Over the past year my son and his wife (of almost 20 years) having been having a messy seperation. I would rather not go into details, but I have learned things about her that I wish I hadn't. I've loved her like a daughter and now I can't make myself talk to her even for the sake of the grandkids. Maybe the fact that I still love her is part of the problem. For many reasons I can't avoid contact with her. Even though I am on a daily dose of xanax, I am having serious panic attacks when I see her. They are incapacitating and have to end. Any ideas.
2007-10-01 02:32:21 · 2 answers · asked by alice 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You are going to have to deal with this somehow. I had a similar situation with my own daughter. To cut a long story short, she denied me access to her children whom I adore. This went on for 18 months. During that time she became pregnant with and delivered twins. I was not allowed to see them either! All of this stress brought on severe panic attacks. In desperation I sought medical advice and also joined a local support group, which fortunately for me was for grandparents who are denied access to their grandchildren!! My point is, Can you find simliar support for yourself in your situation? Or make an appointment to see a counsellor? You need this. It helps to talk about these problems with understanding professional people and people who are experiencing similar problems. Don't try and cope with this stress alone. I know that you do not want a confrontation with your daughter in law because you do not want to risk being denied seeing your grandchildren. I can fully understand this but you need to get some help, relief and guidance for your self.
I now see my daughter and all of the grandchildren but I can't forgive my daughter in my heart. I doubt I ever will. She does not know I feel this way toward her as I hide it. I no longer trust her but as long as I keep my mouth shut, I know I can see my grandchildren any time and they are so precious to me. If you want to talk or have more questions, please email me. I would love to help.
2007-10-01 02:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by rosie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, please stop allowing others to control your emotions.. this situation between your son and his wife isn't YOUR problem, hon.
The son and wife have to work things out on their own, go their separate ways, or whatever. Meanwhile, you can be supportive, but remember they are adults....
You really have no control over what they've done individually, either. And if people have told you things about the daughter in law you wish you never heard, well, it's HERESAY and you can't know if it's true or not.
If you are having panic attacks, maybe talk to a therapist. Panic disorders are difficult to deal with and i think that in this case, someone to talk with might help you.
take care.
2007-10-01 03:19:40 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋