Me and my ex still keeps contact on msn, we dated 4 years ago. and we did not dump each other, the relationship finished because of distance and comunication ( i did not speak much english at the time)..but now we comunicate really well! He said he wanted to send me a 4 year old letter that he wrote and didnt send me at the time for some reason., i got the letter and it was a pic of us, and he said in the letter that he wanted me to move to his place with him! but he said he never opened the envelope he didnt remember what was writen, but he sent me anyway... (very strange)! he said he found the letter when he was cleaning his room. I asked him if he still feels the same, but he never really tells me.. I had a arguement with him because of this letter and we stoped talking for 2 months, but then he came back again, he said he likes me and enjoy talking to me.
PS: i have a bf now, maybe he is just scared of saying what he really feels? why he would send me this letter ?
2007-09-30 23:41:12 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
please dont say forget him, because i cannot.. i just need your opnion. thank you
2007-09-30 23:41:43 · update #1
well make more time for each other.
2007-09-30 23:44:45 · answer #1 · answered by steven e 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Consider it this way:
If I had been your boyfriend of 4 years ago, and I had cared for you very deeply, then, communication difficulties or not, I would have posted that letter to you at the time of writing it. I would have wanted you to read it, and I wouldn't have let you go.
Distance and communication problems wouldn't have prevented me from being with you. I would have overcome them. I would have walked barefoot over a thousand miles of broken glass just to be with you, because I loved you
[if I had been your boyfriend, which I wasn't of course. It's all hypothetical].
I take it he didn't even walk over a broken milk bottle.
I find it hard to believe that he didn't read it before sending it to you 4 years later, and even harder to believe that he didn't remember what was in it. A letter of that sort you do not forget easily, as it takes passion, feelings, emotion to write.
You have a boyfriend now, but don't say how long you have been together, or how you feel about him. If you love him, he loves you [and shows it] and you find no faults with him that would make living your life with him a difficult or unpleasant thing to do, then perhaps you should stick with him.
We are all guilty sometimes of being 'in love with the memory of a past loved one', even if the situation wasn't perfect at the time.
The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. It may appear that way sometimes, but it can [and so often does] fade very quickly.
I hope this helps you a little, and wish you the best of luck with the choice you are faced with.
Take care,
Allen Fangel
2007-10-01 15:55:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is a poor communicator, whatever the language. I had a bf for 5 years who spoke limited English and my German was almost nonexistent, and we broke up over a typical issue because we communicated just fine.
He doesn't know what he feels, and can't express it in any reasonable way whenever he DOES figure it out for a short flash of time.After the flash is over, he goes back to being confused about how he feels.
He'll always be mixed up, bottled up and frustrating to deal with. No matter how much time you give him or how much English you learn, he's not going to be fixable.
What about your current bf? I think the cruelty here is the neglect you offer him while you indulge yourself in angst over a guy who is more or less a figment of your imagination.
2007-10-01 06:51:13 · answer #3 · answered by nora22000 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to work out for yourself who you care for more and what direction you want to take you life.
If you want to live you life based on your career more then maybe you should think about staying where you are for the time being.
But if you want to live you life based on your heart (which it sounds very much like) then you need to think (or feel) about you you care for more your current boyfriend or your ex, think who would you trust more with your life or even to do a simple thing for you like hold on to something precious for you and keep it safe.
And also think about the feelings you have for your boyfriend and your ex and who you can imagine spending the rest of you life with, or even the next 10 years....who do you love, and who do you just like as a close friend, this is what you need to decide.
Theres a reason your having your doubts about you life, that probably only you know, confront your fears and make a choice.
P.S. BTW I think that your ex defiantly knew what was in the letter, and I think he never really got over you. And he is scared of saying that he loves you, because he is not sure about how you feel, because of your boyfriend, he doesn't know what to think because you have moved on and he cares for you so he wants to respect your wishes, but at the same time he wants you to choose him, because maybe, just maybe he truly loves you.......and needs you.
2007-10-01 07:03:58 · answer #4 · answered by q&a99 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me you have very strong feelings for your ex still, and not much for you new boyfriend.You need to make up your mind are you going to be emotionally attached to your ex or your new boyfriend cruel yes i think it is cruel to hold on to something old and something new .In the end you will be the one who is left out in the cold all by yourself ..End it and start new or end new and finish with the old...i know you didn't want to hear it but hear it you have.....good luck
2007-10-01 06:49:55 · answer #5 · answered by soledad67 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that you subconsciously know the answer yourself, you are just afraid of it not working out... i think that you need to be really honest with yourself and your ex and your current bf and make a decision... dont take too long tho who knows what will happen next...imagine he meets a new girl and it works out, what if he's feeling change and cool off? if you really love your new bf you wouldnt even consider having a romantic relationship with your old one...
keep your chin up girl and i hope it all works out well for all three of you... ^-^
rose and zari
xoxoxoxoxoxox
2007-10-01 07:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by Est passé de velours ♥Rose♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you are going to have to set your current bf free so you can work things out with your old boyfriend. Good Luck!
2007-10-01 06:45:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cloudamin likes to base relationships on presidents.
Lol
2007-10-01 06:48:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know why you would want someone who only cleans his room every 4 years.
2007-10-01 06:50:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to send him away so there's nothing to do but continue this odd relationship.
2007-10-01 06:45:16 · answer #10 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nope its not cruel its just theres nothing that wrong with it i also dont get why u break up constantly but its ok
2007-10-01 06:50:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋