Comments, thoughts or expereinces in childhood abuse?

Question

I am about to turn 20 but between the ages 10 and 14 i was sexually abused by my step father. my mother never knew or turned a blind eye. He never raped me, but once or twice a week would proceed to give me a "back rub" that would end up in my pants. i never protested, never told anyone who could help, or did anything. i feel ashamed, mostly. my body responed even though i knew it was wrong. does that mean i liked it, therefor it wasnt really abuse? i also feel ashamed that it wasnt me who told, it was my sister. my mother didnt believe us when she found out. she thought it was some ploy to get our father and her back together. i dont really have a question, i would like to see comments or throughts or some sort of connection with other people like me.

my father did press charges on our behalf. My stepfather got 9 months in jail and some other stuff.

Answer 1

You liking it, was not wrong, You are maturing, and the responces of your body was natural. You ought to loose the, " oh feel sorry for me, because my Dad did this and that to me thing " Your dad was wrong in what he did. Maybe it was his perverted way, of showing love and affection.

You say, your 20 now. If you can function sexualy with a boy friend with out problems consider your self lucky.

My father was a Bad A.s.s Marine Core Drill Seargent. Never had the father to son talks. I learned from the streets and from others. At least your step dad cared

Answer 2

I feel for you that these awful things were done to you. I was also abused growing up and it has taken years of therapy as an adult for me to finally realize that it wasn't my fault.

It is defiantly still abuse even if your body did react. It is natural for your body to react a certain way to certain touches, doesn't change the fact that you didn't consent, ask for or invite that touch. Besides, you were a child so it would have been wrong anyway.

Please don't be ashamed that it was your sister who first told and not you. There are so many people who never ever tell, then there are those who tell straight away and all the people in between. There is nothing for any of us to be ashamed of. There are reasons why people don't tell and once you can understand yours hopefully you will realize that you have nothing to be ashamed of.

I would really advise that you speak to someone professionally about this, or at least a helpline or something. I know it's really hard to do that but there is really so much help and support out there which you can access. Don't continue to suffer alone, you really do deserve to be able to move on from this.

Answer 3

I think the whole thing is an emotional experience so I recommend looking up and using Emotional Intelligence for the individual, there are many uses. I think you will feel a whole lot better then and I won't mention the other benefits, but I can assure you that you'll be looking in the right direction altogether. There's a free eBook on my profile. Just write if you have any comments. luv

Answer 4

Just because your body responded, it DOES NOT mean you enjoyed it. What a sick S.O.B.
YOU did NOTHING wrong and should not feel ashamed or guilty. HE needs to be in jail.
If your Mom can't wake-up and face facts, you need to limit contact with her. She obviously did not have your welfare as her major concern. You should NOT feel guilty because you were too frightened to tell anyone..I'm sorry you didn't have anyone you felt you could confide in when the abuse started...and it is still RAPE...and it is still CHILD ABUSE..there is no "degree" in my opinion (just as murder is murder...the person is still dead no matter what the circumstances are around it)... You would greatly benefit from counseling or joining a group for abuse survivors. Having been sexually abused myself by a cousin, it took me many years to come to grips with it all. Just remember....IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT....IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT....

Answer 5

That kind of abuse is unforgivable! It was in no way your fault & most never tell an adult and people like your mother are to blame. Calling you & your sister liars is emotional abuse. If you haven't already, get therapy. You do need it, even if you think yo'ure over it.
God bless your father!

Answer 6

hey my dear, don't even think for a moment u did some thing wrong. you know in the law, if u are under 18, even if u insist to do it, he will still go to jail for that, because you are a child and u don't even know what u asked for.
In your case, you didn't even insist it, and you were child, he is the adult one who has evil mind, i been there once, you don't know how much anger am holding against that person. God will punish him i believe. I didn't tell to any one, because in some i felt it was my fault. i was like 5-7 years old. but i know i didn't do any thing wrong.
but u my dear if he is still around please do something about it, because he will keep doing to other girls.

Answer 7

It sucks you went through that. If it were me, I'd call the law on this bum and file charges... You may or may not win in court, due to age of evidence, but he should at least be held accountable in the court of public opinion.

You did nothing wrong in 'enjoying' the experience. How could you know better?

Answer 8

your father was infact a sick person.also he may thought that you were step daughter so he did that. no father even step fathers do like that. hug to child daughters is common but like on ending in pants and the one that feels shame to you is really weird. infact yo uwere small to understand it what was really he doing.
however fathers sometimes place small daugthers on their belly, back and some times even on thighs but thats not abuse as long as in clothes and father is not really a sick person . that is a sign of love.

Answer 9

first of all, it's NOT YOUR FAULT, hon, so don't feel guilty or ashamed.. your step father is sick, and that is not your fault, either...

you could be suffering from some post traumatic stress disorder symptoms... and most of the time, we really need to talk to someone for help. it might be a good idea to see a therapist...

you can also do a yahoo search for SURVIVING SEXUAL ABUSE, COPING WITH SEXUAL ABUSE, PTSD SYMPTOMS.

I hope you get help, and please realize it's really not your fault.

Answer 10

"THAT" kind of abuse you went through was and always will be horrifyingly wrong. I'm sorry you had to go through that. People like your stepfather need to be reported & locked up for touching minors inappropriately.

Pedophiles make me sick.