My husband and I had a daughter and we were very strict with her when she was growing up and she wasn't allow to do hardly anything. When she was 17 she met a guy and he asked our permission to date our daughter and we said yes. My husband and I found out they were having sex and we handle it badly. We called our daughter names and made things even harder on her and stopped her from seeing her boyfriend. When she turned 18 she moved out and we went 1 year without seeing and talking to her. One day I decided to go see her and she had moved away. We had no idea where she moved to and since then my husband has died and I remarried. I hired a PI to find my daughter and the PI found out where she lives and gave me the information. I want to see my daughter so badly and apologize to her and beg her forgiveness for how I treated her. Do I have the right to contact her?
2007-10-01 01:57:04 · 10 answers · asked by genie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes, you have every right to try to contact her, but please, prepare yourself for the possibility that she may not want to heal the relationship with you.
Write her a letter and apologize to her. Leave your contact info in it and wait to see if she responds. That way you give her the power to make the decision. You just deal with the possibility she may not want contact.
2007-10-01 04:09:47 · answer #1 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter would be around 33 now. I think I would try and write her a letter with your return address and see if she responds. Wait a while if she doesn't respond try again. Connecting with your daughter after all these years is important to you so I would be persistent until she responded. For no other reason then to apologize to her for the wrong doings that you participated in. She needs to know that her father has passed on, no matter what her feelings may have been towards him. She needs to know that information. Cause of Death may be important to her if she has children of her own due to heredity illness and diseases. I believe not only do you have the right you have the moral obligation to let her know you were wrong. It's never too late to ask for forgiveness. It's a different story if she will accept the apology. I hope she does. it takes a big person to admit you were wrong, but it also takes a bigger person to forgive. If she fails to answer the letters, maybe you can try and call her. The shock of you trying to reach her will be over now because you would have tried initially been by the letters. I wish you both good luck you need to resolve this issue to both of you can have peace of mind.
2007-10-01 07:44:24 · answer #2 · answered by Butch. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, it feels like you are in rather a sticky predicament. To placed as effectively as I can even though, if you are nonetheless in love with him in any case those years, in spite of the sexual permit downs, then there may be absolutely nonetheless rationale to stick and take a look at to repair matters. At first, I was once pondering you must attempt to seperate to exhibit him how so much he is harm you. But as I learn on, I learned that he is without doubt now not telling you anything. Something's lacking, and if I have been you, I'd be looking to determine that one out extra. There's not anything worst than miscommunication. I'm definite you recognize that even though. Btw, approximately him in need of you extra whilst he learned that your frame modified, could be very usual for any guy. May be this difference reminds him of what was while you 2 first met. Be cautious, g'good fortune, and congrats on making him desire you once more!! After 15 years, that is rather an accomplishment I feel. ^_^
2016-09-05 13:28:35 · answer #3 · answered by chappel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and contact her, but make sure you apologize to her! She's your daughter. Calling her names just because she was sleeping with her boyfriend was wrong. I honestly don't blame her for leaving. But she does have a right to know about her father. I'm surprised you didn't contact her when this happened. But the decision is ultimately going to be up to her whether or not she wants a relationship with you. She probably feels you don't love her and could be very angry if you contacted her. But you have nothing to lose since it's been 15 years, so go ahead and write her, but don't expect anything. If she does want to see you, then don't bring up any bad subjects that first time....wait a bit for that. You made mistakes and want to correct that, so for that I commend you. Good luck.
2007-10-01 02:12:17 · answer #4 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're going to do what you want regardless of what people on Yahoo tell you to do. (At least I would.)
I think you do have the right to contact her just as much as she has the right to deny you contact!
I WOULD contact her by letter...do not show up on her doorstep. In the letter, I would tell her how you feel and give her your contact info and then leave the ball in her court. That way she feels she's in control of the situation (since growing up she was never allowed to be in control.) If she wants to contact you great! If not, well thats a choice she is free to make and you'll just have to live with that based on the choices you were free to make.
2007-10-01 02:14:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try writing her a letter and see if she responds back to you. I think if you were to call, it may shock her at first and but her on the defensive by bringing up all the bad memories she has of her childhood.. Also I wouldn't push the issues to much if she chooses not to talk to you, if you keep trying it isn't going to do anything but make her very mad and make a bad relationship worse.
2007-10-01 02:05:33 · answer #6 · answered by Angela F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do have the right to contact her. She also has the right to refuse you. Write her and ask for her forgiveness. By now she may want to see you. However because of how poorly you handled the situation, your moral and ethical authority with her is at best minimal. Tread carefully and lightly.
2007-10-01 03:12:50 · answer #7 · answered by Bob D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only do you have the right, you have the responsibility. You screwed up, you know that and you need to set things straight.
While I have minimal contact with my mother who did something similar, I wouldn't trust her with a ten foot pole let alone my heart. She never admitted what she did wrong, and now that she's elderly, she's actively rewriting history.
If you can't be sincere and accept what her reaction might be(she's not going to welcome you with open arms), then don't interfere with her life. She didn't seek you out, remember that.
2007-10-01 02:10:13 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send a letter expressing your feelings and then wait for her to contact you. You have no right to just show up or call. If she doesn't call, send her a card on her birthday each year and maybe, someday, she'll call you.
2007-10-04 22:59:00 · answer #9 · answered by hawkinthehouse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be ok to try....i'd write her a short note. You can say you are sorry, love her, and that you'd like to try again...
However, if you are apt to tell others what to do and how to run their lives, i'd give it a second thought. She's been there, done that, and im' sure she doesn't want to go through it again.
2007-10-01 02:46:17 · answer #10 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋