is afraid that if he didn't say what he did, he'd ruin it for himself and get cut off from any future sex. To cover yourself, try seeing how he feels about you without the "benefit" for a couple dates. See what response that brings. His true colors may shine through one way or the other.
2007-10-01 04:32:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are an adult, first off stop using "I was like", "he was like" and "it was like". It either was something or it wasn't something...it wasn't 'like' something.
Next, you two got things out in the open, so time will tell where it goes from there. Be honest, keep communication open, and go with the flow. How can we know if he truly forgives you or is still freaked out? We don't know him.
2007-10-01 04:03:31 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, you need to chill. The two of you are NOT in a committed relationship...you're just having sex, so he does not owe you ANYTHING. Grow up.
And next time, keep your legs closed until you are ready for a committed relationship based on love and trust and communication.
2007-10-01 04:04:23 · answer #7 · answered by Frinn 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well if it's friend's with benek your e you acting lifits, like he said why act like bf/gf. But you are just trying to make a relationship as soon as you can and not owrry about later. But jsut talk with him and tell him how you feel and tell him what you want and how you and him and make up.
2007-10-01 04:08:44 · answer #8 · answered by Always ready for anything 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let it go . . . apologize and let him accept it. i've been thru that for 22 years. you have to trust what he says. if he says it's ok, then believe him, but DON"T DO IT AGAIN. yes, i know . . easier said than done.
if you don't keep doing it then he will have an easier time forgetting and moving forward. everytime you make the same mistake you go back to the beginning and have to start all over.
u can do this!
2007-10-01 04:03:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋